On the Other Side of Fear Lies Freedom
by Dramamama5
Summary: What starts out as a normal case upends the team as never before, sending them on a journey none of them are prepared for. Will they be able to find their way back to the team they once were or have things changed forever? As Hetty might say, "Truth will out in the end"
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: Just to make it clear, the NCIS/NCIS LA characters, sadly, do not belong to me... All other characters are mine and should any name sound familiar to a real person... it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not on purpose.**

 **A/N: Hi there! Welcome to my new story. Let me tell you... this is an unintentional story. LOL I was supposed to be working on another story for a different fandom but while thinking about it...this story took root in my brain and just wouldn't let go. I will say, I'm nervous as all get out. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone a wee bit on this one. Please read it and review... As always, be kind. Be honest, but be kind. I have the whole thing just about finished... I will simply need to edit each chapter before posting and depending on reviews, I may find myself changing things once in a while. No promises on that, though. These characters truly have a mind of their own. I start writing with one intent and by the time I finish writing for the day, I read back over it and find I went an entirely different direction or someone popped into it that I hadn't intended. AWESOME! Anyway, I have put it off long enough... here goes. No, I meant you go, go read. Go read and review...**

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Callen was angry and at a loss. Nearly a year and a half had passed since they had assured him that there was nothing he could do that would make them turn their backs on him… until now. Now they were blaming his lone wolf tendencies as the reason Deeks lay in a coma. He wanted to try and explain but he needed to finish the case first. Regardless of his reasons, Kensi wasn't interested in hearing anything from Callen. She was too distraught to listen. Sam, who would have always at least heard him out… or would have tried to, had changed since losing Michelle. No longer the patient and centered man he once was, he was now quick tempered and moody and much less forgiving. Who could blame him? Still, he hadn't even so much as questioned the evidence. After all these years, he was too willing to assume it was merely Callen going off on his own with no concern for his partner at the time. Hetty, too, had been kept in the dark regarding the changes made to the mission at the last minute. She said little… he could see a hint of disappointment… all she said was, "truth will out in the end". He knew the Internal Affairs investigation wasn't going to help his case any… at least not for a while… not until he closed the case which was weeks away at the least. In the meant time, Deeks life still hung in the balance, Kensi was beside herself and Sam's only communication had been little more than a lecture on his inability to trust anyone… that he just couldn't seem to get past his belief that he could do it alone. Sam had all but told him that maybe it was time he do just that. That continuing on this way was too risky. He wasn't willing to lose another person in his life that he cared about.

Two weeks later and the mission was finally coming to a close. Here he sat nursing another beer. Hetty was suggesting, at this point, that he perhaps should head up another team or maybe take some of his much accrued leave. Sitting there, having lost count of just how many beers he'd had, maybe now was not necessarily the time for him to be making decisions. Truth be told… nothing would change come morning. Deeks would still be in a medically induced coma, Kensi would still hate him, Sam wouldn't trust him and Callen could once again feel the ever present sense of abandonment. He couldn't really blame them. Deeks wasn't supposed to have been hurt this badly… things didn't exactly go according to plan but when did they ever? For that reason and that reason alone, he carried the guilt that plagued him now. Guilt for what he did do and the fact that his team turned their backs on him made the choice easier than expected.

His mood didn't improve over night. Sleeping in his car would do that. Before heading home, he drove to the hospital and waited till Kensi stepped out so he could sneak in. He stood there, just watching Deeks monitors… gathering his thoughts. "Hey Marty. Can't stay long, just wanted to stop in and touch base. Things are going to be changing for the team so when you get back… Look, I tried… I had to finish the mission before I could explain… but the reality is, Marty, they don't care about the truth. Maybe they'll listen to you but it doesn't really matter anymore. You just need to get better. Kensi needs you. Take care of her, man." Callen stood looking out the window for a moment…

"You shouldn't be here, Callen", a familiar voice came from the door.

"Sam." Callen replied, turning around.

"Kensi will be back soon and you should probably not be here when she does." Sam stated… no real emotion in the words.

"I was just getting ready to leave. I wanted to stop by and see how he was doing." Callen answered somberly.

"The same. Maybe a little better. The doctor has lowered his meds to allow him to wake up, but so far nothing." Sam explained.

"Good, that's a good sign. That must be a relief for Kensi" Callen offered quietly.

"Hetty could have updated you and saved you the trip." Sam said, growing agitated with the conversation.

"I suppose, but then I haven't seen or talked to Hetty in a while." Callen stated frankly.

"Yeah, she's been busy putting out fires over this mess." Sam growled.

"Sam…seriously?" Callen asked.

"Look Callen, I'm not in the mood to rehash this. We all saw the video and read the reports." Sam crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"Fine, but just one question. When did you start taking the word of some report over the word of your partner?" Callen challenged.

"When there was video of you taking off and leaving Deeks to fend for himself!" Kensi replied as she entered behind Sam. "You just can't help yourself, can you? You just have to do things on your own."

"That's not what happened, Kensi. Just give me a few days and we'll talk. You have to trust me on this." Callen started but was quickly interrupted by the nurse.

"Is everything okay in here?"

"Yes", Kensi answered, "He was just leaving, weren't you? Oh, and Callen? For the record, I don't trust you… not anymore."

Callen just stopped and looked at Kensi… He couldn't believe what was happening. He knew it was just a mission. He knew he was innocent of what had been charged against him. He knew that as soon as he finished the case they would know… but in his heart, there was no coming back from this for any of them.

"Come on G., you need to go. I'll tell Hetty to send you updates." Sam said as he opened the door to make his point.

"That won't be necessary. I won't be where I can take calls for a while." Callen answered as he stepped out into the hall.

"Let me guess. You're going to do one of your disappearing acts." Sam said sarcastically.

"Sure Sam. That's what I'm doing. You know me, selfish lone wolf tendencies." Callen stated as he turned and walked away, leaving Sam shaking his head. Despite everything, he loved Callen like his brother. Callen had been by his side ever since Michelle had been murdered. He would be forever thankful for everything he had done to help him and the kids through the hardest time in their life. This time, however, he just went too far. He left his partner behind. He didn't have his back. That went against everything Sam believed in… and because of it, Deeks paid the price.

Callen couldn't get out fast enough. No matter how incriminating the video, this was his team. They were supposed to be his family… how could they just believe it on face value? There was a time they wouldn't have… what had changed? As he walked away, he felt every wall he had every built and let them tear down rise back into place… stronger than before. He had warned them all he couldn't do long term relationships but they wouldn't listen. Well, they weren't the only ones to learn their lesson. He had too. He was done trusting people. It never worked out for him, not as a child and not as an adult. Picking up his phone he called Director Vance.

"Hello, Director. I just wanted to let you know, I'll be in town briefly tomorrow. We need to talk." Callen's voice left no room for questioning the intent.

"Very well, Agent Callen. Tomorrow then. Have you alerted Miss Lange?" Vance asked carefully.

"I will… and Director… from here on out they are not to know my business." Callen said lowly.

"Understood. Think carefully Callen. You don't want to have regrets." Vance spoke out of concern, fearing the outcome of this upcoming visit.

"I appreciate the concern Director but I think it's a bit late for warding off regrets at this point. Tomorrow then." Callen finished and put the phone back in his pocket.

He entered his home with only one intent… to grab his stuff and get the hell out. He had already stopped by one of his many hiding spots to grab some extra cash to have on hand. As he looked around the house one last time his chest tightened at the memories he'd made while there.

As quickly as the sorrow of losing so much hit him, it was replaced with anger at their true lack of trust and loyalty and how quick they were to take things at face value. These were the people who claimed to be his family. His eyes drifted to the picture above the mantle and in a swift burst of anger he grabbed the picture off the wall and threw it across the room watching as the shattered glass covered the floor around it. Grabbing up his tea box from the center of the mantle and his duffel off the floor he closed the door behind him. He put the key in the flower pot and walked away, never looking back.

His last stop was to drop a manila envelope in the post office box addressed to Hetty


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: As always, the wonderful characters from NCIS and NCIS LA do not belong to me. There are several characters floating around in here that ARE mine... Should any of them sound familiar to real peoples in the world... it is not intentional.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you so much for those who were kind enough to leave a review. I love hearing from you. I really appreciate hearing from you on this one. That first chapter is always so hard to post. Well, onward! Chapter two. For those who are not keen on Anna and Callen... don't jump to any conclusions on this chapter. I love the character, love the the idea... I am simply unsure of the actress who plays her... anywho... here's the next chapter...let me know what you think. More to come soon. Ever notice how I babble when I'm nervous? yeah, like now...**

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The next morning found Callen heading into the Washington D.C. office of NCIS. Stepping off the elevator he found all the familiar desks empty. With a sigh of relief he aimed for the stairs leading to Leon Vance's office.

"Callen, good to see you."

"Director" he replied as they shook hands, "Thanks for seeing me."

"Sit." Vance directed as he took to his own chair, "Seemed serious when we spoke on the phone. Considering recent events, I guess I'm not surprised."

Callen only nodded.

"So, what brings you here, or do I want to know?" Leon asked guardedly.

Pulling the envelope from his jacket pocket he pushed it across the desk.

Leon looked cautiously at Callen as he picked the envelope up, "What's this?"

"I think you know, director" Callen stated in a monotone voice.

"Yes, I guess I do. Have you thought this through? You've had a good thing with OSP, you sure you want to throw that away?" Leon asked as he watched a shadow of emotion fall across Callen's face.

"I have. There is no future there for me. That much has been made very clear."

"Have you discussed this with Hetty?" Leon pushed.

"There is nothing to discuss, Leon. Sam and Kensi have been very adamant in their feelings. Hetty would have to choose between me and the rest of the team. They need a new leader. One they can trust. They have made it very plain they don't trust me. The only logical move is for me to resign." Callen explained without even a drop of emotion showing.

"They don't know the whole story, Callen. Once they know what really happened they'll think differently. Your mission is basically done. Soon we will be able to clear things up. Perhaps you should wait a bit longer before making this move." Leon argued, though one look in Callen's eyes and he knew what his response would be.

"It won't change a thing for me. I can't work with people I don't trust. They didn't, for one minute, doubt the evidence against me regardless of how long we have been a team. Even Hetty was questioning my loyalty. It's time, Leon." Callen responded coldly.

"Look, what about heading up a team here in Washington. Give it some time. Gibbs would love having you here. Then when the dust settles, you can re-evaluate your options." Leon offered in an attempt to stop the inevitable.

Callen sighed, "I appreciate the offer but I have other plans. I think it is best to make a clean break at this point."

"Callen, I can't see you doing anything else, which leads me to believe you're thinking of accepting the offer from…"

The sentence didn't need finishing with the look on Callen's face.

"Think carefully Agent Callen. Accepting that job offer is like making a deal with the devil. Working for them takes a toll and few ever see retirement." Leon warned.

Callen rose from his chair and offered his hand, "Thanks, Leon, I appreciate all you've done. However, from here on out, it's probably best that we not discuss that… besides, I'm too young to think retirement." Callen thought for a moment, "Sam once told me the only way he saw me retired was with a bullet… guess we'll have to test that theory." With that Callen turned for the door.

"Gibbs will be sorry he missed you." Leon called after him in a final good-bye as he left the office, "Damn it, Hetty!"

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

Several days had passed as Callen acquainted himself with his new life. The job promised no attachments. He would be sent his information case by case and the rest would be left to him. The only downside he found was the piece of his soul he lost by simply taking the job. Still, there was little doubt as to whether he was a match for this work. It's not like he hadn't done it before. Killing was part of the job of every agent. Now, at least, his hands weren't tied. There was no Internal Affairs, no partners to question your judgement or burn you, and no one looking over your shoulder.

He sat back in his seat and sipped his coffee as looked around at the other patrons. He watched them laugh and talk completely unaware of the dangers that surround them on any given day. He realized he would never have that carefree life, but then he never had… not even as a child. It was as if he was groomed for this job his entire life… maybe he was… maybe that had been the plan all along. Didn't matter to him anymore. He did what he did so others could have that life. It was a small price to pay. He was only one person and no one would miss him when the bullet finally found him.

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

Hetty sat at her desk with a cup of chamomile mint tea. She found herself needing something to calm her nerves as she stared at the envelope addressed to her from Callen. She had tried to touch base a few times in the past week with no luck. As far as she was aware, he had made no further attempts to see the rest of the team since he'd stopped by the hospital. With a heavy sigh she opened the envelope and dropped its contents onto her desk. Before her were two smaller envelopes. One was addressed to her and the other to Anna Kolchek. Putting Anna's to the side, she opened the other. The keys fell onto the desk as she pulled out the deed to his house and a brief note.

"Dear Hetty,

I'll make this quick as I know how you like efficiency. Inside you should have found the keys to the house and car. Do what you want with them. I no longer require either. It would be a good starter home. Consider it a gift to Marty and Kensi for their wedding, if you think they'd accept it. Give the letter to Anna for me. I didn't have time to wait for her to get back from Russia with Arkady. Good luck with your team, Hetty.

G. Callen

A single tear found its way down her cheek. It never ceased to amaze her how he could separate his emotions from any given situation. Sadly, she had wished this would have been the one time he hadn't. It made his walking away too simple. Noticeably lacking was his present whereabouts. Setting the letter aside she quickly sent a message to Anna asking her to come by the office and then she picked up her phone and called Vance.

"Hello Hetty. I was expecting a call from you." He greeted.

"Leon. Then you know why I am calling." She stated, already frustrated with the obvious stalling.

"Yes, I do and no I cannot tell you where he is" came his reply.

"And exactly why not? You owe me at least that." She retorted.

"All I am required to tell you is that he delivered his resignation to me effective immediately. From that point on you are not required to know anything. To be honest, I have no clue where he is. Gibbs has been looking for his whereabouts going on a week now and to no avail. Your Mr. Callen has become a ghost." Leon stated grimly.

"Gibbs?" she asked.

"Yes, Henrietta, Gibbs. Truth is, Callen made it clear that he cut ties with the OSP and everyone attached. He didn't want you to be given any information regarding him. You and your team screwed up, Hetty."

"I see." she was heartbroken.

"How is Mr. Deeks?" Vance asked as a distraction. He had intended to give Hetty the final report on the mission Callen and Deeks had been working on but decided to wait until he heard from Marty Deeks, himself.

"He's better. The doctors expect a full recovery. He's been awake several times now but only a few moments each. So we have garnered no further information from him.

"When he is up to it, I will need to talk to him. Keep me posted." Vance stated before ending the call.

Hetty slowly placed the phone back on its cradle. She looked down at the items on her desk then with a resigned sigh she looked back up and quickly reigned in her emotions as she looked around the room. She still couldn't believe how quickly things had fallen apart. Oh how she wish she could turn back time. With the slightest tremble of her hand she picked up her pot of tea and poured herself another cup… it was going to be that kind of day.


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: If only I were so lucky... but no, the characters of NCIS LA do not belong to me. I am merely borrowing them for a little while. I have, however, brought along a few of my own characters to play with them... should, by chance, any character resemble anyone living or dead... it is by no means intentional soooooo, yeah.**

 **AUTHORS NOTES: Thank you all so very very much for stopping by to read my story and especially to those who were kind enough to leave a review. Your reviews are what help keep things going. While I have the story written... things happen, characters may change their minds and require a wee bit of editing... So don't be afraid to stop by and share your thoughts on how the story is going. As always, play nice and be kind. So here is the next chapter. We are finally starting into it! I'm updating pretty frequently at the moment... but once we get into the real crux of things... maybe not so frequently. HA Read, Review... On your mark, get set, GO!**

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Everything okay, Hetty?" an old familiar voice asked quietly.

"Nate." Hetty smiled, "You finally made it home. I'm glad. We need you." She stated sadly.

"So I've heard. What's going on?" he asked, glancing at the contents on her desk.

It didn't go unnoticed as Hetty replied, "It appears Mr. Callen has truly resigned this time."

"Resigned? Where did he go? Nate asked surprised. Things were obviously worse than he thought.

"I don't know. Leon can't or won't tell me. Callen has blocked his files from the LA team all together. He has cut ties with NCIS completely and I fear where that may have led him." Hetty shook her head sadly.

"And the keys?" he asked curiously.

"His house and car. He gave me the deed to do with as I see fit." She answered sadly.

"Well, surely he'll want the money from the sale." Nate stated.

"No, he said I could give it away for all it matters to him. He suggested I give it to Mr. Deeks and Miss Blye as a wedding gift, if they'd take it" she added somberly.

"Why wouldn't they? It's awfully generous. Speaking of, how is the rest of the team handling this?" he asked.

"They don't know. I only just found out myself." She replied.

"So what exactly happened to bring this on? Last time I talked to you everything was settled." Nate wondered aloud.

Hetty took a sip of her tea as she gazed towards the bullpen where Kensi and Sam worked on paperwork… and then to the remaining two desks which sat empty. She almost couldn't bare the reality that her boy wasn't going to be walking in that door like the last time she and Nate spoke of the team.

"Marty and Callen were working undercover on a gun running case. It was more detailed, obviously. During the case there had been… complications. From the reports and a video they found… Callen appeared to take things into his own hands and because of that decision Marty was seriously injured. Too be honest, Nate, Callen made every appearance of crossing numerous lines." she explained.

"What are you saying, Hetty?" Nate's concern doubled as he listened. Hetty had always defended Callen. To hear her confirm the beliefs that Callen had crossed the line of right and wrong was frightening.

"What did Internal Affairs say? Have they finished their investigation? He asked.

"They have not released their reports… but I am left to wonder if that may have something to do with Callen's resignation and disappearance." Hetty replied, her tone no less concerning.

"I see. So you believe Internal Affairs have sided against him?" Nate asked, wondering if Hetty believed that was how the outcome should have been.

"Oh, Mr. Getz, I have no idea what they have done. I am saying that something doesn't smell right about this whole debacle. I don't see how they could look at that video and read the reports and not come to a sad conclusion." she sighed.

"Hetty, I have to ask. Do you truly believe he is guilty of the charges?" Nate asked in shock.

"We all know how Callen can be. I have tried for many years to get him to rely on his team for support… there is just this part of him which refuses to let anyone in." she answered sadly.

"But Hetty, normally it's regarding cases that revolve around his past or his identity that he goes lone wolf on everyone. That doesn't sound like that was the case here. Callen may have an ingrained need to trust only his own instincts but he never put anyone on his team in danger. His first priority has always been to bring everyone home safely even at his own expense. This doesn't make sense." Nate stated.

"I agree, Nate. Unfortunately, his team does not."

Nate sat quietly absorbing the information before speaking again. He'd need to see the video, that was obvious. "The letter to Anna?" he asked referring to the other envelope.

"I have sent a message asking her to come here." Hetty replied.

"I see. When are you telling them that Callen has resigned?" Nate quarried as he glanced over towards the bullpen. Nell and Eric had since joined Sam and Kensi, "If you like, we could tell them now, while I'm here."

"Yes, I guess now is as good a time as any." With a sigh Hetty and Nate made their way over toward the bullpen.

"Morning Hetty." Sam greeted moodily, "Nate, when did you get back?"

"This morning. Just a brief lay over before I head out again." Nate replied as he leaned against Callen's desk.

"So what's up?" Nell asked sensing this was more than just a simple hello from their longtime friend.

Hetty cleared her throat before she began, "I received word today from Director Vance that Mr. Callen has officially resigned his position with NCIS."

Silence filled the space. Sam shot a glance towards Kensi who sat emotionless at her desk. Nell and Eric shared a brief look but said nothing.

"We just thought you should know. Effective immediately, Sam, you will take over as lead agent. I will be asking Anna to take Callen's place for now. Miss Blye, I expect you to be welcoming." Hetty stated, her tone plain and matter of fact.

"Of course, Hetty. So which agency is Callen going to now?" Kensi asked quietly, not able to look Hetty in the eye.

"I don't honestly know, Miss Blye. Director Vance was not forthcoming with that information. Though my guess, from what he did say… is that he is unsure as well. Only that he is no longer reachable." Hetty replied.

After a moment Sam finally responded to the news, "Hetty, it's for the best, really. This team has had his back for years and yet once again he did what he does best. He went lone wolf with no thought to how it would affect others. Only this time, it nearly cost Deeks his life. It's too dangerous having him on the team."

"Have who on the team?" Anna asked as she joined the group, completely unaware of the circumstances. "Hi guys" she added as she turned to Hetty, "What's up?"

"Hello dear, I'm afraid I have some bad news to share with you. Perhaps we should go to my office." Hetty offered.

"Um, no thank you. Just tell me now. Has something happened to Callen?" she asked looking between Hetty and Sam.

"Not in the sense that you are speaking. Mr. Callen has resigned from NCIS." Hetty explained.

"Resigned? When? Why?" Anna struggled to understand.

No one spoke for a moment.

Finally Anna asked again, "What has happened? Callen wouldn't have just left for no reason. He was happy here. Content. Someone answer me!" she demanded.

"Things went poorly on a mission he and Mr. Deeks were working on." Hetty began before Kensi spoke up.

"That's putting it lightly. He screwed up and nearly got Deeks killed!"

Anna looked at Kensi in disbelief and shock, "Is Marty okay?"

"He is now, but it could have gone either way. G ran off and left him" Sam answered, the anger unmistakable.

"That doesn't sound like him." Anna reasoned.

"Miss. Jones, perhaps you should play the video for Mr. Getz and Miss Kolchek." Hetty suggested.

Nell hated the idea of playing the video, yet again. Callen had been their friend. She just couldn't believe that he would simply leave Marty to fight alone. It wasn't right. It went against everything Callen had ever done in the past. Even when he went lone wolf, he never purposely put anyone he cared about in danger. In fact, it was quite the opposite and she hated that everyone was willing to just turn their backs on him.

As the video played back the events of that day, Anna watched as Callen backed away from Marty who was shot in the shoulder just moments before disappearing off screen, not to be see again.

"Is this the only shot?" Anna questioned.

"The only one we have been able to secure", Eric answered sadly. He looked up to Callen. He just couldn't believe that he would do this. While everyone thought Eric was just a conspiracy theorist, he was certain there was more to this than just this video and he wouldn't stop until he found it.

"Something is wrong. I need to speak with Callen" Anna said turning to leave.

"I'm afraid you won't find him, my dear." Hetty called, causing her to turn back.

"Why not? Where is he?" she demanded.

"I don't honestly know. He went to deliver his resignation to Director Vance and from there he seems to have vanished. Agent Gibbs team has been trying to find him but to no avail. All we do know is that he may very well have accepted the offer that has long been on the table. There is a letter on my desk for you. Perhaps he was more forthcoming with you." Hetty concluded.

Anna said nothing more as she headed to Hetty's office leaving the other to their thoughts.

Her heart ached as she opened the envelope. She'd never held any thought that they'd ever be more than what they were, friends… with benefits. Perhaps she wished for it more than she let on, but she was willing to accept it if this was all he could give. She understood his reasons. Removing the letter from the envelope, she unfolded it and began to read.

"Dear Anna" she read, "I wanted to speak to you in person but as of now, that isn't possible. There's nothing for me here anymore. You will find out soon enough if you haven't already… I won't blame you if you hate me, the rest of them do. You and I have talked about the fact that this was inevitable, regardless of the facts. Thank you… for being there. G. Callen

Slowly, she folded the letter and returned it to the envelope.

"Did our boy dare to tell you where he might be?" Hetty asked hopefully.

"No, I'm afraid not. His intentions were clear, however. He is done with NCIS and its members here." Anna spoke in a distracted whisper.

"I see." was Hetty's only answer.

"Hetty, surely you don't believe Callen would do what they are saying!" Anna stated while motioning to the bullpen.

"It is not a thought I relish. The video, I'm afraid, is very damning. Past experience would make some more convinced yet. As for me, I am uncertain what to believe. Mr. Callen has long been a lost soul. Always looking for something he may never find. However, in all his years working amongst the various agencies… he has never been accused of putting his teammates or partners in danger. If anything he frequently put himself in the line of fire to do just the opposite." Hetty replied.

"I understand their feelings, with Marty being hurt so badly. I just can't believe that even Sam would turn his back. He considered them family. What kind of family does this?" Anna asked in disbelief.


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER: NO, I do not own any of the lovely characters from NCIS LA. I do, however, own all the other characters rambling through the halls of this story. Should there be any resemblance to any person living or not... it is not intentional... nope strictly coincidental.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi there! Welcome back. Firstly, thank you for all who have read and reviewed. Thank you for supporting this story through your visits. I hope you know how much you are appreciated. A story doesn't truly come to life until it catches the imagination of it's reader. I hope my stories do that for you. Secondly, should you find snippets throughout the story that have you wondering... random details and the like... all of my stories are connected through those details. You don't have to read them to enjoy this one but if you find yourself wondering, feel free to go back and read those stories and review. OK, I guess that just about covers it... Enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think.**

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"Deeks. Welcome home." Sam greeted as he entered Kensi and Deeks home.

"Thanks Sam. Good to be home. 3 months plus in the hospital can drive a mad man insane. I don't know how Callen did it when he was shot. Mine wasn't near as bad" Marty stated as he eased himself down onto the couch.

"You nearly died, Deeks" Kensi exclaimed.

"I know. I'm guessing that's why Callen has yet to visit? I know it has to be bothering him." Deeks replied.

"It should bother him. He nearly got you killed and left you there to die." Sam growled.

Deeks looked between the two trying to make sense of the anger. He knew his memory was sketchy on the events of that day, but he found it impossible to believe Callen would behave as they suggested. As he went to question them, the doorbell rang and Hetty followed Deeks mother, Roberta into the living room.

"Hello Mr. Deeks. How are we?" She asked.

"Doing good Hetty. Doc said a few more weeks rest and I'll be good as new. I can't wait to get back to the beach…I mean work… get back to work… and…." Deeks answered.

"That's good to hear." Hetty grinned slightly, "How's the memory?"

"Still a bit foggy, I'm afraid. Doc says it will clear up eventually…fingers crossed on that." Deeks replied.

"Good, good. Director Vance will be wanting to speak with you when you are ready." Hetty said wile glancing at Kensi and Sam as a look passed between them.

"I'm sorry I can't remember what happened. I know Callen has to be beating himself up over this. Could you tell him to stop by, Hetty." Deeks asked.

Hetty glanced at Kensi with her brows raised but Kensi just looked down avoiding her gaze.

"What, what's that?" Deeks asked, looking between Hetty and Kensi.

"What's what, Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asked, again looking to Kensi.

"That. That there, that look." Deeks stated.

With a sigh, Hetty responded, "I am afraid I will be unable to pass your message along to Mr. Callen." She began.

"Why?" he asked, casting a questioning glance all around.

"He's on a mission." Sam answered giving Hetty a pointed look.

"Oh, not the same one, surely. We thought that would be finished up long before now." Deeks answered absently.

"No, Mr. Deeks, not the same mission. Are you remembering what happened?" Hetty asked curiously.

Deeks thought for a moment before shaking his head in frustration. No, sorry. So how long this time?" he asked.

"Indefinitely" Hetty lied.

"Oh… when he gets back then." Deeks replied, letting the unsettled feeling he had in the pit of his stomach pass on any more discussion until he could find the missing memories.

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"Arkady, tell me you were able to find something from your contacts." Anna stated as she accepted the drink from her father. Frustration was a fact of life anymore. Callen had been gone for the better part of five months now and still no one had been able to find out where he'd gone.

Marty, though now back to work, was still struggling with his memory. Anna had agreed to fill in as the team's fourth member, if only to stay connected should news of Callen come their way. Nell and Eric had both agreed to help her search but nothing surfaced.

"Well, Arkady? I haven't got all day!" The tension was evident in her voice.

"Okay, okay… I've asked around to all my contacts that know Callen. They offered nothing but the promise to keep me apprised." Arkady began.

"Damn it! Where is he? He can't just disappear without a trace." Her voice raised in anger and frustration.

"Then you have forgotten who we are talking about… because the Callen I know most definitely can." Arkady chuckled at the scowl on his daughter's face. "However, I did not stop there. There is word of a man who has become feared amongst the criminal elite… including our little war mongers wanting nothing more than to destroy this country. He slips in and out without real notice other than a dead body left in his wake. Word has it, he is a paid assassin… Paid by who though… I have heard tell, they call him "the Ghost""

"And you think this could be Callen?" Anna asked in shock. "That's impossible. Why would he do that? Callen would never change sides of the law.

"He has done a good job convincing those closest to him." Arkady surmised, "Here. I had… a friend… do a bit more checking into his last mission with the team. This is a copy of the missing videos. However, it will do little to dissuade your team from their present beliefs. Just remember, my dear Anna, things are not always as they appear. G. Callen is not what they believe him to be. I have known him a very long time and he deserves better from friends." Anna knew her father cared for Callen but was unprepared for the coldness in his voice at the mentioning of the NCIS team.

She held the USB drive in her hand just looking at it.

"Do with it what you will… just think carefully before you share what you find."

"Thank you, father." Anna said as she got up to leave.

"If this 'Ghost' is in fact our Callen… it is not a good thing" Arkady warned.

Callen closed and locked the door of his latest hotel. More of a hole in the wall, really. 'He should probably get something to eat,' he thought, but he was simply too tired to bother. His latest job took longer than expected. It was a fact finding mission, so no killing was required. That was a pleasant change. Still, he had spent the past three weeks cozied up to a bunch of arms dealers that left him wishing. He was finally done for a few days. He'd been going nonstop since he'd left NCIS. At first it was to dodge Gibbs and his team. He felt bad that he'd bugged out without talking to Gibbs first but he would have done his best to convince him to stay and it just wasn't an option this time. He was glad to be working again, so he didn't have time to think of what he'd lost. He'd kept tabs on them to make sure Marty was okay and to keep his promise to Michelle. He just couldn't believe they'd thought so little of him. With a sigh, he dropped his weary body onto his bedroll and let his thoughts drift away as he fell into what passed for sleep.

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Anna sat at her desk staring at the screen before her. Arkady hadn't lied when he said that what was there would do no more to change the minds of her teammates.

"What is that?" Sam's voice came from behind.

So caught up in her thoughts that she hadn't heard the morning arrival of the others. Slamming the computer shut and pulling the memory stick into the security of her own fist, she spun around to meet Sam's scowl. "Nothing, I was just working on something personal."

"Personal, huh? Sure looked like the same warehouse that Deeks was shot." Sam pushed.

Both Kensi and Deeks stopped what they were doing. "It's none of your business, Sam." Anna threw back.

"If it's about the shooting, it is all of our business." Kensi replied, her voice raising and catching Hetty's attention from her office.

"Come on guys, settle down. It's done and over with." Deeks said in an effort to make peace.

"OPS… Now." Came Hetty's voice from behind as she headed up the stairs expecting everyone to follow.

"Now, pray tell, what is this argument about?" Hetty asked, looking to Sam and Anna.

"It appears Anna has connections. She has a copy of footage from Deeks shooting from different angles." Sam stated never taking his eyes off Anna.

"How?" Eric asked. "We looked everywhere and found nothing."

"Is this true, Miss Kolchek?" Hetty asked.

Anna glanced around the room trying to decipher if the looks she saw were hopeful of something to clear their former friend and teammate or something to prove their judgmental attitudes were right, "Yes. Arkady was able to gain access to video files which were redacted. Don't ask me who, I don't know."

"May we see these videos?" Hetty asked quietly.

Against her better judgment, Anna handed the memory stick over to Nell. Nell knew by the look on Anna's face that it wasn't good. Within moments, they had watched not one, not two but three video's showing Deeks being shot twice. While that was found difficult enough, what else they saw not only shocked but angered everyone.

"He didn't!" Nell cried, "I can't believe he'd ever do such a thing!" She looked to Anna who stood stricken.

"What I want to know is how Internal Affairs could hide this and allow him to move on to yet another agency, knowing he turned on his own people!" Sam growled. He trusted Callen all these years. Believed he had his back. He never thought Callen, of all people, would go rogue and shoot one of his own team."

"No wonder he went into hiding." Kensi spat out in anger. She trusted Callen. Loved him like a brother… he had trained her! Now to think he could be so cold hearted as to shoot the man she planned to marry. "Why isn't he in jail?"

"Things aren't always what they seem" Anna argued growing angry with the hateful judgement of someone they called brother and friend once.

"Sometimes, Anna, they are exactly what they seem." Kensi yelled. "He turned on his own friends!"

Anna stepped closer, her voice low and threatening, "Let's just talk about who is turning on their friend. How easily you went from his friend to his accuser! This…" Anna pointed to the screen, "This is not my Callen. I don't know what was going on but he didn't just wake up and decide to turn on the people he trusted most! Fine, you sit here and judge him. Give up on him… but I refuse. I know him. This is not all there is. There is more to this and why we haven't been let in is beyond me but I will find out!" Anna spun on her heel to leave when Marty found the words to speak.

"Anna! Wait!" Marty called, stopping her in her tracks and catching everyone by surprise.


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAIMER: As far as I know... I still don't own any of the NCIS/NCIS LA characters, nope... I only own all the other characters popping up here and there. For the record, if any character resembles any persons alive or not so, is completely coincidental.**

 **AUTHOR NOTES: I am so thankful to all of you who are following, reading, and reviewing this story. Nothing makes my day like finding your reviews. Okay, so here comes the next chapter and here comes GIBBS! Please, read and review.**

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"Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asked noticing the determined look on his face."

"Yes, Callen shot me… but it's not what you think." Deeks chose one of the three videos and began walking them through the events of that day step by step.

"When we started the mission, it was with one directive. The directive that had been given to you, Hetty. However, a few days before this happened, Callen came to me and said the directives had changed."

"Who changed the directives?" Sam asked.

Marty grew still as he tried to remember, "Give me a minute… it will come to me. Everything is a bit of a jumble, coming at me all at once… Anyway, he told me things had changed and he was going to have to go deeper and to do that he needed to gain their trust. So we decided he would sell me out with the idea he would shoot me before they had the chance. He would be able to do a planned shoot so that it looked good without causing me much harm in the end. Best laid plans." Deeks said.

"Marty, you almost died! That's not okay." Kensi cried, "He nearly killed you!"

"Kensi, I know you were scared, but think this through… you know Callen. He is an excellent shot. We knew the risks. I was to explain when I got back… but that's when the second bullet showed up. Play the next video, Eric. Kensi, read his lips before he backs away."

Kensi watched as they played video… she watched carefully before asking Eric to replay it one more time. Following a small gasp, "I'm sorry…" Kensi whispered, "He said, I'm sorry." She turned to Marty, tears in her eyes.

"What you didn't see was Callen told me to drop and then took out the shooter behind me. If he hadn't, I wouldn't be standing here today… that shot would have done far more damage. Callen risked his cover to save me."

"Marty, are you sure?" Sam asked, I mean, your memories have been jumbled for a long time. Are you sure you aren't confusing facts with your loyalty to Callen? Look, I want to believe he's innocent too but things just don't add up here." Sam reasoned, "Why didn't Callen tell us this? He never said a word."

"Seriously, Sam?" Deeks asked in disbelief.

"Then who changed the directives? It obviously wasn't Hetty." Kensi asked, glancing at Hetty for confirmation.

After another few moments of silence Deeks head came up, "I'm pretty sure it was someone from the CIA. "He knew them… maybe he worked with them before? He was rather cryptic about who they were."

No one said anything at first.

Anna looked each person in the eye as she spoke, "Callen has always had your backs. He trusted you. Remember when you were accused of murder, Sam, and they had actual evidence against you… Callen never believed for a second that you were guilty. Even though Nate water boarded Callen and taunted him with his past, he still stood by him. There was never one time he thought you were guilty of anything you were accused of Hetty. He may have questioned the secrets you kept but he always believed in you. He stayed because he thought you felt the same." Anna turned and walked out.

"She's right. Callen was frequently frustrated by our intentions in caring about him and his happiness but he stayed and tried to make it work. We promised to always have his back… that his past would never change that because we knew the man he was. What changed in such a short span of time that would allow you to believe he could do this willingly?" Deeks shook his head and followed Anna out.

"Anna! Anna! "Deeks called out as he ran down the steps after her.

"What do you want Marty?" she asked as she turned back towards him.

"I want to tell you that you're right and I want to help you find him." He offered.

"Marty, I don't even know where to start." she admitted.

"Frankly, we need to figure out who was trying to poach him from NCIS all this time." Deeks stated.

"Maybe we can help." Nell and Eric came up behind them.

"Are you sure?" Anna asked.

"Positive. We're technical people. Even though our hearts say one thing our brains can't get past the technical proof quite so easily." Nell said softly.

Anna nodded in understanding. She could forgive them easier than the others because they lived their lives behind a screen. As an agent you were all too aware that things were never that straight forward or black and white. If she were honest with herself she could afford the same understanding to Sam and Kensi in the sense that Kensi was still relatively young in the business and all she knew was NCIS under the protective umbrella of one Hetty Lange. Sam had been a Navy Seal. To Sam everything was black and white. Michelle, being a career agent, tempered that between Callen and Sam. Callen never saw things as black and white, not even on good days. Recently he had confided in her that this was the hardest part of their friendship… that Sam made the job more complicated with this belief and that he frequently got on Callen for bending the lines of right and wrong when it was merely him doing the job as an agent. Michelle understood, but with her gone and Sam becoming more rigid in protecting his remaining family, both at home and at work, Callen was finding it harder and harder to do his job. Since the mole situation, Hetty had become more protective as well. Callen had said the fear of taking risks and chances made some situations more volatile and he couldn't work that way.

Even if they were able to find Callen, she feared there was no way he'd come back. If what Arkady said was true, Callen may not get the chance.

"So where do we start?" Eric asked.

"Wish I knew," Anna replied.

"We need to figure out what agency he's working for now." Marty suggested.

"Any idea how to do that?" Anna asked, "Last I heard he had his records locked. Every search I have done has turned up nothing… not even in NCIS. It's like he doesn't exist."

"It would be easier with Hetty's help" Nell stated.

"What about Gibbs? We could ask him." Deeks pointed out.

"That's a good idea, Marty" Anna suggested pulling her phone out. She tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for Gibbs to answer.

"Gibbs" the gruff voice carried over the line.

"Agent Gibbs. This is Anna Kolchek. I am a close friend of Callen's. I need to find him. Have you or your team found anything? Anything that might tell us where he is or who he is working for?"

"Hello, Miss Kolchek. Callen has mentioned you in the past. I'm sorry, I wish I had something to share but I'm afraid five months plus of searching and we are not a step closer. Callen's known as a ghost for a reason. We will see him only when and if he wants us to. I doubt seriously if that happens any time soon, thanks to that team there. You tell Hetty she has some explaining to do. Nothing better happen to him." Gibbs growled.

"Deeks remembered everything and set them straight. Nell, Eric and Deeks are helping me. Please, call me if you learn anything." Anna all but begged.

"Will do." Was all she heard before the line went dead.

"So nothing…" Deeks said expectantly.

"Nothing but Gibbs is very angry." Anna replied

"And I don't blame him one bit" Hetty's voice echoed from above.


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER: No, they still don't belong to me, how rude. That being said, if they are not members of team NCIS or NCIS LA, then they are, indeed, mine. Show any of said characters resemble a now living or not so much person... it is completely coincidental. Just sayin'.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hi everyone, may I just say THANK YOU, for all the incredibly kind reviews. Thank you for taking a chance on me and this story. I have had so much fun writing it. We are only just getting started here but I'm happy to say that I am finishing up the last chapter tonight. I was so excited that I decided to share that joy with you by posting another chapter tonight. YAY! Please read and review. I know sometimes it's easy to read and move on... and that is so very much appreciated, don't be afraid to stop in and say hi. Moving on...**

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They all looked up to find Hetty at the balcony outside the ops center, "I would appreciate it if you would all return to ops. We need to finish this discussion and I have been informed Director Vance will be calling shortly. He will wish to speak with you, I am sure, Mr. Deeks."

Nell and Eric started up the stairs while Deeks and Anna looked questioningly at each other before following behind.

"Anna, we will accomplish more as a team, if they're willing" Deeks said, hoping to keep her from running too. Like Callen, Anna had trust issues. He figured that is why she and Callen connected. Neither trusted easily outside their tight inner circle and neither believed long term relationships were real.

"They are not my team. I don't trust them, Marty… not anymore." Anna argued.

"Fair enough. Still, Nell and Eric are the best of the best at what they do… and we need to hear what Vance has to say." Deeks cajoled.

Anna couldn't afford to argue with his logic. "Fine, I will put aside my feelings for the moment."

Deeks only nodded as they made their way into ops.

"So, what else is there to say that hasn't already been said or implied?" Anna asked, a touch of acid in her voice.

"We can't change what has happened, but that doesn't need to stop us from working together to find the answers we need to resolve this issue." Hetty stated looking at each member of her team in turn.

"And what about you, Sam? Kensi? Do you admit you misjudged him?" Anna challenged.

"I don't know what to believe. I want to believe. Yes, they had a job to do, but Callen left Marty, knowing he was badly hurt. He should have stayed with him and screwed the mission."

"Then we both would have died. He would have compromised the mission, burned his own alias. They would have killed us and we would have put our country at danger… You know that's not how we work, Kensalina. As is, he had to convince them I had indeed died and their guy was caught in the crossfire. He was able to finish the mission. He kept their weapons from getting into the hands of terrorists." Deeks explained.

Sam said nothing. What could he say? He'd lost his brother that day. He still felt Callen took too many chances. Chances that could put their team at risk but now was not the time to hash that out.

"Director Vance on screen in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1" Eric counted down as the large screen lit up the darkened room.

"Leon" Hetty greeted, "Agent Gibbs"

"Hetty… Mr. Deeks, Agent Gibbs tells me you have your memory back. Is this true."

"Yes, sir." Deeks replied.

"So we are clear as to what happened that day?" Leon asked.

"Yes, Leon, which leads me to believe you knew all along and could have saved us all a lot of pain and anger." Hetty retorted.

"I highly doubt that, Miss Lange. Agent Callen had a mission to finish. That took precedence." Leon stated pointedly.

"So to hell with my team's dynamics?" Hetty replied hotly, "You could have informed us once the mission was over. You allowed my team to believe the worst."

"Your team's dynamics were obviously already an issue considering the turn of events." Gibbs finally spoke.

"Enough, we have bigger issues here." Vance said.

"What's going on, Director? Anna stepped forward, a sense of foreboding propelling her.

"We just received word from the Red team out of Georgia that they saw Callen briefly." They were in Russia. A member of another team had been missing and they were there for search and rescue… However, when they arrived they were met by the agent who was able to confirm it was Callen who had rescued them. This is not the first time this scenario has occurred. This time, however, he had been shot in the effort. According to the agent he was struggling by the time they got to safety but refused to go for help. Once he knew our agent was safe, he disappeared. Agent Callen has no back up. He is still considered an asset to NCIS whether it's with OSP or another team. I want him found and brought home. Understood?

"Callen prefers to do things on his own." Sam mumbled, receiving a glare from Anna.

"Leon, it would help if we knew who he was working for now." Hetty looked him in the eye.

"Callen had been courted by a special ops team for several years. Regardless of the numerous NOs they received from agent Callen, they persisted."

"The name, Leon" Hetty pushed.

After a glance toward Gibbs he turned back towards the screen.

"The Blackguard. They wanted him in the Renegades."

"Oh Hell, Leon! You let him go with them?" Gibbs yelled. "They'll get him killed. You know how messed up he was after the last time!"

"It was his decision. I tried to stop him but he insisted on a clean break from the OSP and its people..." Leon explained.

"Um, the Blackguard? Renegades?" Deeks asked.

"Oh, Bugger, I was afraid of this." Hetty said shaking her head.

"The Blackguard is a faction of the CIA. They do not play by the same rules as the rest of us. The Renegades are a chosen few. Best of the best." Leon explained.

"I heard stories from FLET-C of a group like that. I thought it was a myth." Kensi spoke in a whisper.

It did not go unnoticed by Hetty who turned to look at her, "Yes, well there was a time when you thought 'the Ghost', our own Mr. Callen was nothing more than a myth."

"There had been a similar group that had been disbanded before events of 9-11. After the terrorist attacks the president once again called the agency back to existence." Gibbs added.

"This is who was trying to poach Callen from us?" Sam asked, a knot forming in his stomach.

"They've wanted him for a long time. He dipped into that group when he originally worked for the CIA. It didn't end well." Gibbs growled.

"Then why would he go back now?" Anna asked.

"Because he was cornered. He had been blackballed until his last mission had been finalized and Deeks regained his memory. The CIA was the only other ones to know the mission other than Deeks. Since his own team didn't believe in his innocence… he had nowhere else to go." Gibbs growled.

"But you knew, didn't you Leon?" Hetty looked over the top of her glasses, lips pursed.

"I only suspected," Leon admitted, "Callen's debrief convinced me I was right."

"Too bad your team didn't come to the same conclusion." Gibbs sneered.

"So why can't we get a hold of him through them?" Eric asked.

Hetty's eyes never left Director Vance as she answered, "Because, they don't exist. Their entire venture is black op. They do what the other agencies cannot. They go after the unreachable. They answer to no one. They do what needs done by any means necessary."

"And the Renegades?" Deeks asked nervously.

"Government paid assassins." Hetty replied glancing briefly at her team.

"This is on you, Hetty. You and your team. Callen trusted you. For nearly ten years you have made him believe he'd found a home. He was finally content to stay put somewhere. Your team managed to botch it in one swift go." Gibbs yelled before disappearing from the screen and only a slam of a door could be heard.

Vance's gaze followed the sound before returning his attention to the matter at hand. "Keep your ear to the ground, Hetty. You hear anything, you call me immediately. Do we understand each other?"

"Yes, Leon."

"Very well, with the holidays upon us, I doubt much will be found and if he's injured, he'll be laying low. Enjoy your holidays. We'll touch base after the first of the year." With that the feed was cut. The strain between LA and Washington DC was palpable.

"Hetty, if Callen is hurt… who will he turn to for help?" Anna whispered.

"I'm afraid he is on his own. The Blackguard… Renegades especially… are on their own. They must use their own resources. They have no known identity to link them to the government. They have no one watching out for them. There is no one to save him from the enemy or himself." Hetty answered ominously.

"Lucky for us, Callen is resourceful… he knows how to survive." Deeks confidence seemed to lighten the weight of the situation.

"Leon is correct. We can do little until after the holidays." Hetty stated.

I'll put his picture in the facial recognition program to run… just in case." Eric offered.

"Very good, Mr. Beale." Hetty said.


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER: I wish... oh how I wish... but alas, they do not belong to me. I do own all other characters and should any of them appear to resemble any other person either living or not... it was not intentional and entirely coincidental.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for all the many kind words of support. Thank you for taking the time to read and then share your thoughts with me. It's so rewarding to know that not only do I enjoy writing it but others are enjoying reading it as well. So, I have OFFICIALLY written and finished the last chapter of this story. I have loads and loads to type in as I prefer pen to paper for the original writing and then and only then to I type it into the computer. That being said, all that remains to be done is edit and make any necessary changes as the characters start yapping for revisions to their actions... so that means I can update frequently. Well, here we go! Please Read and Review!**

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Christmas proved to be a somber affair. Sam had no desire to stay in their home full of memories of holidays past and the apartment he had moved into was not what one would consider… festive. That combined with the kids now missing their uncle Callen on top of their mother, he decided to leave town for the week. Nell and Eric left early to make time to visit both of their families. Kensi and Deeks decided to stay home and regroup after the stress of the past 6 months.

"Want to go for a walk on the beach?" Deeks asked over breakfast.

"No, I think I'll stay here and read. You go and take Monty. I'll be fine." Kensi answered.

"If you're sure. I won't be long." Deeks dropped a kiss on her cheek before heading out. "Come on Monty!" he called from the door. As he opened the door to step out he was taken by surprise when Hetty offered Christmas greetings.

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Deeks." Hetty greeted, "Have I come at a bad time?"

"Whoa, Hetty, you scared me!" Deeks tripped backward.

Hetty grinned, almost appearing pleased by the accomplishment, "I ask you again, is this a bad time for a visit?"

"What? Uh, no. I was just going to take Monty for a walk on the beach. It can wait. Come in. I'll put him out back and get Kensi. Would you like a drink?" Deeks asked.

"No thank you, Mr. Deeks." She replied as she sat on the end of the couch to wait.

"Hetty's here?" Kensi whispered. "Why?"

Deeks shrugged his shoulders. "We could be polite and go ask."

"Funny Deeks." Kensi grinned, giving him a playful shove as she walked past.

"Merry Christmas, Hetty."

"And you, Miss Blye. Was St. Nicholas kind to you this year?" Hetty replied kindly.

"He was… What brings you here? Is everything okay?"

"As much as it can be, dear. No, I have something I would like to show you both. Perhaps you could follow me and then go on to the beach afterwards?" Hetty suggested.

"Where, exactly, are we going?" Kensi asked.

"You will have to trust me. I realize trust is in short supply these days but I assure you, it is a good thing" Hetty said with a small smile.

Deeks agreed, though he couldn't help thinking how lost and sad Hetty looked for something that was to be such a good thing.

The drive quickly turned into a very familiar one, "Deeks, is it just me or is this the way to Callens?" Kensi asked.

"Yes it is. Do you think he's back?" Deeks asked equally confused.

"Well, if he is, I really doubt he'd be inviting me over for a visit" Kensi replied bitterly.

Deeks just shook his head as they pulled up in front of Callen's place, "Guess we will find out soon enough."

Climbing out of their car they moved to catch up with Hetty.

"Why are we here?" Kensi asked sharply taking both Hetty and Deeks by surprise.

"Well, Miss Blye… Mr. Deeks. It was to be a wedding gift but I decided now would be a better time." Hetty attempted to explain.

"What gift?" Deeks asked, completely lost.

"This…" Hetty explained motioning to the house then handing them the keys.

No less confused, Deeks took the keys as they walked to the house. "I don't understand." Deeks said as they approached the porch.

"What's not to understand? Callen thought it would make a good starter home and thought perhaps it would appeal to the both of you."

"What's he wanting for rent?" Deeks asked, "We were considering buying a place, actually."

Hetty tried to hide her exasperation at their stubborn refusal to accept it for what it was. Her heart was breaking inside. "Mr. Deeks, Miss Blye… Mr. Callen is offering this house as his wedding gift to you both. It is paid for and as he put it, has no further need of it. Walk through and look it over. Talk about it and if you are willing to accept it, I will have the deed transferred into your names. Now can we step inside?"

Both remained speechless, unbelieving as they entered the house.

Hetty felt a chill run through her as she thought of her boy out there alone and hurt.

"Oh wow" Deeks frowned as he looked at the broken glass on the floor. Bending down Kensi turned the broken frame over to show the picture within to be ripped up by the broken glass around it."

"My apologies. I should have come here first." Hetty offered before realizing she wasn't alone in her sad heartbreak.

"He left feeling completely abandoned." Kensi said so softly it was almost unheard. "Marty, we were no better than all those foster homes."

"Kenz, I'm sure he understood where you were coming from or he wouldn't have done this."

"Mr. Deeks is right, my dear."

"It doesn't matter, knowing what he was forced into." Kensi argued.

"We'll find him. We will make things right." Deeks pulled her into a hug as he looked to Hetty and then the picture they'd given him 2 years ago to the day.

"Well, I will leave you to it then." Hetty offered as a good-bye. "Should you decide to accept Mr. Callen's most generous offer, let me know and we will get the deed taken care of. I will have the house cleaned and touched up and pack his things into storage."

"Thank you, Hetty" Deeks answered.

Hetty said nothing more but simply closed the door behind her.

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Maybe he was getting to old for this line of work. It was a stupid mistake that got him shot. Truth was he had no business being there. But he knew he was one of Leon Vance's people and he also knew what would happen if he didn't step in. What was one more kill under his belt? Yes, he needed to be careful. Being caught in an unsanctioned mission would garner him no favors from the powers that be. It wasn't his first jaunt across that line since he'd begun working for The Blackguard. At this point he didn't much care. What he had wasn't so much a life as it was an existence… He figured it should probably concern him that the reason he took the job was more about testing Sam's theory. How ironic that his entire life seemed about breaking him and when he finally gives into the inevitability of it, he seemed to become indestructible. He knew taking the job that few lasted more than a couple years, either quitting from the stress, injury or dying. At this point it wasn't even a worry. A cruel childhood had gone a long way in training him to seemingly vanish, become a ghost. Perhaps it taught him too well. However, this time they recognized him. So he knew Gibbs team would be back at it. He needed to move on but the energy wasn't there. He'd managed to get the wound treated and stitched but it still became infected and while the antibiotics were working, he just wasn't bouncing back as fast as he'd like. He'd already received his next job and thankfully it was a simple in and out.

So here he sat in the very same coffee shop his father had frequented. The picture attesting to the fact still hung on the wall. It was a dirty business he found himself in… not one where you could find redemption from. It was Christmas Day and while most people would be opening gifts and attending family dinners, he was preparing to play the role of Grim Reaper. At least he didn't play with his prey. He made it as simple as possible. The less painful and obvious, the easier the getaway. Today's was a leader of a terrorist group preparing to enter the states. Taking the leader out allowed the awaiting team to take out the rest. Thankfully, he was not required to interrogate first. He wasn't up for that. Those were the jobs that stayed with him.

Once his target entered and ordered, it was merely necessary to deliver a few drops of the tasteless poison in passing between counter and table. By the time he collapsed, Callen would be long gone.

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"So, Mr. Deeks. Have you decided? Will you and Miss Blye be changing your address?" Hetty asked as she looked up from her desk to find Deeks approaching.

"Under one condition." Deeks said softly, brushing the hair out of his eyes.

"Mhm. What condition would that be?" Hetty asked with her brows raised.

"That we don't change the deed until we are sure Callen won't come back." Deeks stated noticing Hetty's shoulders relax and her facial expression soften.

"Fair enough. I think that can be managed. However, it is sitting empty. It needs to be maintained. I would consider it a favor if you'd think about staying there until such time as he comes home or not. We will consider up keep and property improvement in exchange for rent."

"Deal" Deeks agreed taking her hand.

"Well now…that's settled." Hetty smiled. "Now, shoo, off with you. There is work to do."


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER: Let's be quick... we have bigger fish to fry. No, they don't belong to me but all the extra characters most certainly do. No intentional resemblance to living or not so much so real people.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: PLEASE READ... ok. Wow! You all have been awesome with your praise and support. I am so thankful to you for reading and reviewing. I decided to post another chapter this weekend. I have seen a lot of concern being shown for Callen's welfare and anger for the team. Yay! As it should be. However, remember this... not everything is easily cleared up like they are in the hour we are allowed each week on T.V. The luxury of fanfiction offers us the ability to really let the team have their time to work these things out proper. Sometimes, stubbornness, pride, and hurt makes resolving issues a bit tougher... not impossible... but then where would the fun be in that? Do NOT lose heart. We have a long way to go and through it we will see them all struggle with their choices, grow through their pain, and grapple with the solutions. Please stay with me... continue to read and review. Trust me, I won't destroy Callen. HA OK, Well enjoy your day and this next chapter.**

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"Gibbs!" Anna greeted upon seeing their visitor from the DC office.

"Anna, how are you?" he greeted with a brief hug and a kiss to the cheek.

"I'm fine." She lied. Another 5 months had passed and still no word from Callen.

Both Gibbs and Anna had taken their time off to chase leads. A few times they had gotten close but they always missed him. Soon the leads dried up. Gibbs chose to see it as a sign that Callen had finally recovered fully from his injuries. As the new year started, their caseloads took precedence. It surprised Gibbs how well Callen could hide in plain sight. However, it was always out of the country. Could he be as successful in those attempts on his home soil? Callen never seemed to realize just how many people he connected with while working with the OSP. They were all on the lookout. Arkady had his contacts in Europe on the hunt as well. Still nothing.

"So, what brings you to LA?" Anna asked. She and Gibbs had become close friends in past months, each understanding the importance the other played in Callen's life.

"A case. Greedy Marine officer selling information to the highest bidder. Russia in this case. He went AWOL the other day. The leads led us here." Gibbs replied.

"Why not just send the case to us?" Sam asked.

Gibbs had yet to reconcile with the LA team, especially Sam. "We believe the meet will take place here. We can't allow this transfer to take place. The information this marine is carrying is vital to our national security. The individuals he is selling to are new to our radar and we don't have time to figure out their endgame. Our job is to merely retrieve the information. They'll deal with our Russian buyer later."

"So what do you need us to do?" Anna asked.

"The meet is for the day after tomorrow. 3:00 p.m. Our intel gave us this address. Have your people find the cameras in the area. Map it out so there is no chance for them to escape."

"We can do that. Eric and Nell are the best." Kensi accepted the address and turned to call Eric.

"So Callen has said." Gibbs replied without malice. "When are you and Deeks getting married?

"Next month, actually. I had hoped Callen would have been in contact so I could talk to him… but it's not looking like that is going to happen." Deeks replied.

"Well, congratulation." Gibbs offered.

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He'd missed the sun and warmth of LA. However, being back for the first time in nearly a year… it was risky. He knew there was a real likelihood that this was their case he was called in on. Last thing he wanted was to deal with them and their judgmental attitude towards his life choices. He wasn't so sure he was necessarily thrilled with his own choices regarding his latest employment. At the time it was the best option but truth was, it was already wearing thin. He was tired and his collection of nightmares keeping him from any form of restful sleep had grown exponentially over the past year. He needed to escape everything for a while. After this job was finished he would take that break. Where to and do what, he didn't know. He never was one to socialize and after a year on his own, doing what was required of him… dealing with the worst of the worst, he didn't feel worthy of sitting down with decent people. When he really took time to think it through, which wasn't often, he wasn't much above the very evil he battled. There was no reason in dwelling. What's done was done. Perhaps time off was not such a good idea. For now, though, he had a job to do and he needed to get things in place. Despite his issues with the OSP team, they were good and he needed to ensure as little interference as possible.

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"Everything is up and running." Eric announced as the team prepared to head out.

"Good. Keep your eyes on those cameras." Gibbs ordered.

"Yes, sir" Eric replied.

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Time was running short. The Russian had proved… difficult. He'd brought friends. Not unexpected really, just more of an annoyance. He would have to alert someone so they could clean up the mess he'd left behind. He applied the last layer of gauze to his side and taped it. The knife wound hadn't appeared to hit anything major but had caused more than enough blood loss to slow him down. He quickly dressed and grabbed the duffel carrying his extra supplies he'd no doubt need later. Looking at himself in the mirror to assure all was as it should be, he closed his eyes and after a few deep breaths he opened his eyes to find not the reflection of G. Callen but of Alexei Volkov, Russian mobster. He was met with cursing from the real Alexei which was quickly handled with a well-placed punch and a gag to assure he remained quiet until his return. Taking a moment to relax his breathing from the pain caused by the effort, he locked the door and stepped out into the bright California sun. The drive was a short one in all reality, but he had to redirect to avoid detection. He walked a short distance before meeting the taxi to take him to the waiting limo. Thirty minutes later he found himself in the same warehouse district. Within the hour the area would be crawling with agents and police. He needed to get in and get out.

He knew there would be some less than happy tech operators once they realized he'd hacked into their system and changed the meet time to 3:00. He glanced at his watch, 1:30. It wouldn't be long he thought as he watched the mark get out of his car and approach the limo. Callen stepped out and straightened his tie and jacket as he waited. Speaking with a thick Russian accent he addressed the new comer. "You bring the information?"

"You bring the money?" was the response.

Callen seethed inside. He had no use for traitors, "First the USB Drive." Callen pulled a laptop out of the back of the car and placed it on the hood. Reluctantly the marine handed it over to Callen as he looked around nervously. Callen smiled inwardly, pleased with traitor's discomfort and was more than happy to be the one to bring him down for his disloyalty.

"It's all there! Now give me the money!" the marine growled. The relief he felt as he saw Callen reach into his jacket for what he presumed was the money was short lived. What came out was instead a gun quickly aimed at his head. "What the… we had a deal!" he yelled.

"Well, you may have had a deal with one Alexei Volkov… However, he is temporarily unavailable. So now it's just you and me." Callen said as he grabbed the computer and tossed it into the car. He wasn't prepared for the desperate marine to lunge him, slamming the door into him and knocking him off balance. Callen would later place the blame on the earlier blood loss. An injury that was now creating a weakness in a fight he would refuse to lose. Not an option. Blocking the pain if only for the moment, Callen quickly rebounded.

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"Oh no!" Eric breathed.

"What is it, Eric?" Nell asked worriedly.

"Get Hetty up here now!" Eric ordered as he turned the coms on to speak with the team now in route to the meeting. "Gibbs!"

"You don't have to yell, Eric. What is it?" Gibbs growled.

"Sorry, the meeting is taking place now!"

"Intel said 3:00!" Anna stated.

"Intel was wrong. But that's not all. They are fighting. Be careful guys. You're going in hot." Eric warned.

Silence fell as the news sunk in before Gibbs ordered Anna to step on it. "Damn it, I should have known." He said more to himself than to anyone else.

They pulled into the parking lot in time to catch the end of the fight. Gibbs and Anna were first out of the car, guns pulled.

Callen's gun was trained on the now beaten marine. Giving him one final kick he readied himself to acknowledge his visitors, never lowering his gun, finger on the trigger.

"Put your gun down and your hands up." Sam yelled before Callen slowly raised his hands, gun still at the ready. Anna sucked in her breath as the person who turned to face them was not the Russian they were expecting, but their former leader and friend.

"Callen" Anna breathed softly.

It took everything in him not to look her in the eye.

"The USB drive" Gibbs stated ever in control, despite his emotions.

Callen gave his trademark smirk as he lowered his hands to reach inside his jacket and pulled out the drive. As he went to toss it to Gibbs, he caught the marine's movement in his periphery. Immediately changing course he spun on his prisoner and quickly subdued him with his forearm pressed into his neck and the gun to his head.

"Go ahead, push me!" Callen hissed, "I will not think twice about putting a bullet in your brain… Was it worth it? Was it worth selling out your country?"

The marine fell silent as he faced off with his attacker. One look at his face and he knew he'd do what he threatened.

"Hey!" Gibbs called in an effort to distract Callen from his target without giving away his identity.

Just as quickly his gun swung towards the newcomers. He had a role to play. "Stay put" Gibbs froze, eyes always on Callen. Grabbing the collar of the marine he pushed him backwards toward the agents. Pointing his gun once again, "Pray we never meet again or I will finish what we've started." Callen threatened. With that, he tossed the drive to Gibbs. Gibbs was shocked at the coldness he saw in the man's stare. Callen narrowed his eyes, his jaw clenched. Without so much as a look towards the other members, he turned and walked back to his car and climbed in aware of how unsteady his gate must have appeared. As he pulled away he lowered the window just enough to allow his gaze to meet with Anna. What she saw frightened her.

The limo quickly worked its way into the business district where it pulled into a parking garage, allowing Callen enough time to change clothes. Moments later he was back on the road riding a Harley he'd parked there earlier in the day. Doing his best to dodge cameras, he eventually melded in with everyone else on the street where he then took a taxi back to where he started.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Sigh... as I have said the eight times before, the beloved characters of NCIS/NCIS LA do not belong to me... no matter how much I may wish. However, I do own all the other characters encountered here. Should any of said character resemble anyone living or not... it is entirely coincidental.**

 **Author's Notes: Hey, hey, hey! Welcome back! I am every so grateful for all the many reviews and certainly all the readers. I can't begin to tell you what a treat it is to get those reviews and to see the number of readers. Life gets tough sometimes and being able to get that beep on my phone that says "Hey, you have a review" just makes my day... So thank you! Well, it's time to check in with our favorite characters. Remember, it's not always what it seems. People struggle, they grow, the learn. Things never stay the same... always changing. Never give up... never lose hope.**

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"He's been hurt again." Anna stated with concern etched on her face.

"I saw that, too" Gibbs replied as he watched the others getting the marine back on his feet and cuffed, "I'm not liking what I'm seeing. He's losing himself."

Anna could only nod her agreement. The look in his eyes were those of someone resigned. The Callen she knew never gave up... never lost hope. The Callen she saw through that window had the very look of someone who had done both and it broke her heart.

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"He looked exhausted" Kensi said quietly to no one in particular.

"He was bleeding. I wonder when that happened." Deeks added

"I don't know but Gibbs and Anna are worried." Kensi replied as she glanced back over her shoulder. "Sam doesn't even seem fazed by seeing him after all this time."

"Because he still thinks Callen crossed a line that day by leaving me there. He sure as hell has to be struggling with the knowledge of what he does now. I'm not so sure I can reconcile with it, myself." Deeks admitted.

"The Callen we know wouldn't have done this if he'd had any other choice. This is on us… Sam, Hetty, and me. I just wish I knew how to fix it." Kensi sighed.

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Sam stewed silently. He knew he was being unfair. He saw the look in Callen's eyes. The fact he avoided looking at his whole team spoke volumes for where his head was at. He saw his brother flailing and he did nothing to stop it... to stop him. He just couldn't believe that despite what happened between them that he would allow himself to go down this path. He knew there was a darkness in Callen that he fought to control. He knew why that darkness was there. Still, what he was doing now... that wasn't his brother. He wasn't sure who it was. As much as he wanted to save him... he just didn't know if he could go back to what once was, or if it was even possible at this point. Shaking his head he focused his thoughts on the case in front of them.

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"Eric, what have we got?" Gibbs asked after they returned from interrogating the marine. It took little encouragement after his brief time with Callen. Callen had him so scared he would have admitted to anything just to make sure he never had to see him again. Gibbs hated what Callen was forcing himself to endure but he had to admit... he was good at it.

"Not much, I'm afraid. The limo went into a garage and moments later pulled back out. It went to the airport but Callen was no longer inside. I went back and followed every vehicle leaving the garage about the same time but ultimately it turned up nothing. Sorry Gibbs" Eric answered. He hated the fact that he had to disappoint the only man he figured stood a chance of getting Callen to come back.

"Damn it, Callen" Gibbs replied as he turned to leave.

"Gibbs, we need to find him." Anna nearly begged.

"I know. I'm just running out of ideas." Frustration evident from the normally controlled agent. Just as he was preparing to leave, he pulled out his phone and looked at the message. "Son of a…." Gibbs mumbled, "Anna, with me."

The drive to the address he'd found on his phone was a silent one. As they walked into the building, Anna was taken by surprise at what lay before them. "I can't believe he was here the whole time we were out there." Anna said.

"I can." Gibbs gave a humorless chuckle.

They were both stopped cold by the sight.

"Oh my…" Anna whispered. She was no stranger to the world of torture, knowing who her father was... she just never envisioned Callen ever doing such a thing.

"Damn…" Gibbs added equally shocked.

"Callen couldn't have done this, could he?" Anna stared in shock at the Russian, clearly tortured before he was put out of his misery.

"Anna, this is not the same Callen we knew." Gibbs explained as he took in the remaining area. "This is about survival. Somewhere in that brain of his is the Callen we all know, tucked behind some protective wall he's created… this type of job can destroy you. Strip you of your soul… and the longer he stays, the less likely he'll survive it. What you see here, is what is required of him. They wanted to know what this guy knew and it was his job to get that information no matter what."

"How do we get him out?" Anna asked.

"I wish I knew. It's hard to tell when he'll surface again. Until then, this here? It stays between us. Leon is taking care of the body. It will be flown back to Washington DC for Ducky to examine.

"Understood." Anna agreed.

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The job was done. It wasn't as clean as usual but Jethro would see to it this time. He was getting sloppy. If he didn't take a break soon, he was going to make a mistake he couldn't come back from. Perhaps he'd stay close for a few days. Let his wound heal, get back his strength. Maybe hit the beach. He missed just sitting on the beach. The water always calmed him. He needed that… now more than ever. Shooting a quick message to his superiors he put his phone on the bedside table and lay back hoping for a few hours of sleep before the nightmares claimed him.

He'd spent three weeks in the shadows of LA and Callen was back to working condition. He knew Anna and Jethro had looked for him the first week until Jethro had to head back and Anna had to help Kensi with the wedding. He would stay long enough to see that it went off without a hitch. Bad things always seemed to happen at their happiest moments and he wanted more for Kensi. He wanted her and Marty to have the perfect day…

While he had a bit more freedom with everyone busy planning and preparing for the wedding, he knew he had to be careful, watchful of cameras. He took the opportunity to wander the streets late at night when sleep escaped him. He walked along the water's edge in hopes of soothing his anxious thoughts. He watched over them... Always watching... he would keep them safe. It was all he could do now.

A week later he found himself perched far enough away that he could watch the wedding without being seen… he was not surprised they'd had it on the beach. It was a beautiful day for it. Kensi was beautiful with her long black hair draping down her back against the stark white of her dress. He was almost sorry he couldn't be a part of it. It was so long in the making… but he knew it wasn't something they would have wanted. Truth was… as much as he still cared for them… he couldn't get past how it all ended. So he would sit here and watch and wait…

It was during the ceremony when he received the message that he had been dreading. His new mission. He missed looking forward to going to work. If he were totally honest, he missed being able to relax even slightly because someone had his back. He missed Nell and Eric's abilities on all things tech. Yes, he could do it all himself, but once in a while it would be nice not to. Most of all, he missed the days when having a case to work on did not require torture and killing.

Looking at his phone he read the message and sighed knowing it was time to go. He took one last look as the party below began to break up and headed back to his room to pack his few belongings and head out.


	10. Chapter 10

**DISCLAIMER: Nope, they aren't mine... at least not any of the NCIS LA characters. I do, however, own all the crazy little characters popping up throughout. Should they even remotely appear familiar to someone who is living or ... it is entirely by coincidence.**

 **AUTHOR NOTES: Hi! Thank you so much for all the lovely and supportive reviews. I try to respond to everyone who reviews... to the unnamed guests who leave reviews, thank you. "Skippy" Thank you so much! I appreciate every reader and review. I have to give a shout out to "countrygirluk56" for the 'great minds think alike' moment. It appears we both chose the name Andrei Petrescu for a character. Of all the names...**

 **I know you are all very concerned for Callen. I know it seems so intense and hopeless. All I can say is, don't lose hope... Give them time to figure this out. It will be well worth the ride.**

 **Okay, here we go! Chapter 10. A bit longer than the norm...so Bonus? Please stop by and let me know what you are thinking! I would love to know. So go ahead, read and review.**

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Eric kept facial rec going but no one ever expected much to come from it. They were facing nearly two years since he'd left. Aside from the rare sighting, he'd not been back.

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"Deeks, Kensi, back door. Anna and I will take the front. We need one alive." Sam looked pointedly at Anna.

"You look at me?" Anna stated feigning shock.

"Yes, you." Sam grinned. "On three."

Sam kicked in the door and Anna ran ahead as they cleared the rooms one at a time. When Sam hadn't heard from Anna who had gone upstairs he followed only to hear the sound of gunfire. Running up the stairs they found her lying on the floor, the window open and the shooter gone.

Eric, we need an ambulance, Anna's down!" Sam yelled into coms.

Deeks, Kensi, Sam and Hetty sat huddled in one corner of the waiting room while Arkady had chosen to sit by himself with his body guards every vigilant to their surroundings. As they awaited word from the doctors, Arkady, never one happy to sit still, looked around anxiously. His eyes settled on a now darkened corner of the room nearly blocked from sight of the rest of the group. After several moments of debate, he sent one of his men to get some coffee. Before slowly working his way toward the figure that paced nervously like a wild animal. As he moved closer his bodyguards moved effectively blocking his escape.

"I knew you couldn't stay away from my Anna" Arkady's Russian accent a near whisper.

"Walk away, Arkady." Callen hissed, his focus on the four people across the room.

"Is this how you treat friends now?" Arkady chuckled.

"I don't have friends… not anymore." Callen growled, ready to run when Arkady's man walked up with two cups of coffee.

"Perhaps I should have had him get tea… more relaxing, no?" he stated as he handed a cup to Callen, "When have you last eaten or slept, my friend? Never mind. Why don't you go to my place and get something decent to eat and maybe some sleep while you're at it. I will send news when there is word." Arkady said with an appraising look of the man in front of him.

Callen considered arguing but the longer he stayed, the more likely he'd be seen. Finally he agreed… to leave. With the help of Arkady's bodyguards blocking their view, Callen was able to slip out relatively unseen.

Sitting back down, Hetty was quick to ask, "Another visitor, Arkady? Anyone we know?"

"No Henrietta. No one you'd recognize" He stated cryptically.

Hetty raised her brows in response but said no more.

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"Hey there" Sam said softly as he entered Anna's room. Arkady had been first to see her before excusing himself allowing her team to visit.

"Hey Sam." She greeted between yawns, "Hello, Hetty"

"How are you feeling, deary?" Hetty asked cheerfully.

"I'm fine. The doctor says I'm lucky. The bullet didn't do much damage. A few weeks and I'll be good as new." She replied.

"mhm, you were very lucky, indeed. Do you remember what happened?" Hetty asked.

"We had cleared the rest of the house. I was first to go upstairs. He took me by surprise…" Anna was quiet for a moment.

"What is it dear?" Hetty asked, concerned by the look of fear that crossed the young woman's face.

Anna debated a moment as she looked from Sam back to Hetty. "I wasn't just lucky… It was meant as a message… for Callen."

"For Callen?" Sam growled. "Now what's he gotten himself into?"

"He said it was from Mihai Comescu." Anna replied, staring straight into Sam's eyes. "This has nothing to do with what Callen has `gotten himself into'… unless you call being born his fault" Sam broke away from her stare… he was so angry and tired of constantly losing people he cared about or coming close to losing them… in the end, while not by death, he still lost not only his best friend but his brother. It was a loss that was only out pained by the loss of his wife Michelle. The only difference was he was a part of the cause for Callen's leaving. Unfortunately, he couldn't seem to stop being mad at Callen for not being able to see beyond the job in order to put those he cared about first… the job be hanged.

"Oh, bugger!" Hetty sighed, shaking her head.

"So, this was his way of calling him out. Why you though? Callen's been gone nearly two years." Sam asked more to himself than anyone else. Two years… he missed his friend. He'd even go so far as to say he missed the candy wrappers in his car. Callen had always left them behind for Sam to fold into any number of things later when they'd be stuck on a stake out. He'd say he didn't miss the constant concern for his safety but then that would be a lie. The only difference… he wasn't there to have his back. Still, Callen wasn't the only one who had a write to be angry. Callen left… he left the team, his brother, and most importantly… he abandoned Aiden and Kamran when they needed their uncle most.

"Anna took Mr. Callen's place." Hetty surmised.

What makes him think this will work? We don't even know where Callen is." Sam replied.

"Have you told Arkady?" Hetty looked to Anna.

"No, are you crazy? He's impossible on a good day." Anna responded as a slight grin graced her face.

Sam chuckled as Hetty replied, seemingly distracted, "Indeed"

"I'll have Deeks and Kensi stand guard tonight." Sam said as he headed for the door.

"If you will be okay for a moment, I will call Eric and Nell to see what they have found on Cameras." Hetty told Anna who was slowly losing her battle against the pain medicine.

"I'm fine, Hetty." Anna assured her, "Arkady will be back soon."

"Very well, we will be back shortly." Hetty pat her hand gently before taking her leave.

Anna closed her eyes and was soon asleep, completely unaware of her next visitor. Callen stood there watching her. He'd already tapped into the system to read her file. He knew she'd be okay. He was tempted to wake her but then thought he would maybe leave a note, until Arkady came in smiling. "My Anna is a beauty, yes?"

"Yes" Callen answered simply.

"Do you love her?" Arkady asked equally matter of fact.

"Does it matter?" Callen replied, walking to the window.

"Perhaps, for her it might." He answered.

"Don't Arkady. That chance has long since vanished. She wouldn't want me now, anyway." Callen finished softly, dropping his head down briefly before lifting his eyes back to the view out the window.

Arkady chuckled as he squeezed Anna's hand lightly before going to stand near Callen. "You, my friend, under estimate her feelings for you."

"Arkady, not now. If anything you should protect her from me. She deserves better." Callen stated. After everything he'd done the past two years, the enemies he'd made… he would never put someone in the position of constant danger.

"You got that right!" Sam said standing by the door, Hetty by his side. Kensi and Deeks, who were stationed outside the door, peeked in.

Callen swung around, gun pulled, to face his old partner. Sam couldn't help but be shocked by the cold look in Callen's eyes. He knew they probably deserved some of it but this went beyond just being angry. This came from somewhere deep inside. It was as if every bit of trust he ever held for them or anyone was just gone. It hurt him to realize he could no longer read him…

Arkady put a hand on Callen's arm. He could feel the muscles tensing beneath his fingers… sense the nervous energy radiating from him. Once he lowered the gun Arkady gave him a reassuring clap on the back. The instant stiffening of his shoulders and clench of his jaw did not go unnoticed.

"Are you hurt, Mr. Callen." Hetty asked.

Callen slowly put his gun back in its holster as his icy stare moved to his old boss, "I'm fine."

"That's not what I asked." She tried again, her concern growing.

"It will have to do." Callen retorted coldly.

"Seriously Callen? Still a stubborn ass. How dare someone show you any concern. Bet your boss now doesn't care if you are hurt or not, so long as the job's done, huh? How's it feel, no one having your back?" Now wasn't the time to get into it all but at nearly two years gone he couldn't stop himself. Truth was, he didn't really know how he felt about Callen… angry, worried, sorry, all the above? What he did realize, too late, was that the Callen he knew and the Callen before him were two different people. While the prior had control and patience. This one did not.

"I'm no longer any of your concern. As for who has my back? You gave up that right as well. So keep your judgments to yourself. I'm not the least bit interested." Callen growled, his body tense and ready.

"Callen?" A soft voice called from behind. Callen immediately stilled before turning to face Anna, now wide awake.

She put her hand out, beckoning him to take it but slowly let it fall to her side when he refused. "Did Hetty say you were hurt, Callen" She asked.

"It's nothing. Just part of the job." Callen shrugged before he could stop himself but quickly schooled his facial features to hide the pain it had caused. "I should go. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"How did you find out?" Anna asked curiously.

"I was here for a job." He let it go at that.

"There's something you need to know." Hetty began when Nell and Eric joined them.

"Hetty, I think we've figured… Oh… Callen" Eric stopped in his tracks.

"Hi Callen" Nell greeted, surprised.

"Nell" was all he responded. He couldn't help be amused by the way Eric tilted his head upon seeing him… like a puppy who just heard his favorite word.

Eric looked back to Hetty, not sure if he should continue.

"Go on, Mr. Beale. Mr. Callen has a right to know." Hetty ordered, "and be quick, dear. Mr. Callen was preparing to leave."

"Right, well, we ran facial rec on the man we believe shot Anna." This caught everyone's attention, especially Callen's.

"Who was it?" Deeks asked.

"Oh, yeah, Andrei Petrescu"

"You know that name, G?" Sam asked.

Having not heard anyone call him by that in so long, Callen didn't respond at first, "G!" Sam said louder before Callen finally paid attention.

"What? No, why should it?" Callen asked, his voice tight.

"Because he knows you? Sam answered. "Busy making new enemies?"

Callen's eyes seemed to darken to a cobalt blue, his voice threatening, "They have to be alive to be enemies."

Eric swallowed then cleared his throat. "Actually, it's an old enemy. Well, family of an old enemy."

"Spit it out, Eric" Callen growled.

"Comescus… they're back. Seems there's an unending supply to pick up where they left off." Eric replied.

Arkady rolled his eyes to the ceiling. He knew what this feud had done to the son of his dear friend and every time they thought he could finally move on something always happened to send him either running head long into danger or running into the shadows. Now, between what had happened within the team and this… he was doing both.

"Comescu…" Callen hissed, "Will they never stay dead" he paced what little space the crowded room allowed.

"Andrei Petrescu is the grandson of Alexi but he was sent by his cousin, Mihai Comescu" Eric explained.

"Of course he was." Deeks groaned, reliving the memory of their trip to Romania… that had really sent Callen down a dark road. He hated to think what this was going to do to him. He was far more volatile than he had ever been before.

"Do we have any idea where they are now?" Hetty asked.

"No, we lost them shortly after leaving the house. Sorry" Eric apologized.

Callen was seething. No matter how many they killed, they just kept coming back. If he had questioned the validity of his leaving NCIS, which he hadn't, but if he had, this changed everything.

"Callen, where are you going boy?" Arkady asked as he felt more than saw his intent to leave.

"None of your business, Arkady." Callen turned to shake his hand, "Take care of her." He spoke softly.

"You are in no shape for battle, my friend." Arkady replied.

"I'm fine for what needs done." Callen said lowly.

Turning to leave, Sam stepped in his path.

"Get out of my way, Sam" Callen warned. He was beginning to feel cornered and claustrophobic. This was probably the longest real conversation, off the job, that he'd had in the past few years on his own.

"Can't do that, buddy." Sam stated evenly.

"Let's get one thing straight, I'm a lot of things… your buddy isn't one of them. Now, I'm going to tell you one more time to get out of my way." Callen's voice deepened with the unspoken threat.

"Why? So you can go off half-cocked and get yourself killed? Can't do that." Sam replied, "Your feud with these people keeps putting you and the people around you in harm's way."

"All the more reason for you to step aside" Callen stated.

"Anna and Arkady like you for whatever reason and they would not be happy if I let you go get yourself hurt or worse." Sam said firmly holding his ground.

Callen's whole demeanor changed right before their eyes. "Don't do this Sam. This is none of your business."

"I'm making it my business. They came after my team." Sam braced himself mentally for Callen's response.

His eyes narrowed, his jaw clinched. Tired of all the battles. He was just plain tired, to be brutally honest. The risk of injury was great on this job but lately it was happening more and more. At the moment he simply wanted to go somewhere shut off from the rest of the world and heal. However, thanks to his family's blood feud, that wasn't going to happen now. He wasn't entirely sure when it happened but anger and hate seemed to be at a constant boil beneath the surface like an itch that needed scratched and at the moment it was begging. He needed out of there. He needed to think… to plan. He needed to see that the comescu's were put down… for good.

Sam could see it in his eyes, the cold stare that sent a chill through him. Before he could react, Callen had him pushed to the wall with a force Sam didn't realize Callen had. Two years on his own had done more than sharpened his senses, which were already hyper vigilant… but he'd added muscle and new moves to his arsenal.

"Understand this… my business is not YOUR business anymore. You gave up that privilege a long time ago." Callen hissed.

"Okey Dokey, Okey Dokey," Arkady spoke up. "Come, my friend, we will go get some air." He went to put a hand on Callen's shoulder when he saw him tense and pulled them up in a sign of surrender.

"Anna, you will be good while I take our friend to get some food, yes?"

"I'll be fine, Arkady. Just make sure he comes back."

"Come Callen" Arkady motioned Deeks and Kensi away from the door.

Callen looked Sam in the eye, giving him another shove before turning to Hetty, "You'll call your team off if you know what's good for them."

"Mr. Hanna is correct, Mr. Callen. They came after our team. Our family. They have every right to be involved. You cannot do this alone, my dear boy. We know what lengths they will go to." Hetty replied, wishing as always that he would realize that he was part of that family… that team… despite recent and not so recent mistakes.

"Their rights ended when Petrescu claimed the message was mine. So do yourself a favor. Keep your precious family at home. You underestimate my abilities, my sense of self preservation. You always have. Walk away while you still can." Callen's demand left no room for argument. One that Sam didn't heed.

"So you're going lone wolf?" Sam challenged.

Callen let out a heavy sigh as he loosened the reigns on the anger towards his old partner.

"What I do and how I choose to do it is my business and mine alone. I am not answerable to you for anything. You want to protect your family… then you do it from here by keeping her safe… otherwise, stay out of my way."

"Who keeps you safe Callen? Who makes sure you come home?" Nell asked.

Callen schooled his emotions before he turned to face Nell. He liked her. She had guts, she was smart and she wasn't so quick to judge as the rest. He did miss that friendship.

He offered no smile and the chuckle he gave held no humor, "I keep me safe. I either do the job right or I don't come back. Simple as that. After all, that's what a lone wolf does, right Agent Hanna?" Callen stated before looking to Anna.

For the briefest of moments, Anna saw the old Callen looking out through the deep blue eyes she had always loved… but just as quick it was gone.

"Good-bye, Anna… Take care" Callen said as he turned and walked away, Arkady close behind.

"Watch him, Arkady" Hetty said as he left.

The room sat in silence…

"Is that what he was like when you first found him?" Kensi asked.

Hetty gave a heavy sigh as she shook her head slowly at the mess this had become.

"Very much so… a boy who never had a safe place to fall creates a man who trusts no one. The closest thing he's ever had to that safety was with NCIS. With that gone…" Hetty explained.

"He's nearly feral" Sam chuckled.

"You find this funny, do you, Mr. Hanna?" Hetty asked in disbelief.

"What we did? What this job is doing to him? No, not in the slightest. However, he's right that we underestimate him. He's been doing a job for two years where few survive the first. He's picked up a lot of new tricks and techniques and no doubt many of them… deadly. Comescus picked a bad time to piss him off." Sam replied.

"He is not always alone, either. Most of the time he is, but there are times when he will have a team join him. Every member equally dangerous and deadly. I worry what he may do, now." Hetty added.

Hetty, he's been injured. How many times before it's permanent or worse. They keep him going with no chance to recover." Anna stated.

"Yes, my dear. He cannot keep going like this. I've been doing some looking. I need to speak to Leon and get a message through. We can't risk him doing something that would go against even Blackguard's A-moral beliefs." Hetty agreed.


	11. Chapter 11

**DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own these little buggers. I do, however, have characters of my own making wandering through the halls of this story. Now should any of these characters dare to even remotely resemble persons living or ... it is completely coincidental.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES: Heeeeeyyyyy there! Okay, so, a few things. One is that I'm walking on eggshells posting this chapter. Everyone is so upset over poor Callen's state that I'm afraid you'll want to jump ship. I can promise you that it won't stay THIS bad forever. Callen is an intense character. He is a wonderful one to write for. Remember as you read Sam that he has lost the love of his life and the mother to his children. Even 2 years out, he is still struggling because he hasn't really dealt with it. He acted out at Callen because he was scared of losing someone else and Callen reacted to that as he always did in the past when someone shut him out. He took it as proof that he had screwed things up and was no longer wanted. It was just a bad situation all around and now they must find their way through the quagmire. Please don't hate me too much. Secondly, regarding Ana. I'm not sure if I mentioned it before so pardon any repeats. I am not a fan of Callen having a long term relationship. Seem off where his character is concerned. If you think back to Walton Flynn and what he said about them doing what they do so OTHERS can have that happily ever after life. I like Ana as a character... I love him having some sort of a relationship with her (although I must say, I believe in saving it for marriage... but I didn't create the character and soooooo) I love that she's Arkady's daughter, adds some interesting flavor to the story. I'm not sold on the actress. So I'm creating an Ana I can believe in. HA. I hope you like her and give her a chance. Understand, I won't be marrying him off. Sorry. Okay, well, go ahead, read it and try not to hate me...in fact please read and review. Talk to me.**

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"Callen lets go to the house as I suggested earlier. You can eat, get some rest and make your plans. My Ana will not forgive if you do not. Please, make an old man happy, don't make his beautiful daughter angry with him, no?" Arkady encouraged.

Callen stopped and turned, after a moment's thought he gave Arkady a nod.

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

"Leon." Hetty greeted when the director picked up his phone.

"Hetty?"

"We need to talk. Ana Kolchek was shot earlier today. You might be interested to know who we found in her room… our Mr. Callen." Hetty said.

"Callen is there?" Leon asked. He'd had Gibbs on top of looking for him since he had disappeared with no luck. He never could figure out how Callen could simply disappear and reappear and no one ever see him in between. He respected his abilities. He understood why everyone wanted him yet no one knew what to do with him once they had him.

"Yes, Leon… and he looks terrible. Who knows when he slept last and he's been injured... again! Now you can play dumb all you like with Jethro but you and I both know you have access to his handlers and they are doing a lousy job!" she yelled.

"Henrietta, I am no longer his boss and as such have no pull with the new one. As far as I have been told, his record on this job is exemplary. He has only taken one medical leave in the nearly two years since he started." Leon replied.

"He is exhausted and now when he should be seen by a doctor and resting, he's preparing to do battle again." Hetty spat angrily.

"A bit dramatic even for you, Hetty." Leon chuckled.

"The comescus are back. One shot Ana as a message to Callen that they are coming for him." Hetty replied hotly.

"The Comescus? I thought they had been eliminated." Leon sat up, his tone serious.

"As did we… but there is a new generation taking up the fight. They just poked the bear. There is no one to have his back this time. He has warned me and the team off." Hetty explained.

"Never known anyone on your team to let that stop them from intervening on his behalf… even when they didn't agree." Leon stated.

"Yes, well that was before Mr. Callen was left alone for two years living the life of a recluse. He is every bit as dangerous as the enemy. Come now, Leon, you and I have been around awhile. We know the life he's living. We know what that job does to a person. We need to get him out before it's too late." Hetty's voice was thick with emotion she rarely shared.

"What would you have me do? As I said, they are more than pleased with his work and they don't take kindly to other agencies nosing in on their business." Leon felt her frustration and agreed with her assessment, as well as her loss as to what to do. "I will make some calls. I'm sending Gibbs to help your team. These Comescus are trouble for everyone who is connected with Callen not to mention their reputation in the criminal world. I'm certain Callen's superiors will be more than interested in the activities. I'll be in touch… and Hetty, you and your team had better be clear on your standing with Mr. Callen if you even hope to entice him away." With that the call ended.

"Bugger" Hetty muttered and she unceremoniously dropped the phone back into the cradle.

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"Can I get you anything else?" Arkady asked Callen, pleased by his appetite.

"No. I'm fine, thank you. I need to get going." Callen said, pushing away from the table.

"Not until you rest, my friend. I promised Ana." Arkady stood as well. "You cannot deny you are tired. These people will go nowhere… and they won't get in here."

"Fine, a few hours won't change my plans." Callen agreed then warned, "Don't mess with me Arkady."

"Me? I do nothing but offer you food and rest. It's a good thing." Arkady smiled, a twinkle in his eye that had Callen rethinking his decision.

"It comes to mind, Arkady that you once said you are not here to do me any favors. So, is this business? If so, what do you want in return?" Callen looked over at Arkady, his eyes narrowed in distrust.

"This is true, this is true… however, this was before you stole the heart of my beautiful daughter Anastasia Kolchek." Arkady grinned, to which Callen just shook his head and turned towards the stairs that led to the many guestrooms.

"Understand, you mess with me while I'm resting… I have my gun and I will not hesitate to shoot you." Callen smirked as he looked back over his shoulder…

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"Arkady just called to say Callen agreed to rest for a few hours. Leon is making calls and Gibbs is on his way." Hetty updated the team which was nested in Ana's hospital room.

"So now what?" Eric asked.

"Now, you and Miss Jones are to find these two… before Mr. Callen does.

"And the rest of us? Sam asked.

"We wait and we prepare for battle… but first we decide what we are fighting for."

"Hetty?" Kensi asked.

"Mrs. Deeks" Hetty returned while looking over the top of her glasses. "We are now two years of the day Mr. Callen left. Two years in that job does a lot to the average agent. To someone like Callen with no family or support system, it can create a monster. Mr. Callen lives, eats, and breathes his work and while that worried me when he worked here, it terrifies me now. Leon wants him back. We are to accomplish that. We must decide if we can put away our differences and save Mr. Callen even though he, himself, may not see the need for saving. Whether or not he comes back to the OSP, Leon intends to have him back within the confines of NCIS."

"So when is Leon due to check in? Sam asked, making no comment on what Hetty said.

"Soon." she replied as the room once again fell silent.

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Hours later, Callen sat bolt upright in the bed… his heart pounding. If he didn't know better, he'd swear his heart had moved to his head by the rhythmic beat. Taking the opportunity, he decided to take a hot shower to loosen the aching muscles and hopefully lighten the headache.

Standing in the hot steam, he leaned forward to rest his forehead against the shower wall. His mind was a swirl. Sam never ceased to piss him off. He knew how to push his buttons and yet he'd promised Michelle he'd watch out for him. Well that got a whole lot more difficult these last few years. Still, he didn't believe in breaking promises. He'd done his best to have an eye on things. Now they thought they needed to get involved in his latest battle with the past. He couldn't allow that. The risk was too high. Kamran and Aiden needed him to come home. He only hoped Hetty would heed his warning. His thoughts were disrupted by an alert from his phone. With a heavy sigh he turned the water off and slowly stepped out of the shower and began the tedious task of redressing in an attempt to prevent any additional pain to his already bruised body.

Arcady slowly opened the door in an effort to check and make sure his guest hadn't snuck off. Callen had been the only one he'd ever known who could find a way around his security system.

"What do you want, Arkady? I'm still here." Callen called out from inside the room. It was followed by a pain filled grunt.

Concerned, Arkady pushed the door open. He bit his tongue against commenting on the multiple bruises covering Callen's torso. 'No wonder he hurt.' He wondered how he was able to move at all. As he started to speak, Callen's phone went off again.

"Damn it!" Callen growled stuffing the phone into his pocket and grabbing a clean shirt from his bag.

"Is Hetty and that team still at the hospital?" He asked angrily.

"Yes, I believe so." Arkady answered, "What is wrong, Callen?"

"You need to take me there… NOW!" he demanded.

Callen went to grab his bag but Arkady beat him to it. "Let's go."

The drive was a quick but quiet one. Callen was lost in thought. He had sent several texts and Arkady could almost see some of the tension release as the texts were returned one by one.

Callen's walk through the hospital was slower than he'd liked but he had to preserve whatever energy he had for the night ahead.

"Callen. I didn't expect you back this evening." Hetty commented as she cast a look Arkady's direction to which he simply shrugged and shook his head.

"Or ever." Sam muttered.

Callen didn't bother to react to Sam. "I didn't think I needed to but I've been told you don't listen." Callen stated eyeing Hetty carefully.

"As I told you, Mr. Callen, this is not just ABOUT you. They shot one of my people. This is as much our fight as it is yours." Hetty replied.

"It will be taken care of. Your people will only be in the way." Callen's tone deepened with each word.

"In the way, huh?" Sam spat out, "So, what we're not good enough to have your back now?"

Had it not been such a serious situation, Ana would have allowed herself a chuckle over the look Arkady was giving her. At Sam's outburst, Arkady rolled his eyes in disbelief. Callen was obviously on edge and it was also apparent that there was more going on than Arkady had yet to share. But as Callen once again turned his attention to Sam, Arkady attempted to distract before it escalated any further. "We've come to see my beautiful daughter as I had promised, yes, Callen?"

Callen's eyes narrowed for the briefest of moments before allowing Arkady's interruption. "Of course. How are you?" Callen turned slowly toward Ana.

"Perhaps I should ask you? I know how you like to hack into medical records. You probably know more than I do." She whispered softly, pleased that it allowed her another brief glimpse at the Callen she missed so desperately.

With a smirk, Callen answered just as quietly, "You're gonna make it."

"Thank you, doctor" She teased… the moment was broken when Sam once more demanded Callen's attention followed by Deeks suggesting he back down. Once again her Callen dissolved behind his protective barriers… replaced by someone far colder and angrier.

"Sam, you had better start listening to your team." he warned.

"Hetty, Director Vance" Eric said, turning the laptop to face the room.

"Leon." Hetty stated calmly, belying the obvious tension in the room. "What can we do for you?"

"Hetty… Callen. I'm surprised to find you there." The surprise was evident in his voice as he replied.

"Director. It was a necessary visit. Am I to assume you are about to make my job easier?" Callen responded coldly.

"As a matter of fact, Hetty, NCIS has been told to step down. This case is no longer considered our jurisdiction."

"By who, Leon" Gibbs stated as he walked in on the conversation.

"Gibbs, glad you made it." Leon greeted before continuing, "Blackguard has claimed jurisdiction and have ordered a stand down by NCIS effective immediately. Any interference will not be tolerated. That includes your team, Hetty. Consider yourselves in lock down until this matter is settled. Are we clear?" Leon asked.

"Yes, director." Hetty was less than pleased with the turn around.

With a curt nod he turned his attentions to Gibbs, "When you get a moment you need to check in."

"Will do, Director" Gibbs replied, catching the unspoken message.

"Good luck, Agent Callen. Give `em hell."

"Count on it, Director," Callen replied before the connection broke.

"I don't appreciate being sidelined when one of my people have been affected." Hetty stated looking to Callen for an explanation.

"Hetty, we aren't seriously going to sit this one out, are we?" Kensi asked angrily.

"You don't have a choice." Callen answered instead, "You value your job? Stay put."

Kensi scowled as she prepared to argue when Hetty put her hand up. "Mr. Callen is correct. We have no choice. This order comes from the top. There is obviously more at play than we are aware of, isn't there?" she looked over to Callen.

"So the golden boy is threatened and even Blackguard is jumping through hoops." Sam stated, his words striking their mark.

"Back down Agent Hanna." Gibbs warned, keeping his eye on Callen. He'd been down this road once before with his friend. Working for the CIA was not a good fit for Callen in many ways. They knew what they had in him and used him for what they could with no thoughts to what it would do to him. The agency never was one to worry about its people… when Callen's partner burned him and left him without any back up and in a dangerous situation he vanished… Gibbs went hunting until he found him. He wasn't in good shape when he did. His time with the agency only confirmed for Callen that working alone was the only choice for him and that trusting anyone was a major mistake. He was far more volatile to work with after that… it made finding him a place to fit difficult until he finally landed with NCIS where there were people who actually cared about him and not just his skill set.

"Why should I? Why should any of us? He's so damn set on going lone wolf. Who'll clean up the mess this time? We were willing to go and have his back despite everything… but no."

"Seriously man, back down. You're not helping anyone here." Deeks whispered… but Callen had hit his limit.

He spun around and faced Sam, "You really think that poorly of me?" Callen asked. "Then why so worried about me going lone wolf? So what if I do? I'll get what I deserve, right? Look, I'll tell you what, I'll make a deal with you. I promise to take down all the bad guys BEFORE I die. Will that make you happy?"

"No one here wants you dead, Callen. Quite the opposite, I assure you." Hetty stepped in, shooting Sam a look of warning.

Callen let out a weak laugh, "Hetty. I'm not here to make friends. Those days are long passed. You see, I do learn from my mistakes. I'm here to do you a favor."

"What kind of favor, Mr. Callen?" Hetty asked hesitantly.

"The kind that saves lives. You're right, this isn't just about me… that is just a mere annoyance. You and I both know the Blackguard is no respecter of persons. I am, as I always have been… expendable. They would only lock this mission down if there was something more. Comescus have been a thorn in the side of our national security for a very long time. Needless to say, they've apparently been busy. They were holding tight for a bit more information but this escalated things. Despite your team's low opinion of me, I have a plan and I will not be going alone. Trust me when I tell you, Hetty, it is a good thing you aren't going. Our last visit with them was child's play compared to what's coming down now."


	12. Chapter 12

**DISCLAIMER: I can't believe I have to say it again, but I don't own these awesome NCIS/NCIS LA characters... it stinks, but it's true. Just remember, I do own the other crazy characters. Now, should any of them seem familiar... it not on purpose.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES: WOW! Okay, I have to tell you, if I wasn't nervous before, I am now. Please remember as we continue on here that I am new to actually writing out mission type stories. I am scared silly as I post this chapter. It starts here. OHHHH MYYYYY GOOOOOOOsh! Please, read and please review. Be kind... remember... it's my first mission. Your reviews help me keep posting.**

 **I just want to thank you all for your reviews. I can't tell you how uplifting they've been. You are AWESOME! Thank you. Okay, yeah, I'm stalling. Go ahead. I'm going to go cover my head with a pillow now. (cheesy grin)**

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"Our last visit with them was child's play compared to what's coming down now."

"What's so different this time?" Sam asked.

"This time no one will be spared. This time… they all die." His tone was so matter of fact that it took them all by surprise.

"Callen." Kensi breathed. "When you say everyone…" She couldn't bring herself to finish.

"Not even you, Callen, would be so cruel." Sam finished the thought for her. A chill ran the length of his spine when he saw the look that came over Callen's face.

Callen's visage darkened. "Not even me? Huh, Sam? If we are speaking of children? No, I'm not that big of a monster… yet. They will be given new identities and placed in new homes. With any luck they'll forget their past and this damn blood feud. Even if they don't, I'll no doubt be dead by the time they're old enough to take a crack at me." Callen stated the last part more to himself than anyone.

"What about their mothers?" Kensi asked cautiously.

"Everything has been given due diligence. I am not in the practice of killing the innocent, though apparently that is not the common belief held here." Callen answered with little interest.

"Why not let us help you?" Deeks asked.

Callen shook his head. "Marty, nothing about this is going to be pretty. There is a reason the guard is the one going in. You, Kensi and Sam… you don't want this on your conscience."

"And you?" Sam asked simply, "Do you even have a conscience?"

"Apparently not, according to you. It doesn't matter, Sam. I told you years ago that there are people like me so people like you can go home to your families. That hasn't changed. Especially now, your kids need you to come home at the end of the day, Sam." Callen had hopes that Sam would just accept it and allow him to move on. Breathing shallowly was no longer of any benefit. Breathing, in and of itself, was painful and standing this long was only intensifying the problem.

"I said it then and I'll say it now… bullshit. What aren't you saying?" Sam pushed, ignoring the threatening looks from his fellow team members.

"Let it go, Sam" Callen grabbed his jacket when Sam went to grab his shoulder… instinct kicked in and without thinking Callen turned on him effectively pinning him against the wall with a gun to his head. "I said… Let. It. Go. Go home, see your kids. Why are you fighting so hard when there's no reason to? You have no stake in this. I am no longer your problem."

"Callen, put the gun down." Gibbs said softly.

At first Callen didn't acknowledge Gibbs at all then slowly he lowered his gun but his hand remained on his chest, holding him in place.

Gibbs caught Sam's eye and with a slight shake of his head, warned him to stay quiet.

"Callen, he's not the enemy. You need to release" Gibbs tried again, never making a move to touch him.

"For eight years. For eight years I tried to be what everyone else wanted me to be… what I wished I was capable of being. The truth is… I'm not. I am capable of one thing and one thing only. I'm a government asset born and raised. Right Hetty? What did you call me Sam, their golden boy? Well, it's not so glamorous as that. After all, I wasn't worthy of a family as a child and well, you see how well Hetty's little experiment turned out" looking at Hetty, he continued, not the least amount of emotion evident… just facts as he saw them, "You just can't pay people to care now can you, Hetty?"

Hetty's heart broke at his words. He truly felt himself not worthy of being loved. How far they had fallen. It wasn't that long ago that they were, or at least appeared to be, a happy family. So much had happen in the past three years that left them all so scarred and jaded, she wondered if there was any way they'd ever be able to salvage the friendships so deeply marred by their experiences.

Finally Callen released his hold on Sam's shirt but his hand remained on his chest in order to hold his attention, "I promised Michelle I'd watch out for you… I intend to keep that promise. Stay put. Don't follow me." He finally let go, holding his ribs as he slowly bent over to retrieve his jacket before opening the door to leave.

"G! Wait! Who's got your back?"

"Why do you want to know? They're good at what they do. I chose them specifically for this job. In the end, it's not about me, it's about putting an end to the evil of one of the largest most dangerous crime families. We will win one way or another. There is no other acceptable outcome."

"So no one, then" Sam stated, "Let us do that much."

With an exasperated sigh, Callen turned his head to look Sam in the eye, his voice laced with anger and frustration.

"I don't trust you to have my back, Sam. I don't trust any of you. Not anymore. Thanks, but I'll take my chances. Worst case, I retire with a bullet." Callen's gaze bore into Sam until he opened the door and walked away. Callen hated the look he saw in Sam's eyes but he needed him to stay safe. Maybe their partnership was a thing of the past but he would never forget the many times he stood beside him… when he did have his back… when he believed in him, trusted him. When he sat by his bed as he fought for his life after being shot five times. He missed that… He didn't lie when he said he didn't trust them, but he owed them all enough that he wanted better for them than the life he lived…

Sam leaned back against the wall, not sure what to think or feel. He'd been so angry with Callen that it never occurred to him that Callen might return the sentiment.

"Sam, you better listen to his warning if you don't want caught in the crossfire. You are out of your league with these people. He doesn't need any more distractions. Now who's going to tell me how he managed to get injured again?" Gibbs demanded.

"It was the last job he was on." Arkady replied. "At the house, I went to check on him… he's a sneaky little bastard. He was getting ready to leave. He had changed clothes and his shirt was still off. His entire front and back was covered in bruises and there were many new scars to add to the old. Our dear friend has been through much these past two years." Arkady shook his head.

"Great… I have to talk to Leon and since we're in stand down, I'll probably be called back. Stay low Hetty… Arkady" he leaned in and gave Ana a kiss on the cheek before whispering in her ear. "I'll do my best to keep him safe."

Ana smiled, Callen would have back up whether he wanted it or not, "Safe trip, Jethro."

After Gibbs had left the room, Deeks spun on Sam…"Are you insane, man? Why were you pushing him so hard! He didn't do anything wrong, you do remember that, right?"

Sam stiffened, "He did nothing wrong, huh? How about the 3 months you spent in the hospital and another month recovering at home because of a botched plan! He nearly got you killed. He kept us all in the dark. He left without fighting it out?"

"You mean begging for forgiveness, don't you, Sam?" Kensi countered. "We were wrong. We assumed the worst and it cost us a friend."

"Botched plans happen in this business all the time. We can only do our best with the intel we are given. That's all we did that day. We had very little time to work out the details. I'm okay with it, why aren't you?" Deeks asked.

Sam didn't have an answer. He just blew out a soft sigh as he ran his hand over his face.


	13. Chapter 13

**DISCLAIMER: All rights to the characters of NCIS and NCIS LA belong to someone other than me. I do, however, have my own little characters meandering through this story. I can't begin to tell you how happy they are to get to play in the same playground.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES: I can't say thank you enough to all those who reviewed and alleviated my fears. You guys are great! Thank you so much for reading this story. It was such a surprise to me when I started writing. It was a story that took on a life of it's own in the telling. So here we go with another chapter. It's a bit on the short side but perhaps that means there will be another post tomorrow. Time will tell... perhaps reviews will tell me. We shall see. we shall see. For now... let's see what Callen is up to... please don't panic.**

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Callen grabbed his gear from the trunk and headed into his hotel room. He sent a text and then cleaned his guns while he awaited the reply. By the time it came he had repacked and loaded his car.

As it turned out, he needn't go far to face what would be the beginning of the end. Putting his silencer on his gun, he tucked it in at his waist before walking into the hotel. Walking through the lobby, he went straight for the elevator. The key to blending and becoming unmemorable is to simply be like everyone around you. Don't appear to hide or avoid. Callen knew that even though he'd put a stop to OSP following physically, they'd follow virtually. If they hated him before they'd certainly write him off after this. Its one thing to kill a target that's threatening you in that moment, but to take them out because they are a potential threat was another beast altogether. He could afford no more time to their activities… a job needed done and it started here. Callen pulled on his gloves before making quick work of the lock. Gently opening the door, he entered the darkened suite. Working his way quietly through to the bedroom, he slowly opened the door. Gun drawn, he approached the side of the bed.

Andrei petrescu never knew what was coming. He barely opened his eyes when Callen pulled the trigger. "One down, one to go." He whispered before letting himself out and moved down the hall to the next room. Once more he let himself in and moved carefully through the suite, he walked into the bedroom with his gun trained on Mihai Comescu. He flipped on the light switch as he sat down in the chair at the foot of the bed.

"Ah ah ah… keep your hands where I can see them." Callen ordered.

"It's you!" Mihai hissed.

"If by 'you', you mean the person who's about to send you to hell, then yes, it's me." Callen smirked in return.

"You won't get away with it. You will lose! We will kill everyone you care about and then we will make you beg for death… which we will happily oblige very, very slowly and with the worst pain imaginable." He seethed.

"Truly. That sounds absolutely tedious. Luckily for me, I have no one I care about… nor anyone who cares for me. So, I guess we'd have to jump straight to the part where you torture me. Although, I do have to warn you, I just went through an extensive jaunt with that so… the bar's been set. I know, how about we scrap your idea and instead, I'll kill you right here and then travel to our home country where in just twelve hours a team of assassins, if you will, are going to descend upon your businesses and homes... Do you have children, Mihai? I hope you told them you loved them, because it will have been your last time." Callen taunted. Okay, once in a while he did actually mess with his prey a bit.

Fear began to settle on Mihai's features, "You had better not touch my children." Mihai threatened.

"Or what, Mihai. What will you do? Nothing. You will do nothing. No worries, unlike your family, I don't believe in murdering the innocent. I will, however, see to it they forget the name comescu. You're family and their evil dealings are done."

"There will always be comescus and they will be the end of the Callens."

"Yeah, not going to happen. I'm sorry to disappoint but that story is unlikely to end in anyone's favor, yours or mine. You may be right, I may not survive this but that's okay because I will die knowing that you went first."

Mihai straightened his spine in defiance. With a smirk, Callen pulled the trigger and watched as the second enemy of the night slumped back on the bed. No question as to his status.

Callen flipped off the light switch and closed the door as he once again exited the room and then the hotel. By the time the bodies were found he'd be arriving in Romania.

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Hetty had managed to talk the doctor into releasing Anna with the promise of an on staff nurse to take care of her. Once free from the hospital Hetty had everyone reconvene at the ops center as soon as they'd managed a meal and a few hours' sleep, knowing Callen had a ten and a half hour trip to Romania. She, Arkady, and Anna headed to Dovecote for the evening.

"Hetty, what happens when this is over? If Callen survives this…" Anna asked.

"We'll deal with that when the time comes. Now, you need to rest. I will have Arkady bring you some soup in a little while. Hetty turned out the bedside lamp and closed the door silently behind her.

"How is she?" Arkady asked.

"Oh, she's fine. Worried for Callen." Hetty replied, putting the kettle on for tea.

"We should all be worried about the boy…" Arkady stated.

"You mentioned his injuries?" Hetty asked passively as she put a pot of her homemade soup to warm.

"Hetty, the boy was tortured. From the bruising, it was done over time. Beatings, burns, electrical burns besides. He is not fit for this battle. I fear for his safety." Arkady growled.

"Have you heard from Garrison?" Hetty asked. "Have they been in touch at all?"

"No, not that I know of. Callen just couldn't connect with him. Seeing him building a relationship with his grandson just reminded him of what they didn't have. With that and the mole and then Granger… Callen just cut him out." Arkady shook his head. "I warned Garrison, but he did not listen."

Yes, stubbornness and bull headedness runs in the family" Hetty heard Arkady chuckle and allowed herself a brief smile.

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The plane ride proved to be a painful one. Callen could not get comfortable. The first few hours they went over the plans detail by detail. There had already been teams deployed within the states as well as several other locations all prepared to strike at the same time to avoid anyone warning the rest.

Callen tried to block it out of his mind, just how many deaths this mission would entail or how many children would be left as orphans about to be whisked away to other parts of the world, essentially tagged and followed the rest of their lives. Yes, the past few years had taken a toll on his life. He knew he'd changed and not necessarily for the good… but one thing hadn't changed. He still fought on behalf of the children, which is why he put others in charge of dealing with the family homes. He would do what needed done but he had the luxury of choosing who would do what. Right now he just wanted it done.


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER: It is so sad to have to keep repeating the fact that I do not own any of the delightful characters of NCIS/NCIS LA. So I comfort myself with the knowledge that I do own all the other critters running around in this story. Now should any of said critters resemble anyone living or imaginary... I didn't do it on purpose.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for your fantastic support whether it be by just reading, choosing to favorite or follow, or if you leave me reviews. You are all greatly appreciated. I promised you another post so here it is. REMEMBER... I am new to this whole mission thing and as much as I try to research and study... I'm only human and I'm still learning. That said, we might as well just jump right to it. As always, your reviews are a delight. Please take a moment to leave reviews.**

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"Ana, dear, you should be resting. Were you unable to sleep?" Hetty asked as she gathered another tea cup from the cabinet.

"I'm going with you to ops." Ana answered.

"Oh, I'm not sure that's wise" Hetty offered, "you only just got out of the hospital."

"I'm going Hetty" Ana said decidedly.

"Save your breath, Henrietta. She is a stubborn one." Arkady chuckled. "I would be grateful if you would allow me to come as well."

"You will stay where I tell you or I will let Sam shoot you," Hetty looked over the top of her glasses.

Arkady held his left hand in the air and his right hand on his heart, "I swear."

"Mhm… very well. We will head over right after breakfast. They won't possibly reach Romania before 11:00, but my guess is they will be hitting the ground running. They cannot risk anyone finding out." Hetty explained.

She put a bowl of fresh fruit, a plate of scones and a skillet of scrambled eggs and bacon on the table.

"It looks wonderful Hetty" Ana said as she pushed the food around her plate, not unlike her companions.

"No appetite?" Hetty asked, already knowing the answer.

"No, I'm afraid not. I just keep thinking about Callen."

"Don't you fret. That cheeky little bastard will outlive us all" she tried to reassure herself as much as Ana and Arkady."

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"Hey Sam." Deeks greeted.

"Marty, Kensi" Sam returned as he accepted the coffee they offered.

"Hetty here yet?" Deeks asked.

"No, but she called. They're on their way." Sam replied.

"Eric and Nell?" Kensi added casting a glance towards the balcony.

"They were here before me. Not sure they went home." Sam answered with a sigh.

"I'm not surprised. They feel this is all they can do for Callen" Deeks stated.

"And how does our staring at a screen help G., exactly." Sam growled.

"It doesn't, Mr. Hanna…" Hetty stated matter of fact. "But…" she said in a tone that challenged their thoughts when they heard it, "maybe it will help us understand Mr. Callen and what he's been through a mite better."

"Understand Callen?" Sam chuckled, "Didn't know that was possible. I knew the guy eight years and I don't think I ever understood him."

"mhm, yes, well, for those who care to join us, I fear it will not be long" Hetty said as she turned to start up the steps.

They made a slow procession up the stairs with greetings to one another.

"Miss Kolchek, sit." Hetty commanded as she pointed to a chair she had someone bring up just for her. "… and drink that water."

"Yes, Hetty." Ana smiled as she gladly lowered herself into the comfortable chair centered in the room.

Already Eric and Nell had tapped into every camera system available to them. With a little help and some luck they would be able to link into coms, if only to listen.

"We're good to go." Nell stated, leaning back in her chair.

"Very good, Miss Jones. Now? We wait."

"So how do you know when this is even going to go down?" Deeks asked the question they were all thinking.

"Rumor has it, they left at approximately 1:00 a.m. Mr. Callen apparently had a prior engagement."

"A prior engagement?" Kensi asked.

Just then Eric flashed a dual picture onto the side screen. "Andrei Petrescu and Mihai Comescu. Our first deaths of the evening." Hetty explained.

"Doesn't look like Andrei argued his fate" Deeks surmised.

"Surprisingly, no." Hetty stated. "However, I'd guess from the look of things, Mihai may have shared a moment or two with his executioner before leaving this world."

"And you think G. did this?" Sam asked.

"Mhm. Yes. This marks the beginning of a very long story… or nightmare to those involved. Mr. Callen was haunted by this family from the moment he was safely removed from that beach the day they killed his mother. It is only reasonable to think he would be the catalyst to what will no doubt be a very bloody affair." Hetty said. "It is an event long in the making, is it not Arkady?"

"That it is." Arkady murmured.

"Have you heard from Garrison?" Hetty repeated the question from the night before.

"Not from him, no. But my contacts suggest his son is not the only one doing battle this day." Arkady answered.

"Will they ever find peace?" Hetty sighed turning back to the screen.

"Hetty, you mentioned they were after Callen since he was five but he was unaware of their existence till we went to Romania looking for you." Deeks said more than asked.

"Yes, well, Callen had just been traumatized by the brutal death of his mother. From that moment on the children were followed not only by the Comescus but friends of his parents, including yours truly, as well as Mr. Reinhardt and Arkady Kolchek… to name a few." Hetty began.

"With so many people watching, why didn't Callen get adopted into a home where he'd be safe?" Kensi asked, taken back.

"Because there was no such place. Any home he was placed in became a target. We could not openly risk his safety on one place where we would not be able to intervene, nor could we risk the safety of the other children and parents."

"Then why not agents homes who knew to be watchful?" Sam asked.

"The Rostoff's were such a family… but they received a threat on their daughter's life. The comscus came for him but he had gone away with some friends for the weekend. The immediate threat was eliminated but the effort was compromised and he could no longer stay with them. Quite unfortunate for all concerned." Arkady relayed sadly.

"I still don't understand why all the abusive home. He didn't deserve that!" Sam's frustration apparent as his past need to protect and defend his old partner surfaced.

"I agree, Sam. I think it safe to say, Michael, Arkady, and Garrison all felt that way. However, Callen is not wrong when he says he was an asset of the government since he turned five. The powers that be saw his potential early on. It is truly in his blood. They knew it. By allowing him to be put in these homes, while the risk was higher regarding the boy's immediate physical safety, it was not so much a concern in regards to the Comescus. They saw his personal skill set being created and built with each home. His welfare workers were agents put in place to make moving him easier. I had little control over them. However, Mr. Callen made them earn their paychecks." Hetty pursed her lips in a slight smirk, her eyes bright, "He frequently ran, hid, and fought back. He would disappear for weeks at a time. His nickname, 'the Ghost', began very early on. Finally he had exhausted and well, annoyed one too many agents and when he was threatened with juvie and they ran the risk of losing their future asset, they allowed me to take him in."

Everyone shared a brief chuckle at the thought of young Callen fighting a system that wanted nothing more than to use him.

"Guess they weren't quite prepared for a true natural." Sam chuckled in appreciation for his 'brothers' survival skills.

"Indeed," Hetty said with a grin… replaced by a sad melancholy sigh. "If only they had been more concerned with the nurturing aspect of his raising."

"What about Amy?" Nell asked.

"Amy did drown just as we were told…" the implication was not lost on those around her.

"Does Callen know? Does he know they murdered his sister" Sam asked.

Hetty thought a moment before slowly shaking her head as she pursed her lips, eyes widened and took in a small breath as she answered, "No… no, it would have done him no favors, though I have no doubt he suspects…"

"Hetty, I think we have movement." Eric called out.

All eyes turned to the screen as the room took on an eerie silence.

"Ghost. They have a deal going down in there… do we wait?" A voice broke across the coms.

"Do we know who they are, King?" Callen's voice returned.

Silence followed… "It looks like the heads of the Romanov family." King returned.

"Man, we've been after these guys for a while. We go now and you wipe a few more names off your list there Ghost." Aries stated.

Coms fell silent as they all awaited Callen's response.

"Ghost, on your mark…" Mongoose called.

"Why are we even debating this, after what they put you through the last few months?" Yet another voice joined the conversation. "After what you went through? Let's take them out."

After another moment, Callen's voice returned. "This isn't about me, Rook. It can't be personal."

"Like Hell it can't! King! Is Iosif in there?" Rook growled into the coms.

"Negative, Rook," came the reply.

"Ghost! I say we send the bastard a message. The choice is yours… we'll follow your lead!" Rook stated.

"Hawk and mongoose bring your team from the back. Panther and wolf come in from above. Magpie with me."

"Really? Again with the Magpie?" The voice joked trying to lighten the already somber mood.

"Better I call you an old crow?" Callen chuckled, "As a spirit animal, magpie suits you." Callen became serious again as he began giving instructions to the other teams. "The rest of you. Get your teams ready and situated. Know your plan. When we move here… you all better be ready to roll. We only have one shot at surprising them. There will be no screw ups."

"So, seeing as it's not personal, are we taking any prisoners from the Romanov clan?" Rook asked. He knew Callen well enough to know that Romanov wouldn't get away with what he'd done.

The voice that came back had lost any hint of humor it may have had just moments before. Instead it was filled with venom. "Today there will be no survivors. Are we clear on the directives here? They all die."

"Dang!" Deeks sighed.

There was a click as more coms connected. Eric was able to trace the calls from various locations within the United States, Russia, and Romania. A map on the side screen lit up with the various locations.

"Team Zodiac is on task and awaiting your call Ghost"

"The Chess Team is accounted for, on your Go"

On down the list they checked in, each awaiting last minute instructions from their leader before the official go.

"Alright. The teams hitting the homes? Most of the kids have already been accounted for. Be watchful for any surprises. By morning, the name Comescu will be a thing of the past. You all have your individual orders. Lock and load people, we go in five."

Coms fell silent.

"How many agents do you think are involved? Deeks asked.

"A lot. Each team characterized by specific names… Zoo, Zodiac, Chess… they are all specific teams within the relative vicinity of Callen's location. There are even more in the other areas listed as you can see. There ARE a lot." Eric answered. Little did they know that there were two individuals tucked high up in the hills from where the action was taking place, who were prepared for any back up that might be needed covering the perimeter.

"And Callen is running the whole show?" Kensi asked.

"Yes, he handpicked these teams for this job. They have all crossed paths in the past and he knows their strengths." Hetty replied. "I have forgotten just how resourceful he is… I have forgotten just how formidable he can be."

Again they heard the click of Coms coming on and the teams checking in and then finally Callen.

"You know the directive, you have your orders. Watch your backs. Time to finish this… on my count. 3, 2, 1, Go, Go, Go.

They watched the screen light up with activity. They listened to the yelling, the screaming mixed in with the gunfire.

"Hawk and Mongoose! Get those charges set" Callen ordered.

"Working on it, Sir. Almost ready!" they returned.

"Hurry up! Clock is ticking people. Clear the building now and check in!"

"They are ready on your mark, Ghost!" Mongoose came back.

Once he knew they'd all cleared the building, Callen gave the order, "Now"

"Ghost! Where are you?!"

"Never mind. Just do it!" Came the order.

"You need to clear the building, Sir!" Came another voice.

"A bit busy at the moment." They could hear the struggle going on in the building through his com.

"Do you need assistance, Ghost?" Rook yelled into coms, the noise in the background making it clear that whoever this Rook was, he was also in the midst of battle.

"Negative! What I need is for you to light that fuse!" Callen growled, "NOW!"

"Affirmative… lit fuse in 3, 2… 1!" Rumbling could be heard from the systematic ignition of multiple detonators. As the explosions moved closer and closer to the building front, stragglers stumbled out in an effort to escape while meeting their demise at the end of a gun. But no Callen. With the final explosion, the building collapsed in flames.


	15. Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER: We will make this simple... NCIS/NCIS LA characters: Not mine. All other characters: Mine.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thank you to everyone so kind as to read and review. It truly makes my day. Thank you for following and favoriting (don't think that's a real word...but it works). I just finished editing this chapter. I've had my qualms about it but I'm going to put it out there. I'm about to fall asleep typing this... so I'm praying there are no real mess ups... please forgive me if there are any mistakes. I hope you like it, despite the small cliffhanger at the end. As you can see, there is progress being made. The team is working there way through this... it's going to take time. Sam and Callen are stubborn and it will take them longer. Nothing worth having is ever easy. Hang in there with me... it ain't over yet. Okay, here we go. Please! Read and review. That is how we grow... and stay sane...**

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In shock, they watched. Unsure of what exactly was taking place but knowing they did not see their friend anywhere on screen and through all the voices coming over the coms they didn't hear the one they wanted to hear more than anything.

Then, from out of range they saw a figure running from the side of the burning building, his jacket lit with flames. He fell to the ground and ripped his jacket off and threw it then turned to the bundle he had brought out with him… as he removed the blanket he had thrown over it they realized that what he had brought out with him was a small child. A little boy of about five or six. There was a unanimous intake of breath through the ops center as they realized what had happened. Callen bent over the boy who was obviously not breathing and began giving him rescue breaths… as others quickly headed in his direction. After what seemed like a long wait the little boy jerked to life. They could see him coughing… slowly he sat up as Callen made sure he was okay. Once it was clear the boy would be fine, Callen got to his feet and began taking account of his surroundings when out of nowhere he was blindsided by another figure coming in from out of range. Callen struggled with him then through a series of moves he finally gained control and he had the man bent over at his side with an arm around his neck. Another few seconds and a quick jerk, the body dropped to the ground dead.

Silence followed… the gunfire had ceased. The screams were no more but for the tears of one little boy scared and alone in the midst of strangers. Callen turned around slowly as if counting his men, "Check in" he said, his voice tight.

"Chess team here… we have check mate… scuffed but not out!"

"The Zoo is intact"

"Zodiac took a hit… Leo is down and Aries is gone."

"Damn it." Callen breathed as the rest of the teams slowly checked in with their status. Surprisingly, with only one loss, the list of injured was not horribly long.

"Was everyone's directives met?" Callen called out again. The unanimous yes came back as music to the ears of all concerned.

Callen began moving back towards his men and the boy when a shot rang out that flipped him sideways as he fell to the ground but before anyone could react another followed, from where they weren't sure, and the original shooter was taken out… Callen slowly got to his feet, his hand to his side.

"Ghost took a hit!" Hawk yelled into coms. I repeat, Ghost took a hit!"

"Ghost! Man, answer me! Are you okay?" Rook yelled into coms.

"I'm fine…" Callen answered the calls of concern, "It's just a scratch. Job well done everybody. I appreciate the hard work. Call in clean up and let's go home… Magpie, you old crow… you're in charge." Callen stated before going off mic.

They watched as everyone slowly moved about the screen gathering guns and ammo. Callen slowly made his way over to where the little boy stood looking lost. He got down on his knees in front of the child and spoke to him, wiped his tears… they saw the little boy nod his acceptance of whatever Callen had said before he took the hand of another agent and walked away. Callen made his way to his feet again and walked the other direction. Out of the hills came two more people… one they knew well… this one they knew had save Callen's life… Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

"Well, I'll be damned." Hetty breathed. "Leon, you cheeky bastard." She was surprised that Leon hadn't called her back with some sort of a plan for back up. Now she knew why. Callen wouldn't oppose Gibbs or Ziva being there the way he would the team. It was obvious he was angry with them all and rightfully so but by demanding they stay behind to keep them safe not just physically but psychologically spoke volumes. He did still care whether he saw it that way or not.

They watched as Gibbs introduced himself and Ziva to the rest of the players before heading after Callen who was wandering farther and farther from the site.

"Callen!" Gibbs called.

Callen turned towards the voice, a look of confusion on his face. "Jethro, Ziva? What the hell are you two doing here?"

"You're welcome, Callen" Gibbs said sarcastically, "Did you seriously think I wasn't going to follow your ass here and make sure you made it home in one piece?"

"No, I guess not. Please tell me the rest of them aren't wandering around out there." Callen stated wearily.

"No, that was not even an option. You and I both know that as good as they are… Sam might have been the only one who could have handled this and as tough as he is… I'm not sure he has the stomach for this work…. You okay?

"Yeah, why?" Callen answered, his defenses going up.

"For one, that was one hell of an operation. Two, you found a kid? And three, you were shot. It's a valid question, Callen."

"Look, I just need a minute to myself. Can you give me that?" Callen asked, his voice strained.

"Sure. We will go grab our gear and then we'll head back to the pickup point." Gibbs said, "Don't go far."

Callen watched them walk back towards the group. The lost look on his face was unmistakable.

"Where's he going?" Deeks asked as they watch him turn and walk away. Within a few short feet he was out of range of their cameras and they had no way to communicate with anyone. Gibbs and Ziva could be seen scouring the area along with the other team members but with no luck in finding him.

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ONE MONTH LATER – OSP

"Hetty, I looked everywhere. I checked the hospitals. He is nowhere to be seen. Word spread through the mission's teams… no one has been in contact with him. If they do or they see him, they'll let me know. The greater concern is, did someone get away from the building and they took him. Leon has our people here listening for chatter but so far there is nothing. As far as anyone can tell the mission was a complete success and the Comescus have been completely wiped out this time. Any stragglers that were in other parts of the country, or out of the country for that matter, have been gotten. I've done all I can do for now." Gibbs stated, having only just returned to Washington D.C. the day before.

"Thank you, Jethro" Hetty replied as he signed off.

"Eric, keep facial rec going."

"Yes, mam"

"Arkady… have you had any luck with finding Garrison?" She asked, a rare sign of anxiousness in her demeanor.

"I sent message through channels but I have heard nothing." Arkady replied.

"We need to find him. He needs to come home and heal." Hetty did nothing to hide her desperation. Her boy was hurting both physically and emotionally. What was worse was that she was partly to blame.

"We will find him, it's just a matter of when. Callen is a resourceful young man. I am sure he is fine." Arkady offered.

"Of course you are correct. However, we are also talking about a man who has lost his entire family. His father has apparently abandoned him again not unlike his team, unfortunately. He just finished a two year stint as a government paid assassin taking down the remaining members of the Romanian crime family that has been trying to kill him since he was a child. He's now out there dealing with all this alone… not to mention the boy he saved during that mission… a boy that was the same age he was when he watched his own mother be killed. This is not a good thing, Arkady." Hetty's voice raised with pent up frustration catching the attention of her team.

"I've never seen Hetty lose her cool like this unless it had to do with Callen" Kensi said looking back over her shoulder towards Hetty's office.

"She and Arkady have been working night and day trying to find him. He is trying to find Garrison, but he's in the wind." Anna offered.

"Gibbs looked for him in Romania but there's nothing… according to him, the shot he took was more than a scratch and he'd taken a few more hits to his ribs." Eric added.

"I overheard Arkady tell Hetty that his last job was a hard one. It was a set up and Callen was taken and tortured for quite a while before he escaped. It was the Romanov's." Nell's worry was evident, "You have to wonder if the Comescus weren't behind it now that we know they were doing business together."

"The group they were talking about at the start of the mission!" Sam ran a hand over his face. "Why did he have to be so damn stubborn about letting us have his back?!

"Several reasons, Mr. Hanna" Hetty stated as she entered the bull pen.

"Yeah, for one… he doesn't trust us. That should come as no surprise. He has good reason" Kensi said.

"And he said he didn't want you risking your life for him and leave your two kids orphans." Deeks added.

"There is something you should know Sam" Arkady added, "Callen had things in place to keep an eye on the team when he was gone on a mission. When things went bad last year on the deep cover op you took to infiltrate a particular drug cartel." Arkady started when Sam shot him a cold look. "What? My lips are sealed, I did not give name… when your cover was blown, did you not wonder how you escaped so readily? Callen took out your enemy, allowing you time to get away. He also orchestrated a hit on a threat to your family. Callen promised Michelle he'd keep you safe. He kept his promise even when you turned your back on him." Arkady held his tongue when all he wanted was to yell at them for their lack of loyalty.

"He what? When?" Sam stood up and faced Arkady shocked at what he heard.

"I did not stutter, friend. You are blessed with loyalty you do not deserve." Arkady replied unmoved.

"Arkady?" Hetty said calmly.

"Did you know about this, Hetty?" Sam asked.

Shaking her head, brows furrowed, "No, No… I was not privy to Mr. Callen's activities."

"All this is well and good, but we still don't know if he is dead or alive." Deeks stated.


	16. Chapter 16

**DISCLAIMER: As far as NCIS/NCIS LA are concerned... no, I do not own them. As for Marie and Victor...mine all mine. Should they resemble anyone living or otherwise... it is purely coincidental.**

 **AUTHOR NOTE: Hey there, I want to thank you all again for faithfully reading my updates and willingly leaving me reviews as well as all the follows and favorites. It is so rewarding to share something that has been a labor of love with others and know they are enjoying it also. Here is your next chapter. Perhaps it is not quite as eventful as others but it is meaningful. Thank you again. Please continue to share your thoughts with me and know that they are all very much appreciated. So go ahead now, read and review.**

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The sun was bright as it came through the lace curtains of his room. The past month had been a blur. He remembered he finished the mission. He also remembered the overwhelming need to be somewhere else… anywhere else. He remembered the boy… the all too familiar look he saw in his eyes after it was all over. The feeling of self-loathing that would stay with him, knowing that child would grow up with the same feelings of sorrow. What he didn't remember was what happened next. It would be two weeks before he would find himself waking up here. No idea how he'd gotten there or who these people were… until his father walked in.

FLASHBACK – 2 WEEKS

"Do not try to sit up right now." Garrison said softly with his hand on his son's chest.

"Where am I?" Callen asked, looking around for something familiar.

"You are safe, my son. You are with friends." he answered.

"What happened?" Callen asked, sinking back into the pillows, his voice raspy from lack of use.

"A lot from the look of your body" Garrison grimaced at the memory of just two weeks prior, when he found him walking aimlessly on the road where he'd been headed to join the fight.

"You were in bad shape. You have several broken and bruised ribs. There's very few places you are not bruised. You were shot and the wound became infected. You still run a fever. The doctor says bedrest. You will stay here until you get your strength back… understood? It will not be safe for you out there at this time. You stirred up a lot of trouble with your visit. But you were smart… they have no idea who did this thing." Garrison said.

Callen watched Garrison carefully, "You're leaving… aren't you?" he asked.

"Soon, I must but I will stay as long as I can. I will need to move on to insure your safety here. My being here is a threat to that very thing. Garrison answered.

"What threat? Callen asked.

"You are not the only one with enemies. Like you, they never seem to forget their need to destroy all that I hold dear. One day… soon hopefully. You have healing to do and this is a safe place to do it." Garrison explained, "When you are ready, what will you do next? Will you go home?" Garrison asked, saddened by the look of loss that washed over his son's face.

"Home? Where is that? I honestly don't know what comes next or where that will be." He answered.

"There is no rush, my son. You are with friends. They will take care of you. You have no enemies chasing you. Enjoy the peace that brings." Garrison smiled.

"I will always have enemies." Callen responded as he felt the fatigue settle over him.

"Rest now, Grisha, I will be here. Do not fear the nightmares."

"Thank you… for saving me." He mumbled as he slipped into sleep.

PRESENT

The nightmares did come and Garrison stayed true to his word… He saved him from the battle grounds in his mind… until a week ago when the call came. He wanted to be angry with his father for leaving when he needed him, but he didn't have the energy to feel anything… so they said their good-byes and he was gone.

The fever had finally broke and he was eventually able to stay awake longer and avoid the ever present nightmares that plagued his sleep.

Movement was still difficult. He slowly pushed himself to a sitting position. Lost in thought, he was startled when the door opened and his present caretaker entered carrying a tray. He instinctually reached for the gun at his hip before hissing in pain, realizing he didn't know where his gun was.

"I am pleased to see you up. You were beginning to worry me. Here, I brought you a good rich bone broth to give you some much needed nourishment. We will see how you handle that before we go giving you anything heartier." Marie greeted in her rich Romanian accent.

"Thank you. Marie, is it? I appreciate all you are doing for me. I know it is a favor to Garrison… my father." Callen stated uncomfortably. He hated being a burden to anyone, let alone someone who didn't know him and he, especially, didn't know them.

"Pah! It is my pleasure. Lucky for you, my Victor is a doctor or you wouldn't be here." She scolded gently, patting his leg.

"Good thing then." Callen smiled wearily.

"Eat. Then sleep… if that is what you call that. It does little to heal you! Perhaps later you will feel up to taking a shower. Your father left a bag of things you may need. I will check on you in a bit. Stay put until I come back… and Eat, Eat!" Marie ordered with a smile as she walked out the door, closing it behind her.

"Marie!" Callen called out. "Marie? Where's my gun?"

Marie sighed as she shook her head. "Barbatii si armele lor. La fel ca tatal tau. (Men and your guns. Just like your father.) In the drawer of the table by your bed. I'd prefer it stay there until you are up and moving. You've had dreams where I was glad you didn't know." She looked at him with sympathy.

"I'm sorry…" Callen apologized. He remembered how the team used to joke about drawing straws if they had to wake him up.

"Now don't you start that… you can no more control those dreams than you can the weather…" she smiled as she closed the door quietly behind her.

Callen picked at stirring his broth absent mindedly. It wasn't that he didn't like it. Marie proved to be an excellent cook. He just had no appetite. His mind was full and his heart was empty.

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

Arkady smiled at the message on his phone, "Good news, Arkady? Ana asked her father.

"Yes, very good news…" Arkady smiled.

"Care to share?" Ana pushed.

Arkady debated momentarily before answering, "Nothing I can speak of now."

"You are staying out of trouble, aren't you?" Ana looked at him questioningly.

"Yes, yes, staying out of trouble" Arkady chuckled, "However, I do have calls to make… I will see you at dinner, yes?"

"I will be here." Ana assured as she pushed away from the table. "Be good, Arkady. I would hate to see Hetty have Sam shoot you." she grinned.

"Bah! Sam likes me!" Arkady waved her off.

Once the door closed and he heard her pull away, he once again pulled out his phone.

"Gibbs."

"Yes, Agent Jethro Gibbs. This is Arkady Kolchek."

"What is it, Arkady?" Gibbs asked.

"I thought you might like to know, I heard from Garrison." Arkady said with a smile on his lips and in his voice.

"And?" Gibbs asked cautiously.

"He found him… right after the mission ended. He had been coming to help when he found him. It was not good. He is with friends. His friend is a doctor. He has taken care of Garrison more than once. They are good people."

"How's Callen now?" Gibbs asked.

"I do not know. Garrison had to leave him over a week ago. He was still ill at the time." Arkady stated, knowing it would not set will with Gibbs that Garrison dared leave his son.

"Have you told anyone else?" Gibbs asked.

"No…" came the reply.

"Don't. Do you have a way to contact these people?"

"Yes, I'm sending it to your phone. Have you learned how to use your phone, Agent Gibbs?" Arkady asked with a grin and a chuckle.

"I know how to hang it up." Gibbs replied as the call disconnected. Gibbs smiled as he emptied his second coffee of the day. Finally, A lead. Now to get the okay to head back.

"Enter" Vance called to the knock on the door.

"Director…" Gibbs stated as he closed the door behind him.

"You're calling me director… must be serious… Callen?"

"Affirmative."

"Okay then. What do you have?" Vance asked, leaning back in his chair.

"Arkady heard from Callen's father, Garrison. He found Callen after he walked away from the mission site. Apparently he was in worse shape than any of us thought. Garrison took him to some doctor friend. He left Callen there over a week ago." Gibbs explained.

"He left him? For what reason? Where?" Vance asked. He couldn't imagine leaving his kids if they were hurt or sick.

"I don't know, Leon! Garrison is not my concern, his son is." Gibbs voice was sharp.

Vance thought for a moment. He was often amazed at how Gibbs could appear so cold and detached and yet there were a select few who he took under his wing… Abby, Callen, Ziva. "So what are your plans?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"To go bring his stubborn ass home." Gibbs replied, rolling his eyes.

"When do you leave? Abby will not be happy you're leaving again." Vance smirked at the look on Gibbs face.

"Once she knows why, she'll forgive me." Gibbs answered, heading for the door.

"Keep me apprised Agent Gibbs," he called after the disappearing figure.

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

Marie entered the house to find Callen standing at the back picture window. From the look on his face, she could tell that what he was seeing was not the same view as she.

"Look who's up among the living? She grinned.

Slightly startled, Callen turned to look at the intruder of his thoughts. He gave a small smile that did nothing to brighten the dull almost stormy gray color in his eyes.

"The heart does not heal as quickly as the body." She smiled knowingly.

Callen shifted uncomfortably, "Your definition of quick is certainly different from mine." Deflection would be the game of the day. Marie caught on quick enough.

"Considering the shape you were in when you got here? Yes! You are lucky to be alive at all. You scared your father a few times." She scolded, but Callen knew she meant no harm by it.

"My father. Callen repeated distractedly.

Marie watch the man in front of her. He reminded her so much of a younger Garrison. "He worried over you night and day early on. First it was the gunshot wound. You had lost so much blood and we are no hospital, so an infection was only a matter of when once he patched up the damage. Then there were bruises on top of bruises and burns and broken and bruised ribs which led to a bout with pneumonia. So to be standing where you are at six weeks out. Yes, very quick. Though do not get the idea you are all healed and ready to go fight. He hated leaving before you could talk."

"We talked" Callen stated absently. "As much as we ever have."

"Mhm. Yes, he is a quiet man… but never doubt his love for you." Marie assured.

Callen gave a little sigh as he turned back to the window. "I don't give it much thought at all, honestly… Did you know my mother?" Callen turned back to look in her eyes in order to gauge the sincerity of her answer.

The pain she saw in his eyes broke her heart. The mother in her wanted to pull him into a protective hug. But she knew it was too late to protect and shield the little boy buried deep in the hurt and damaged soul of the man in front of her. "I met her a few times. She was a good woman, beautiful. She loved your father very much."

"Callen nodded, looking to the floor… the topic becoming to uncomfortable.

"It is a beautiful day. Do you feel up to going to the beach? Victor said the air would do you good. It's not far from here and there are benches as you go. I find the ocean sounds and the salty sea air does wonders to clear the lungs as well as the mind. Go, take this phone. My number is programmed in should you need a ride. Don't push yourself."

Callen accepted the phone and went to retrieve his gun from his room.

Progress was slow and more than once he considered going back. Sweat dripped down his neck and spine. Finally he stood facing the ocean, on the very beach he played as a child. The same beach he watched his mother die on. Yet still, the ocean sounds called to him like an old lost friend. He watched as the waves crashed against the sand. The sounds of sea gulls as they flitted across the sky. He watched as families laughed and played as little kids built their sand castles. He watched, all the while unaware of the one who watched him. He wanted to go to Callen but Marie advised waiting a day or two. So he would… for a day or two.


	17. Chapter 17

**DISCLAIMER: I don't feel good today...so we will have to settle with, No, I don't own any NCIS/NCIS LA characters... just those of my own imaginings... any resemblances to any other persons is merely coincidental.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm sitting here right now feeling lousy from allergies and asthma... don't feel like doing anything soooo, figured I'd edit and post another chapter here. Thank you so much for all the wonderful support. Thank you to all who have favorited and followed. For those who review, I am deeply grateful. I love reading what you're thinking as you finish each chapter... it lets me know how I'm doing. Am I staying true to the characters? I know it's been hard for everyone imagining the breakdown of the team. Keep with me... you will see a shifting of sorts. They just have to work through their own stuff so they can get down to the business of rebuilding... or moving on... ya just never know... unless you are me... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA Did I mention I don't feel good? LOL. Truth is, I have really enjoyed getting into their heads and muddling around with them. I promise I will put things back the way I found them when I started... eventually. There are so many who read and never leave reviews... please think about trying your hand at it. Writers love those reviews... they help us continue to grow and guides us in our journey through these stories. All I ask is that you be kind... even if you have concerns... post them politely. It's all good. OK. Have at it! Thanks again, y'all are awesome!**

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Before long, Callen knew he'd never be able to walk all the way back. He called the number in the phone and within a few short moments, Marie was there. He watched as Callen struggled to put one foot in front of the other as he gingerly moved to sit down in the car. The kid had lost a lot of weight.

For the next few days, Callen followed the same path and Marie would come and bring him back.

Gibbs watched as he walked the water's edge watching the families. He didn't have to see his face to know the pain he'd find there.

Finally, at the end of the week, he once again found Callen sitting on the same bench as prior days. This day, however, he found himself approaching him. He was nearly upon him before he could see him tense and begin reaching for his gun. He spoke up in order to save him the pain of the extra movement. "Relax, Callen. It's just me." Gibbs said as he walked up from behind.

Callen made no move to look at him but kept his eyes focused on the waves, "How'd you find me?"

Sitting on the opposite side of the bench, he placed one of the two coffees he carried onto the bench next to Callen, "Arkady. Garrison sent him a message."

Callen took a sip of the coffee as he shook his head, "Figures, of course he did."

"So how're you doing, Callen?"

"Fair. They tell me, I'll live." Callen shifted in his seat stifling a groan behind the coffee cup.

"A lot of people are worried about you." Gibbs said looking him over carefully.

"A lot? I doubt that." Callen chuckled softly.

"Doubt it all you want. Makes it no less true. You need to get up and move? Gibbs offered.

"What I need is a new body" Callen threw back, "but yeah, not that it makes much difference."

They walked slowly down the beach.

"This the beach?" was all he asked.

"Yes. Back there" was all he answered.

"So Callen, What's your next move?" Gibbs slowed to a stop, realizing Callen's struggle to keep up.

"I don't know, to be honest… I have no idea." His breaths were short and raspy and his legs just gave way as Gibbs caught him and slowly lowered him to the sand.

"Callen, you okay?" Gibbs watched on with concern.

Callen did a self-check. His lungs burned, his chest ached… his ribs screamed with the effort it took to breathe. He wasn't sure if it was physical or a panic attack. He'd had those years ago, as a youth.

"Just sit here a minute and then we'll get you home." Gibbs kept his hand on his shoulder in an effort to keep him anchored to the here and now.

"Can't… can't breathe." Callen's face was ashen. Gibbs grabbed his phone and called Marie who immediately sent her husband to meet them. Within minutes, Victor was rushing down the beach to where they remained sitting.

"Callen!" Victor spoke as he assessed the situation. "Callen, I need you to look at me." He commanded attempting to get his attention. Slowly Callen found the strength to move… trying to push away the unwanted attention. "Fine… I'm fine.

"Sure you are. Now stand down and let him check you over." Gibbs ordered.

Victor finished checking his vitals and listening to his lungs. "We need to get him back to the house."

Gibbs read the look on his face and understood.

"Callen, we're going to try getting you up and moving. You think you can stand?" Victor spoke directly to Callen, trying to keep his attention present.

With a mere nod as an answer they began the arduous task of getting him off the beach to the car. By the time they reached the car, Callen was drenched in sweat from the effort and was struggling to breathe as they drove to the house. Gibbs eyes never left him.

Once they got back, while Victor was busy with Callen, Marie brought a pot of coffee to the table, "I take you for someone who likes a nice strong black coffee" she said with a smile.

"Yes, thank you." Gibbs gladly accepted the cup.

"Victor will take good care of him. He's made it this far, he's not going anywhere." Marie settled herself at the table.

"Was he really that bad?" Gibbs asked looking up from his coffee.

"It was, touch and go for a while. His father spent night after night fighting for him to stay. I'm not at all sure Callen wasn't fighting for the other team at first." Marie chuckled nervously, "Victor, how's our boy?" Marie asked as her husband entered the room.

"He's resting. Gave him something for the pain and help him relax. Before you say anything, we found out the hard way that he is sensitive to pain medication. He's fevered up again. I think he's simply exhausted himself. He's been through a lot in the last little while. However, by the amount of scars on his body. I'd guess this wasn't his first, second or third rodeo." He smiled as his wife gave him a cup of coffee.

"How do you have all these supplies?" Gibbs asked.

"Friends." He said cryptically.

"Understood." Gibbs let it drop, immediately on alert when he heard Callen yell out.

"His demons chase him in his sleep nightly. When he's fevered they are unrelenting." Marie said sadly.

"I'll go sit with him, if you don't mind." Gibbs offered.

"You go right ahead." Victor agreed. "It would be good for him to know someone is with him."

Gibbs rarely left the room for the next three days, determined that Callen would not wake up alone. He knew Marie would have been nearby but he wanted him to wake up to someone who knew him.

"You look like crap, Gibbs" Callen spoke softly as he attempted to sit up.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Gibbs stood up and stretched.

"I need to sit up. What exactly happened?" Callen asked, wincing.

"You've been out of it for the past three days. Fever broke in the night." Gibbs replied somberly.

"Look who's awake! Thought you were done scaring people." Marie teased, "Victor will be pleased. I'll go get you both some soup. Jethro Gibbs, you make sure he drinks some water" she ordered, pointing at Gibbs.

"Yes, mam" he smiled.

Callen grinned. "Guess we know who the boss is here."

"Shut up… drink your water." Gibbs replied with a smirk.

He waited until Callen had finished eating before he said much more. "You doing okay?"

"Tired" came the reply.

"Maybe if you ate more you'd get your strength back faster." Gibbs said.

"Stop, you're not my mother. I'll eat when I'm hungry." Callen scowled.

"Fair enough… So… you thought about where you're going next? You returning to Blackguard?"

Callen chewed his inner cheek as he picked at the blanket. "Haven't put much thought into it... maybe I'll freelance. I've saved enough back. I don't have to work anywhere until I feel like it.

Gibbs walked to the window and leaned against the sill. "What's going on Callen?"

"Don't know what you mean." Callen retorted.

"You damn well do. You talk like you're ready to quit. I get you need a break. You've gone nonstop for over two years with the Guard. I'm not sure how you did it for that long…" Gibbs looked at the reflection of his friend in the window's glass, "What happened to you during those two years?"

"That's none of your business." Callen's voice came across sharp and abrasive.

Gibbs turned and faced his friend, unsure of how to proceed. Callen took it out of his control, "It was a job, like all the others. There are risks you take and sometimes… well, sometimes things just don't go as planned and stuff happens… I'm tired, Gibbs. I'm tired of the games. I'm tired of being everyone's pawn, everyone's charity case. I'm really tired of finding out that the people I trusted didn't deserve it. I'm just not sure I want to do this anymore."

"Okay. You don't have to do anything right now. Take your time. Doc says you're not going to be doing much for a while anyway. You're welcome to bunk at my place until you figure it out. Plenty of beer in the fridge and steak in the freezer." Gibbs offered.

"Still have a boat in your basement?" Callen chuckled.

"Yup", Gibbs answered, waiting a moment before adding, "Abby misses you. I told her I'd bring you back with me."

"You shouldn't have. You will only disappoint her." Callen said without sentiment.

"Damn it, Callen!" Gibbs roared. "Why do you insist on running? I get you wanting to avoid LA. Trust me, I'd like nothing more than to rip them all a new one."

"Don't bother." Callen leaned back and closed his eyes, the weariness closing in.

With a sigh, Gibbs walked out of the room.

"Sounds like your talk did not go so well." Marie said softly as Gibbs walked into the kitchen.

"Unfortunately" he said, allowing his frustration to show.

"He seems lost. Garrison told us what happened… now don't go looking shocked. His secrets are safe here. The boy has been running his whole life. He finally doesn't have to. Maybe he doesn't know how to stop. Maybe he's afraid to."

Gibbs looked up at Marie. She smiled, "Yes, I've known Grisha since he was a baby. Such a sweet happy baby." She wiped the tear trailing down her cheek.

"Does he know?" Gibbs asked.

"Some. He's not in a good place to sit down and talk about his childhood." She spoke quietly, looking down the hall.

"Callen doesn't take to people keeping secrets from him. If he trusts you… don't wait" Gibbs warned.

Marie nodded as the bedroom door opened, "And just what are you doing out of bed?" Marie asked.

Gibbs pulled a chair out and pointed to it, "Sit down before you fall down."

"I'm fine. Spent too much time in bed as it is." Callen said, though he didn't argue about the chair. He was surprised at how tired the walk from the bedroom to the kitchen made him.

"Translation, you are avoiding sleep." Gibbs added.

"Either way… could I bother you for some tea?" he looked to Marie, avoiding Gibbs.

"Callen, if you think you can behave yourself and stop trying to die on us, I'm going to run over to my hotel for a while… grab some sleep. I need to check in. I'll tell Leon to pass the word on to your boss that you are on medical leave for the foreseeable future."

"Thanks, Gibbs… and I don't need to remind you that LA is off limits. Not a word." Callen challenged.

"And Ana? Does that include Ana" Gibbs looked back as he reached the door.

"Her either. She needs to move on" Callen stated, his voice held the slightest tremor at the end.

Gibbs glanced at Marie who just shook her head.

"Okay. I'll be back" Gibbs waved as he headed out.

Callen watched him leave then let out a heavy sigh.

"He's a good man. A good friend." When Callen didn't answer, she continued. "I reckon those are in short supply in your line of work."

"They are" Callen replied flatly, giving no energy to the conversation.

"And I would think… maybe... if you find one you wouldn't want to lose them…"

"Subtle, Marie"

"What? I am merely attempting conversation." Marie smiled.

"Uh-huh." Callen flashed her a rare smile.

"Feel up to eating?" She asked.

"Maybe a little later." Callen replied turning his attention back to the bottom of his cup.

"You don't eat enough to keep a bird alive." Marie scolded good naturedly. "So what does Jethro want you to do that you do not want to do?" she pushed gently while she worked around the kitchen.

"He wants me to go back with him" Callen sighed pushing the empty cup away.

"And you do not wish to return?" She asked.

"No. Not especially." Callen all but whispered.

"I see. So where will you go?" she continued.

"You trying to tell me something? Have I overstayed my welcome?" Callen asked.

Marie wasn't sure if he was simply teasing or was seriously asking, "Now don't go thinking I'm throwing you out… but you are not one to sit still, I think."

Callen shifted in his seat, nervously worrying his index finger and thumb together.

Giving a sideways glance, she watched and debated before saying anything, "Pe cealalta parte a fricii sta libertatea, Grisha.(On the other side of fear lies freedom, Grisha)" she stated softly… simply.

Callen's head came up as he looked at Marie, "What did you say?" He asked abruptly… his mind swirling through the backlog of remnant memories he couldn't place yet always stayed with him.

Marie turned and faced him, now uncertain if she should continue down this path. The intense look he now had on his face, a brightness to his eyes that reminded her of Garrison as a much younger man… another time. She moved over to the table to sit next to him. She sat with her hands in her lap as she rang the towel between them.

Callen noticed her nervousness and gently put his hand over hers to still them as he all but begged, "Say it… say it again… please."

"It is just a simple saying that has served me well over the years, dear one. 'On the other side of fear lies freedom'." Marie complied, only this time she spoke it in English.

Callen pulled his hand back and stood, beginning to pace as he started connecting the dots… when he was ready to speak, he once again took his seat at the table next to her, looking her in the eye.

"You… when you said you knew my father… my mother… you also knew me? Amy?"

Marie smiled, allowing the tears to fall. "Yes, Grisha. Yes, I knew you."


	18. Chapter 18

**DISCLAIMER: It saddens me to say it, but I do not own any of the NCIS/NCIS LA characters. On the upside... I do own all the other interesting characters within. Any resemblances are simply coincidental.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: We are celebrating here. Our house is officially sold and we are closing on our new home and adventure tomorrow. So, that being said... I have decided to share another chapter... plus also... I will be moving and then without internet until they get us hooked up... Thank you all for your kind reviews and for all of your support. I truly love this story and I am thrilled to find I am not alone. The new season has started so there will be more and more to build stories off of. I am not a fan of Mosley... but then I suspect it was meant to be that way... her assistant may prove an interesting addition to the ops center. Now, what is Hetty up to? Well, back to this story. Please read and please, please, please, review. I love hearing from you. Tally Ho! Read on good readers, read on.**

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"I knew a beautiful little boy with the same brilliant blue eyes as his 'tatic' as well as the cocky little smirk that still steals my heart after all these many years. You were such a smart, resourceful boy with a tender heart, just like your 'coana'. Amy was a beauty just like her 'mama', only with sun kissed blond hair and vibrant blue eyes. She loved you, Grisha. If ever a little boy was loved and adored, it was you." Marie stated lovingly. {tatic=daddy, coana=momma, mama=mother}

Callen grappled with that thought. Why couldn't he remember that feeling? Why did life have to always steal the least little happiness from him? The slightest bit of security he ever had was always ripped away. Why?

"It broke all our hearts when she was killed." Marie said.

A single tear fell as Callen closed his eyes and remembered that day. His mother's smile, her laugh, the fruity smell of her perfume, the sand castles and toy soldiers, the sounds of the ocean intermingled with gun fire, the blues and greens of the ocean and sky mixed with the bright crimson blood… the fear. When he forced himself to look up, his eyes were bright with tears. "Tell me. Tell me what you know." He begged.

"Oh my dear sweet Grisha. I wish I could tell you something that would make your loss any less tragic, senseless or painful but I cannot. I will tell you this, we wanted to take you and your sister into our home as our own. Sadly, we could not. It was not safe for either of you… or our family, at the time, I'm afraid. Those evil demons were too close, they would have found you. Your mother had come to stay with us until that day… when her handler, Henrietta Lange, was to come meet her on that beach and take you all to America. She never came. We had made arrangements to come back and make sure she had come. When we arrived, we knew it was over, they had found you. Word was, for whatever reason, they only killed her. They left you two babies on the beach, alone. We found you hiding in a cleft of some rocks on down the beach and brought you home. We needed to act quickly. We were unable to find your father but we knew Arkady and that he worked with Garrison. We were to meet him in Russia and he would take you both to America. So that is what we did. From that point on we never knew what had happened except for the occasional update from Garrison. I am so sorry you were separated from Amy. I never understood why you were kept apart. Then to find out that they had found her and killed her at such a young age. It was a blessing that you were not together."

"Wait… What? She fell in a river and drowned after sneaking out of the orphanage." Callen said, confused by what he was hearing.

Marie just stared at him, shocked, "Cerul cel bun… They never told you…" she said more than asked. {Cerul cel bun (Romanian: Good Heavens)}

"Who are they?" Callen demanded.

"Hetty Lange, Arkady Kolchek and Owen Granger among others. They all knew. There was nothing they could do. Garrison had told us the Comescus were always looking. It was a suicide mission for any Comescu going to America. They never came home. Owen Granger took out the ones that killed Amy. They all killed their share over the years." Marie answered as she watched Callen carefully.

"So all the homes?" Callen asked.

"As I said, I only know what I've been told over the years… Comescus were always close." She replied.

"So they would go out of their way to protect me from them yet put me with one abusive family after another! Why? I nearly died in some of those homes. Why bother saving me at all?" Callen growled.

"Your government… you don't need me to tell you that. Garrison said they kept close tabs on you. Arkady had to keep his distance... He hated that. Your Hetty did not have as much power then as she does now, though she tried, I'm sure." Marie explained solemnly.

"She is not my Hetty." Callen's voice was full of anger and resentment.

"I am sorry we couldn't have done more, draga" Marie stated softly. {draga=dear one}

"You aren't the ones who need to apologize. The ones that do, won't. They would rather keep their secrets." He replied vehemently.

"You must calm down or you will cause another setback. I am not sure how much more your body can handle." Marie begged, "You are safe now. The past serves no more purpose. You must learn to let it go. You don't need to run. Now that you have ended the Comescu family you can move forward. Find yourself a nice girl and raise a family… this Ana, perhaps." Marie smiled, patting his arm lovingly.

"Ana….Ana is Arkady's daughter." Callen said flatly. "Besides, it's not that simple. I will always have a past I can't speak of… I will always have enemies who want me dead or worse… want to torture me by killing anyone I care about. After this, I am far from anything a decent woman would want. I can't live a life full of lies… It's better this way."

Callen pulled away and slowly stood up and started down the hall. The last thing he heard as he closed the door was, "On the other side of fear lies freedom, Grisha."

As exhausted as he felt, sleep didn't come. To be honest, he was fine with that. He simply didn't need the added stress of nightmares to confuse his already muddled thoughts.

So far as he could see, Gibbs and Abby were the only ones not keeping secrets. The only ones who hadn't turned their backs on him. He also knew that going back with him meant dealing with Hetty ultimately and that meant her team and he wasn't ready for that. Maybe the truth of it was, they weren't ready for him.

His thoughts were suffocating him. This was not how he envisioned the day when he'd finally be free of the Comescus… to be able to breathe relatively free of any retaliation. Somehow, for some reason, he didn't think he'd be alone when it happened. Why he would believe it to be any other way considering the rest of his life, he didn't know.

The next morning, Marie greeted Gibbs with a strong cup of coffee and a hearty breakfast, "I was worried when you did not return last evening." Marie said softly.

"I thought Callen could use the space." Gibbs answered between bites.

"I wish it was all he needed." Marie sighed.

"Bad night" Gibbs asked, taking a sip off his coffee.

"He got no rest, which he needs desperately. He paced all night long." She replied.

Gibbs only nodded.

"He didn't eat supper and has yet to eat breakfast. Victor is concerned." She stated worriedly.

"I wish I could say I had the answers." Gibbs replied.

"Answers for what?" Callen asked walking into the room.

"How to make you understand you need to eat. You are too thin… and pale." Marie stated, placing a cup of tea on the table for him.

Callen, gingerly, lowered himself into the chair.

"You worry too much Marie" he said lifting the cup to his lips.

"Make her happy. Eat some breakfast." Gibbs said looking at him head on.

"That will make you happy?" Callen looked to Marie.

"Very much so" she replied.

"Fine. I'll eat some breakfast" Callen smiled.

"What would you like?" she asked.

"Doesn't matter" Callen answered. It really didn't these days… everything tasted the same.

Marie set a plate of eggs and a hefty portion of bacon. She knew he liked bacon. Callen forced himself to eat what he could before finally pushing the plate away.

"Feel up to a walk?" Gibbs asked.

"Drive to the beach? Callen suggested.

"We can do that." Gibbs agreed.

As they walked along the water's edge, Callen let his mind and body settle with the feel of the sand beneath his feet. The sounds around them of people laughing, the waves as they lapped up onto the sand, the seagulls. Gibbs waited to speak until Callen found a spot where he wanted to sit and rest.

"So," Gibbs said, allowing Callen the opportunity to start. Callen stared out at the horizon thinking… memories, as if being run on an old projector, skittered across his mind and like the film they found at Michael Reinhardt's, he watched with a detached sense of wonder.

"I don't know" Callen stated simply, "I don't know."

"I get it. After everything you have been through, you have every right to be confused. Take your time but no more disappearing. You don't want to go back now, fine but you let me know where you are. When you are ready, Vance wants to talk to you. Hear him out." Gibbs stated.

Callen thought for a moment then answered simply, "okay."

"Okay." Gibbs returned.

No more was said until they were pulling into the driveway. They sat for a moment. Callen's eyes were closed, his breathing even. Gibbs almost questioned if he was asleep. "I have to head back soon."

"Okay" came the solitary answer as he reached for the handle. "You staying for dinner? Cabbage rolls, I believe."

"I think I'll pass. Need to let Leon know when I'll be back."

"Alright. Let me know when you'll be heading over to pick me up." Callen said shutting the door and heading to the house.

He looked back to see Gibbs grin as he gave him a quick nod and pulled away.

That evening at dinner Callen spoke to Marie and Victor, "I want to thank you both for all you've done." Callen said quietly.

"No thanks needed. More than happy to be of help. I'm just sorry you had to go through it." Victor responded. "Marie, I think, has enjoyed mothering someone again." He laughed.

"You hush, old man" Marie said with a smile.

"Well, anyway, I wanted to thank you and tell you, I'm leaving." Callen said.

"Leaving? When? Why? It is not necessary. You are more than welcome to stay as long as you need." Marie gushed.

"I know and you have no idea how much that means to me but… it's time. I need to figure some things out. I need to figure out what my future holds." Callen explained.

"Where will you go?" Victor asked.

"Washington D.C. with Gibbs, for now. We leave tomorrow." Callen answered.

"Tomorrow? Are you sure you are ready? That's a long trip and you are not completely healed" Victor asked skeptically.

Callen gave a small smile. "I'll be fine. Gibbs will be with me" he reassured them. Although, if he were to be honest, he was already dreading the eleven hour flight.

"Well if you want to convince me that you are ready for this trip then I suggest you eat that dinner." Marie said.

"Yes, Mam." Callen replied, giving her a brief smile.

The night moved quickly, though he slept little. He was up and ready when Gibbs called with his ETA.

"Grisha… I know you feel you have been abandoned or forgotten. We never forgot you and you were always wanted here. Please remember, you always have a home here… familie." {familie=family}

"Multumesc, Marie, I will. If you ever need me… I will come." Callen replied. {multumesc=thank you}

"You give us a call and let us know you arrived safely. Don't worry about the time. Marie won't settle until she hears from you." Victor shook Callen's hand as he pulled him into a hug.

"I will" he promised.

As he pulled away and climbed into the car he gave Marie a smile in hopes of getting one in return.

"You ready for this, Callen. You look exhausted already and the days barely started." Gibbs asked already knowing the response he'd get.

"I'm fine. I'll sleep on the way" Callen assured him as he stared out the window.

Gibbs watched Callen carefully the whole trip. Though he never complained, he could see how hard it was on him. He was glad when they finally arrived.

Callen slowly pulled himself out of his seat praying his legs would hold him. "Where exactly are you parked?" Callen asked, his voice tight.

"Actually, Abby is here to pick us up. Car should be right outside the doors, knowing her." Gibbs replied, watching Callen tense and his breathing speed up.

"Callen, it's nothing to worry about. Abby thinks a lot of you. Trust me… she isn't telling anyone you're here without your say. Abby is nothing, if not loyal." Gibbs grabbed their bags then began searching for their ride home.

"Gibbs, Gibbs! Over here!" Abby yelled as she ran up and hugged him. "You did it! You brought him home. Hey, G. Callen" Abby gave him an appraising look before she opted to not maybe hug him… this time.

"Hey, Abby Sciuto" Callen returned, grabbing his middle as he coughed.

"Maybe you should sit down a minute" Abby suggested.

"I'm fine, Abby" Callen lied.

"She's right" Gibbs argued, "You don't look or sound good."

"Jethro. No, I just want to get back and lie down, please." Callen looked him in the eye… a look that begged for him to listen.

"Okay. Abby? Car?" Gibbs ordered moving closer to Callen should he collapse.

"Right outside." Abby guided them out. As Gibbs put their bags in the back, Abby helped Callen get situated in the backseat.

Leaning his forehead against the cool window Callen closed his eyes. Every bump jarred his now aching body. If he wasn't so tired, he might find himself angry for the weakness he felt. G. Callen did not often show weakness but he couldn't help it this time.

Abby watched him carefully as Gibbs drove back to his place.

"I'm assuming you're staying the night?" Gibbs asked, knowing how much she cared for Callen and would want to make sure he is settled in okay.

"Do you mind?" She asked.

"No, I don't mind. I'm actually glad." Gibbs admitted. He knew she would keep an eye on Callen so he could get some sleep. "Did you take care of what I asked you to do?" He asked quietly.

"Yep." Abby replied, looking back at the sleeping form. "He doesn't look so good." She stated.

"He's been through a lot. It's going to take time." He said casting a glance at their passenger in the rearview mirror.

"Gibbs! Who else have you told?" Callen growled as he noticed the other car in the driveway.

"Ducky is here to check you over." His friend replied, prepared for the argument ahead.

"Why? I'm not dead." Callen smirked.

Gibbs chuckled. "It's him or the hospital, your choice."

"I'm fine. I don't need to be mothered." Callen groused as he pulled himself out of the car.

"That's debatable." Gibbs said grabbing their bags. "Abs, take him to the back bedroom… Callen, you hungry?"

"No, Think I'm just going to crash for the night" Callen said softly.

"Come my boy. Let's get you settled." Ducky encouraged, shooting Gibbs a concerned look.

Ducky came out a short time later and accepted a drink from Gibbs.

"How is he?" Gibbs asked.

"Sleeping… almost before the poor boy's head hit the pillow. Lungs are clear, temp is normal, blood pressures a bit high with a rapid heart rate as well… but that's to be expected. He's severely dehydrated and exhausted." Ducky reported. "Many new scars to join a host of older ones."

"Yeah, unfortunately. Kid never could cut a break. It didn't help that he had a penchant for charging headlong into danger with no thought to his safety." Gibbs stated dryly.

"Well, he needs to take a break." Ducky said seriously, "The body can only handle so much trauma before it begins to rebel. If he doesn't give it time to heal, he may not survive the next hit it takes."

"Understood" Gibbs answered.

"Go to bed, Jethro. He's not the only one who's been burning the candle at both ends. You are exhausted as well. Now go. Abby and I will keep an eye on him.

"Thanks, I think I'll take you up on that. Just be aware… he suffers from severe nightmares. Do not go near him. Callen is dangerous on a good day. When he's in a stressful situation, dangerous can quickly escalate to deadly." Gibbs warned.

"PTSD?" Ducky asked.

"Not officially… wouldn't surprise me, considering his past." Gibbs replied.

"Childhood? Military? Agency?" Abby asked.

"All of it. He's been through more than anyone should be forced to. How he keeps going, sometimes amazes me and until that group in LA gets it together… I want them nowhere near him. Understood?" Gibbs added gruffly.

"Agreed." Abby said, the same anger evident in her voice over how they had dealt with him. Abby and Callen had struck up a friendship after he had helped save her from Tom Smith, better known as the serial killer, 'The Phantom'. The more they got to know each other, the more protective she felt of him.

"I talked to Eric the other day and it doesn't sound like they are doing so well. Eric says they've been falling apart since Callen left." Abby said.

"Serves them right. They never knew what they had. Hetty wanted to keep him safe so she took his edge away. Ended up pushing him into the most dangerous job he could have!" Gibbs growled again.

"Jethro… what are his plans, or should I ask what Vance has planned?"

"Vance wants him back with NCIS. He worked well here. Hetty had something good going and Callen was doing well… till they screwed up and threw it all away." he said giving in to a yawn.

Gibbs got up and gave Abby a peck on the cheek before turning toward the stairs.


	19. Chapter 19

**DISCLAIMER: I'm hear to say that none of the beloved characters of NCIS/NCIS LA are mine... everybody else is though, okay? Anyone even begins to seem familiar... it is a coincidence.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: HI! So everything closed and moving day is coming... then it will be a week until I have internet again. So, since I found myself with a few moments free... between falling asleep... I thought I would go ahead and share this chapter and if wanted, I might be able to add one more before all crazy hits. Just saying. Let me know what you think. I love hearing from you. So take a moment and read and then review! Share! Okay, short note today as I am falling asleep sitting here and no one wants me to be sleep typing. Have good one, y'all! Read/Review**

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The next morning, Gibbs was awakened by the smell of coffee and bacon. After A quick shower he made his way to the kitchen.

"Morning Gibbs!" Abby greeted, putting a plate of bacon on the table next to the platter of eggs and toast.

"You make all this?" Gibbs asked pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Ducky helped." Abby offered.

"Where is Ducky?" Gibbs asked, coming and sitting at the table with a plate of food.

"Right here, Jethro. Sleep well?" Ducky asked, joining them in the kitchen.

"Yes, actually. How was your night?" Gibbs looked between the two.

"Rough night, I'm afraid." Ducky set about making himself a cup of tea.

"Callen" Gibbs surmised.

"Bad nightmares all night from the sounds of it." Abby said, her eyes full of compassion and concern.

"No better or worse than most nights." A voice came from behind them.

"Callen, my boy" Ducky called out, "Join us."

Callen lowered himself into a chair at the table.

"Abby handed him a plate and a cup. He poured himself a cup of coffee and took a sip before speaking again.

"I'm sorry for keeping you awake. I don't make a very good guest, I'm afraid. Which is why I should probably find someplace else to stay." Callen apologized.

"It was no problem. We were just concerned for you." Abby replied.

"That's sweet, but don't waste your time. I'm not worth the trouble." Callen finished by getting up, taking his coffee and heading back to his room.

"Callen, you need to eat!" Gibbs called out.

"Not hungry." Callen called back as he closed the door.

"He needs to eat, Jethro. He's too thin now." Ducky advised shaking his head.

"I'll take him a plate." Abby offered.

"Thanks Abs. You mind staying here today?" Gibbs asked.

"No problem" she replied.

"Good" Gibbs said.

A few hours later Abby knocked on the bedroom door.

"Who is it?" Callen asked.

"It's me G. Callen" Abby replied.

"Come in, Abby" came the distracted reply.

"Hey, I brought you some lunch… just a sandwich and some jello." She put the plate on the table by his bed.

"Thanks Abby. I was just going to take a nap… maybe later."

"G. Callen, are you purposely starving yourself?" She asked.

"What? No." Callen answered.

"Then start eating or you will never heal enough to do anything. You have Gibbs worried. He doesn't worry easily so knock it off." Abby scolded moving the plate to his lap expectantly, "EAT"

Callen looked up into the girl's determined eyes. What he saw was genuine concern. He didn't like being the object of anyone's attention. Slowly he picked up the sandwich and took a bite and then another until half the sandwich and all the jello was gone.

"There. Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" Abby asked, not pushing him to eat the second half.

"Thank you, Abby… for everything." Callen stated.

"You're welcome. I just want you back to the G. Callen, I know." She said softly.

"I'm not even sure I know who that is anymore." Callen stated simply, looking anywhere but at Abby.

"I do. You are strong, confident in your abilities, kind and caring." Abby said.

"Pretty sure that guy no longer exists." Callen mumbled in return.

"He does too exist. You've hidden him away but he's in there… you just need to let him out." Abby insisted.

Callen sighed tiredly, "Abby, even if you're right. I wouldn't begin to know how to become that person again and that's assuming I want to. To be honest, I'm fine being who I am right now… only with more energy and less pain. I need to get back in shape. I'm doing good to make it to the living room without losing my breath."

"Then you need to eat, whether you feel like it or not."

Callen knew she was right. If he wanted to get back into fighting form, he needed to eat regardless of his appetite. He couldn't afford to remain this weak for long. He had too many enemies.

Over the next few months, he began walking each day. Most days he preferred to do it alone but as time went on, he appreciated the walks with Abby. She never pushed for him to talk and he was almost happy to listen to her chatter on about her team mates and cases. He seldom paid much attention to the details but enough that he could comment or reply.

"Do you miss it?" She asked one day.

"Miss what?" he asked in return.

"Being a part of a team?" Abby answered.

Callen thought for a moment, "I guess, in some ways. Not enough to want to be on another team again. I tried it once and it didn't work out any more than simply having a partner did."

"You know they were wrong. They had no right to treat you like that." She added.

"Doesn't matter anymore. It is what it is. It came as no real surprise. When you know it's coming, it doesn't hurt so much." He lied and Abby knew it but said no more.

"So, what are your plans tomorrow?" She asked, changing the subject.

"I don't know… I think I'm going to head over to the base and work out in the gym."

"Oh, are you sure you're ready" Abby asked.

"Abby, I've been here for two months. I've done as much as I can here. I need more. I'm bored." Callen explained.

"Stop by when you're done and we can go to lunch… you're still too skinny… Ducky said so." Abby said.

"Fine, I'll spend the morning at the gym and come by for lunch." Callen agreed.

"Good… bring me a calf-pow." She grinned.

"I will do that." Callen chuckled.

"Christmas is coming." Abby stated.

"And?" Callen asked guardedly.

"Well, I was wondering what your plans are?" She asked.

"I don't do Christmas" Callen stated flatly.

"Oh, okay…" Abby replied sadly.

Callen's gaze flitted over to Abby… with a sigh he dared to ask, "What's on your mind, Abs?"

"No. Nothing. I was just…"

"Abby" Callen pushed.

"Okay, well, on Christmas Eve I usually go to help with the Christmas dinner at the homeless shelter. Gibbs goes… I just thought maybe."

"I don't know Abs… Can I think about it?" Callen asked.

"Sure, no pressure." She responded happily. "I have to go now, but I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Tomorrow" he confirmed.

'No pressure' she had said but Callen knew better. Abby was a tender soul who couldn't help herself. She was always helping someone. It was part of her genetic make-up, he was convinced. As much as he was convinced she needed to be protected. He was glad she had Gibbs watching out for her. If he were smart, he'd tell Abby to stay clear of Callen. She didn't need to be drawn into his miserable existence. If he, himself were smart he'd distance himself from her… but truth was, the time he spent with her was the only time he felt even remotely normal and a little less damaged. It was a selfish move on his part, he knew… but her friendship was one of his few prized possessions. So, he'd accept her invite because he couldn't bear to see her hurt expression when he said no. Perhaps his soul wasn't completely warped after all.

Gibbs, not unlike Callen, was not a fan of the bells and whistles of holiday decorations, so Callen was surprised when he walked into the house on Christmas Eve and found a tree set up in the corner of the living room with boxes all around. Putting his coat and bag in his room, he headed for the basement.

"Hey, Callen"

"Gibbs, you into Christmas now? Callen stated, pulling up a stool.

"Nope."

"Then what's with the tree?" Callen asked.

"It's for Abby" Gibbs answered.

"Abby? Doesn't she put one up at her place?" Callen quizzed curiously.

"Don't know, Callen. I do know, she comes here for Christmas and she wants a tree."

Callen chuckled, "Okay, Cool. Don't you think you should decorate it then?"

"Nope. That's her job. After we work at the kitchen, she'll come here for the night." Gibbs stated.

"Right. Crap… forgot about that. I need to get a shower. She isn't gonna wake us up at 5 a.m. to open gifts, is she?" Callen smirked.

As if either of us would still be asleep." Gibbs answered with a smirk of his own.

"Touche`" Callen Replied as a memory of Deeks attempting to explain to Kensi how the word was used properly. He started back up the stairs and stopped. "Gibbs"

"Don't worry about it. Nobody is expecting gifts." Gibbs answered knowing what his concern was.

Callen nodded as he continued on up the stairs. It wasn't long before Gibbs heard the shower turn on and by the time he finished up and had gotten upstairs to clean up himself, Callen was done and ready to go. Abby was there visiting with him, trying to convince Callen to help her decorate the tree later. Callen was trying to explain why that was not going to happen but Abby was Abby and her youthful excitement had him on the verge of giving in when Gibbs walked in.

Don't do it. Callen… you do and then she'll expect me to." Gibbs grumbled.

"No fair, Gibbs" Abby pouted.

"We better be going." Gibbs said, ignoring Abby's attempt at guilting them into anything.

As they walked to the car, Gibbs walked up to Callen and murmured quietly, "you don't have to go… I know it dredges up memories best forgotten. She'll understand."

"Honestly, there's an unending stream of 'best forgotten' that haunts my sleep… especially this time of year. Makes no difference. It's my gift to Abby" Callen replied.

"Okay" Gibbs said as he climbed in the driver side.

Callen found that the memories of yesteryear were not as overwhelming as the amount of people that crowded in.

Gibbs felt his unease and stayed close. He watched how Callen frequently scanned the room for threats and at one point when someone had dropped their tray he noticed how Callen immediately tensed and his hand went to his lower back for his gun… Gibbs just as quickly grabbed his arm and whispered near his ear, "Just a tray, Callen… it's good…" Callen shot a glance toward Gibbs and then put his focus back on the task at hand.

Callen couldn't have been happier when they were finally done and they were free to go.

"Thanks for coming tonight, Callen. I know they appreciated it." Abby said as they drove home.

"No problem, Abby. Glad to do it," he replied, ignoring Gibbs look.

"You ever volunteer at one before?" Abby asked, "You seemed to know your way around."

"Never stood on that side of the counter, no" Callen said softly, before quickly adding, "But Deeks does. He's like you in that regard. Giving back to the community. He volunteers a lot."

"Really?" Abby replied then added, "So who's up for Christmas cookies and tree trimming."

Gibbs groaned then teasingly said, "You playing that Christmas music, again?"

"Gibbs, it's Christmas. What else would I play? Callen?" She asked.

"Thanks but I think I'm going to decline. I'm feeling kind of tired."

"Oh, OK." Abby stated as she looked in the rear view mirror, Catching Gibbs gaze.

The next morning, Callen laid in bed listening to Gibbs and Abby in the kitchen… it was soon joined by Tim and shortly thereafter, Tony and Ziva then Ducky. He could smell the food cooking and coffee brewing and no doubt tea for Ducky. With a heavy sigh he showered and dressed before attempting to be the very last thing he felt like being… social.


	20. Chapter 20

**DISCLAIMER: Last I checked, I still don't own one character from NCIS/NCIS LA. It's sad but true. So, I created some of my own characters to ramble through the chapters on my behalf. Should there be any resemblances to people living or not... it is entirely coincidental, I swear.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hey there. So I'm busy nestling into our new home. They were kind enough to come a day early to put in the internet. So, as I sit here resting from the day's craziness, I decided to pop on here and post a chapter. I hope you enjoy it. It's just one adventure after another. Life is such a journey... especially for Callen, and that's okay. Please take the time to leave a review after your read. I really do enjoy hearing from you! You make my day. Anyway, here you go... read... enjoy... and review. Have an awesome day!**

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"Merry Christmas, Callen," Gibbs handed him a coffee.

"What, no spiked egg nog available? You could have warned me."

"Yeah, well, I didn't need one of your disappearing acts." Gibbs mumbled under his breath.

They were interrupted once Abby caught sight of him, "G. Callen! Merry Christmas!" Abby hugged him. Few dared to even touch him these days, for fear of what he'd do. His body always tensed and on alert… but Abby was different. She was one of the few he'd never see as a threat.

"Merry Christmas, Abby Sciuto."

"I was afraid you'd escape out the window" she whispered in his ear before releasing him from their hug.

"Run from you? Never." He smiled with all the charm he could muster.

Callen stayed to the outskirts of the day's festivities, always near an accessible escape, if needed. He watched them interact as a group. Just like another team he once knew... and just like here, he always felt like he didn't belong. It wasn't really anything to do with them, actually… only that they didn't understand. If they didn't understand then… they sure wouldn't now.

"It is never easy." Ziva said softly as she sat down next to him.

"Nope. It gets harder every day." Callen replied.

"People like us… like you, like me, like Gibbs… the things we've seen… done… it is hard to be normal… to be…"

"This…" Callen finished.

"Yes… this…" Ziva confirmed.

"Gibbs seems okay with it." Callen said watching Gibbs join in the festivities.

"Mmmm" Ziva hummed in agreement. Gibbs has had more time to put it behind him."

"Your team, do they know what you've had to do in the Kidon." Callen asked, watching her closely.

"Some, I have not seen a reason to share with them the details of my past with the Kidon." Ziva replied.

"Even Tony?" Callen asked quietly.

"Tony? Tony would not understand. It is better this way. He knows enough. He does not need details.

"Don't you find it hard to be a part of this?" Callen asked.

"Sometimes, yes. But they don't let me forget that I belong here now… even when I do not think so. Abby is…. persistent." Ziva flashed him a rare smile.

"That she is", he chuckled before growing serious. "Guess that's the difference between us. I don't belong anywhere… not here… certainly not in LA" Ziva could hear the loss in his voice.

"Do they know?" She asked in return.

"What? That I'm a glorified assassin for the government?" I would say yes. He answered sourly.

"Do they know that it is not your first foray into that world?" She clarified.

Callen looked over at her again. "They know I worked for the CIA. Whether they understood that I did things…" He thought of how to word it but decided to leave it, "If they didn't know before… I reckon they know now. Hetty can't keep her nose out of anything. Doesn't matter. They made it clear a long time ago that they didn't trust me… that I didn't belong there. It's why I left in the first place. Doesn't stop them from judging my every move." Callen said coldly.

"You are a good man, Agent G. Callen. I would go to battle by your side any day. I know you. I've seen what you are capable of. It is a difficult life you and I chose. We cannot undo the things we have done, un-see the things we've seen. We can only move forward. Perhaps your old team does not deserve you… but I have seen how you protected them, cared for them, fought for them… I know how much you cared for Hetty Lange. I am sorry. You could stay here." Ziva offered.

"I don't know, Ziva… I'm thinking maybe there is only one path left for me. Normal is something I'll never be… When I chose to go back to the CIA and Blackguard, I gave up having any chance at this" he said motioning at the group in front of them with a nod… I'm tired of pretending I can. These days, I don't have the energy to smile even if I could find a reason to.

"And trusting anyone is beyond your capability?" Ziva finished his thought with a question.

"Trust is just a word, nothing more." Callen said lowly.

"Do you trust Gibbs?" She asked.

"Do I believe he'd have my back? I have no reason not to yet." Callen gave as an open ended answer.

"And me?" Ziva questioned.

"Should I? I know who you are. I know what you've done. I've been out there with you. You've never given me reason to doubt you…"

"But you don't trust us…" Ziva said softly.

"Like I said, trust is just a word people throw around when it suits them. I believe in you and Gibbs more than most… except maybe Abby." Callen replied.

"So, why is here not a good place to be?" Ziva queried.

"It's not you, it's not Gibbs… or anyone else. It's me. I'm angry all the time. I hate more than I don't. I don't even trust myself. The only job that's safe for me and everyone else I care about… is doing what I'm good at… anything else and I risk them getting hurt or worse. Sam and Kensi were right. They have lives outside the job. The job is my life. I've never really been afforded much else. Callen explained.

"Callen, The mossad, the Kidon, they are my past… just as the Blackguard is yours."

"There's the rub. I can't ever outrun my past. It's always there. Truth is, I'm tired of running... and I'm not sure the Guard IS my past. It may be my only choice at this point." Callen said, his voice void of any emotion.

"It is not time for that decision." Ziva encouraged…"

"I can't just do nothing forever, Ziva. Gibbs deserves to have his house back." Callen said

"Gibbs is glad to have you here. You need to give your body a break." Ziva encouraged.

"Ducky has been talking, I see."

"Well, you have more choices than you know. Until then… we must work out at the gym together. I have seen you. You have learned many new moves. You could be a worthy opponent to spar with." Ziva offered.

"Oh really. What about Tony?" Callen looked over at Ziva with a slight grin.

"I would break him" Ziva smiled in return at the laugh Callen gave.

"You have a charming laugh, G. Callen. You should do it more often. Next week, at the gym. I'm there every morning." Ziva said as she excused herself to join the group.

Callen waited and watched a few more minutes before grabbing his coat and heading for the door.

"Where are you going, Callen?" Gibbs asked as he passed by.

"Out. I'm a big boy, Jethro. Don't need you fretting all over me… you're not my mother. I'll be back… later." With that, he headed out the door, passing Leon Vance as he went.

Vance cast a glance over his shoulder at the disappearing figure as he entered the house.

"Leon." Gibbs called out.

"Merry Christmas, Gibbs" he greeted in return, "How are things?" he asked pointedly.

"If you're asking about Callen… he's bored, Leon." Gibbs stated plainly.

"In other words, not good." Leon responded.

"A bored Callen is never a good thing." Gibbs said with a chuckle, "Food and drink are over there. Help yourself."

"Thank you, I will in a minute. However, I may have a solution for Agent Callen's boredom." Leon remarked with a devious smile.

"And" Gibbs pushed.

"Allow him to work as a floating agent… special missions through NCIS. He chooses the team he needs on a case by case basis. Gives him the freedom from partners, the power to choose only those he trusts and give him the safety net we all want for him to have. Think he'd be interested?" Leon asked.

"Ask him. I don't know where his head is at but if we don't do something soon… Blackguard will be calling and I believe he will go." Gibbs replied.

"He is correct, Director" Ziva added, "I did not mean to eavesdrop, but Callen is indeed considering going back. He feels there are few options left open to him."

"I see. Very well, tell him to see me after the holidays are over." Leon ordered.

"Will do." Gibbs replied.

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Callen hated the cold. It was one reason he moved to LA. He missed the warm sand beneath his feet, the ocean breeze in his face. He felt as if there was something else he was missing yet couldn't figure out what it was.

He kept walking, despite the cold because going back to that group of people who were so intricately connected through their work was just not an option. Their closeness was intriguing yet suffocating. What worked for them had proved such a failure in his own experience. There were good times… moments when he almost believed it possible to be happy, content even. He remembered Nell's overly spiked eggnog and everyone teasing her, himself included. The palm tree he and Sam had insisted, to Hetty's dismay, was a California Christmas tree. The hand gun cookies made in the incinerator Nell had rigged to double as an oven. Two Christmases with Joelle… before… and the Christmas they all broke into his house to decorate… sang carols on his front lawn at the top of their lungs. The same year they lied. Then again, maybe they hadn't… maybe he just did what he has always done since he was a kid… screwed up and proved he wasn't worth the effort. Either way, results were the same. He'd never trust anyone with his heart again. Once again, the anger that simmered just below the surface reared up. He was deluding himself if he thought for even a minute he belonged anywhere else but Blackguard. Yes, Ducky said he was pushing his luck… that his body had no reserve at this point. The next time he might not be so lucky… 'If only' he thought dryly.


	21. Chapter 21

**DISCLAIMER: NCIS/NCIS LA are still not mine, all the others still are.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey there! So, I big HUGE thank you to everyone who is following, favoriting, reading, and especially reviewing! You have truly given my confidence a boost! I am so happy you are enjoying it. This chapter is maybe not the most exciting but it does give us a clue as to what everyone is thinking right now. One of the things I truly love is when you review and tell me your thoughts on what YOU think the characters are doing and why... where YOU think they are headed... I can't decided, however, when I'm more excited. When your thoughts are in line with mine... or when I know I'm about to turn your thoughts on end. Keep those reviews coming and maybe I'll figure it out before the story ends... which isn't for a while yet, so we have time. Enjoy and have an awesome rest of your day... or evening depending are where you are!**

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"We could have had him, Sam" Deeks stated as they were walking into the mission.

"Not without the risk of casualty" Sam said evenly.

"He's right. It was solid. I had my partner's back," Kensi said in agreement with Deeks.

"So you were okay with putting your husband's life in danger?" Sam argued.

"I wasn't in any danger. I trust my partner." Deeks reasoned, growing annoyed with the repeat argument and Sam's lack of conviction in following through in the field.

"Problem is, Marty… Sam doesn't trust your partner. He doesn't think I have your back." Kensi challenged.

"I didn't say that, Kensi."

"Are you sure? Actually, it shows in the way you constantly feel you have to protect me by short changing the mission!" Kensi's voice had escalated, once again drawing everyone's attention to the bullpen for yet one more fight, "I'm a well-trained agent and I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself and my partner!"

"Yeah, well we all know who trained you. I don't need another agent who thinks they can do everything themselves or believes they are invincible." Sam responded hotly.

"Are you kidding me? Callen was a great mentor. He covered your butt enough on cases. Callen was just as concerned about this team as you are… but he taught us to trust our training… not run away." Kensi yelled.

Ana rarely intervened in these arguments. Sam was her partner. Truth was, she agreed with Kensi, but she also understood Sam's angst. His wife had been an agent and he didn't want that pain of loss for either of them. The problem of leaving them together on the same team was a valid one but as it turned out, more because of Sam than either Deeks or Kensi… The only reason there hadn't been more of an issue made was because Hetty knew where the problem lie. She had hoped with time things would improve but it was now affecting the entire team.

"Ohhhh, Saaaaaaam," Hetty called out in a melodic tone, "A moment please?"

With a heavy sigh, Sam put his things on the desk and headed over to Hetty's office.

"Sit please," Hetty motioned to the chair in front of her desk.

"You need something Hetty?" Sam asked, knowing what was coming.

"It has come to my attention and pretty much everyone else's, that there appears to be some tension within your team. Would you care to explain?" Hetty asked looking over the top of her glasses.

"Nothing we can't handle." Sam answered.

"Really? It does not appear so. This has become more of a problem with each case that comes. You are the leader of a highly trained team. They are all good agents. Mr. Hanna, you need to let them do their job."

"And you need to trust me to lead them. My style is very different from our past leader. I don't believe in taking unnecessary risks. There are better ways to do things than risk the team's life in the process. It may take a little longer but we will get him." Sam explained.

"Oh, Mr. Hanna… trusting you to have your team's best interests at heart is not my problem. My concern is for your well-being. You are so set at proving you were right about Mr. Callen that you are not being true to yourself and your own leadership abilities. Trust your team's training. I think you will find they are still up to the task and they won't let you down. It is understandable that your first instinct would be to protect at all cost those you hold dear… after everything that has happened.

"Hetty, don't… we're not going there." Sam's voice held an edge to it.

"All the same, Sam. However, consider that Mr. Callen was very much that way… but his way was to make sure his team was ready and sometimes it was to push back and go it alone in order to keep you all safe. Perhaps you are in such a hurry to do things differently that you have, in fact, come full circle."

"Hetty, this has nothing to do with Callen and everything to do with making sure we all come home at the end of the day."

"You're are good man, Sam, but you are suffocating your team. You need to let them do their job." Hetty advised.

"Fine. I'm changing up partners. I don't think Kensi and Deeks should be partners anymore." Sam stated.

"Okay. Perhaps… but sometimes the very thing we expect to be our weakness is actually what makes us our strongest." Hetty replied, "Go, Mr. Hanna… those reports won't write themselves."

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"I can't believe he's splitting us up!" Kensi said on their way home that evening. "We didn't do anything wrong."

Deeks gave a soft chuckle, "Honestly, I'm a little surprised they didn't do it before now. We're married, Kensi. That goes against all protocol."

As they pulled up in front of the house, they just sat, silent. Kensi whispered, "I miss him."

"Yeah, me too." Deeks responded, taking her hand in his, making no move to exit the car.

"He wouldn't have done this." she said softly.

"He threatened to once." Deeks corrected.

Kensi shot him a look of disbelief, "What? When?"

Brushing the hair out of his eyes, he smiled remembering the night they had that conversation.

"Remember the night we all came to check on him after the Joelle fiasco?" Deeks asked.

"How could I forget?"

He knew he wouldn't. He thought back to the pile of broken furniture representative of a broken trust in someone he cared for? The site of Callen sawing that table in half and breaking up the chairs was a mix of fear and concern he would likely never forget. "Yeah, well, as you may recall, you'd had a rough day dealing with Ferris… I had a really bad day trying to find you before it was too late. It didn't go unnoticed. Callen told me that he wouldn't stick his nose in our business unless our business interfered with work and it almost did that day… so he said I needed to figure it out or he would figure it out for me.

"See? Callen wouldn't be acting out toward us like Sam is. It's not just us either, Marty. Sam is always on edge, angry. We are taking twice as long on cases as we ever did with Callen. He would assess the case, make a plan and then delegate. Sure, sometimes plans changed but he did it on the move," Kensi said.

"Well, Sam has been through a lot. When he lost Michelle, he lost a big piece of himself. I don't know about you but I can't begin to imagine that kind of pain. If I lost you… I don't know what I would do. I guess I can understand why he's reacting the way he does. He doesn't want that kind of pain for either of us." Deeks sympathized.

"I understand that and no, I can't fathom my life without you in it. I know he must be angry and hurt. Still, Callen has lived his entire life dealing with the pain of loss. He didn't let it stop him from doing the job." Kensi countered.

"Everybody deals differently. I do think Sam misses Callen. I also think he resents his not being here for him." Deeks said.

"I don't know. Arkady flat out told him that Callen has had his back the whole time he's been gone. He even saved his family from an attack. You'd think he'd appreciate it instead of tearing him down for how he led our team… or how he trained me!" Kensi thought for a moment then asked softly, "Do you think Sam blames us for not finding her sooner?"

"No, I don't think so. I think if he blames anyone, it's himself." Deeks attempted to assure her and perhaps himself as well.

"You ever think about Callen? Where he is now? What he's doing?"

"Yeah, sometimes. It's hard not to. Nothing has been the same sense he left. If I hadn't gotten shot that second time, none of this would have ever happened. Hard to believe how long ago that was." Deeks answered, leaning his head back against the headrest.

"I just hope he's okay now." Kensi said as she finally opened her door to get out. Deeks followed, saying nothing more.

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Callen came out of the locker room freshly showered following his latest workout with Ziva. She had proved a worthy sparring partner, as well as, a teacher. He was always a good street fighter… his childhood had offered him that training. Over the years of working the other agencies he'd picked up a few different fighting styles… boxing, karate, Jujitsu, Pranayama for controlled breathing. Sam knew little of what he could do, in all reality. Hetty seemed to think him incapable of protecting himself. Sam was the muscle in the group… So Callen let him for the most part. He'd gotten rusty during his time with NCIS… it was nice to get back to it.

He was finally feeling as if he were back to the top of his game. He felt more in control. Ziva had also proven to be a pleasant distraction. He had asked her about her relationship with Tony to which she assured him they were just partners. He was nobody's dummy. He could see the attraction they had for each other. He saw the same thing early on with Deeks and Kensi… who were now married. He also knew that Gibbs was not as forgiving of such relationships with his team as Hetty was. Ziva knew of his relationship with Ana… if you could truly call it that. She also knew it was over. Truth was, he'd always felt a draw towards Ziva. Maybe because they understood each other and accepted each other as is. Right now, that's what he needed. Another time, another place and he would have felt bad, but these days he wasted little energy on such notions and since Ziva was in agreement, who was he to argue?

If Gibbs picked up on it, he said nothing to him.

Callen headed through the bullpen towards the elevator when Leon called him back, "Callen! Could you come to my office please?"

Callen turned towards the voice and debated. Vance could see his reticence, "Agent Callen, my office." He knew he held no power over him as he wasn't officially an NCIS agent anymore. Ziva caught Callen's eye and with an encouraging look, he turned and dropped his bag at her desk and trotted up the steps to the office.


	22. Chapter 22

**DISCLAIMER: No matter how many chapters I post... the wonderfully delightful characters of NCIS/NCIS LA are just not mine. It's a different story for every other character you meet throughout... they are absolutely, one hundred percent mine... and resemblances are entirely coincidental.**

 **A/N: Hello! A great big thanks goes out to each and every one of you who have supported this story from the beginning. You are so very much appreciated. Sitting here getting ready to watch the latest episode and I found myself editing this chapter. I figured I might as well post it. Hope you enjoy it... it's getting interesting! Please read and review! I had a new reviewer this week... THANK YOU! I love hearing your thoughts on things... It's fun seeing who is on the same page and who comes up with interesting new insights! Go read and review! Please.**

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Vance motioned to the extra chair by his desk. "What do you need, Director?" Callen asked, sitting down and eyeing him closely.

"I have a proposition for you. Am I to presume you have made no definite decisions where you are going?" Leon asked.

"The choices are few, as you well know Director. If one survives being in the Renegades, they are seldom wanted elsewhere. We are… unpredictable, volatile, persona non grata. Once a Renegade, always a Renegade." Callen answered glibly.

"Are you? …unpredictable, volatile?" Vance asked, eyeing him in return. He watched the trademark smirk pull at his lips, his eyes lit. "When wasn't I?"

"Can you work in the confines of a controlled agency? Your 'license to kill', if you will, would be unusable here…"

"Are you offering me a job, Leon?" Callen asked, "You know the 'Guard' isn't going to let go so easily."

"Do you really want to go back to that life?" Leon asked carefully.

"I'm good at it. I've gotten rid of a lot of security threats." Callen stated, deflecting the question but Leon refused to play along.

"Perhaps, but that's not what I asked." His voice serious.

Callen shifted in his seat and gave a sigh, "What do you want, Leon?"

As he leaned back in his chair, Leon looked at the man across from him. He'd known Callen for a long time… known OF him even longer. He knew the business and he was very good at his job, regardless of what agency he'd been with. He'd kept going when lesser men would have thrown in the towel. He couldn't help but be amazed at the way he kept coming back from his injuries only to move forward as if they never occurred… never shying away from danger and what needed done. Aside from Gibbs and maybe Ziva, he'd never seen anyone who could compartmentalize their lives like Callen did. When it came to aliases and going undercover… he was born to it. Callen had turned it into an art form without trying. However, he was also very unpredictable and even volatile at times… two things that kept him alive in the field… and dangerous, perhaps, even for those who worked with him. Now after two plus years working with the governments elite killers, there were reasons they all struggled to find other work.

Callen watched. He knew Leon had to be debating the folly of his plan, "okay, well, nice visit, Leon, but you and I both know this is a waste of time." Callen said getting up to leave.

"Sit." He ordered, "I want you back with NCIS. I want you to be a team lead." Leon began before being interrupted.

"Not happening. I don't work with a partner or a team."

"You have, though. Your last mission," Leon challenged, "Not to mention a very successful eight years with our LA branch, regardless of how it appeared to end."

"We won't discuss LA. As for my last mission, that was a rarity and I chose that team myself." Callen threw back.

"…which is what I'm offering" Leon said.

Intrigued, Callen sat back down, "I'm listening."

"You'd be given your case load. You go over it and decide who you need for a team. It would be case by case, you give me the names and whatever else you require and I will make it happen." Leon waited patiently as he mulled over the offer.

He did consider the offer. He thought through the many benefits and just as many deficits, "Why?" Callen asked.

"Because you deserve better. You are a valuable asset with a lot of promise. You think the powers that be aren't aware of your extracurricular activities… saving several missing agents that would have otherwise died had you not been there. You've gained a lot of respect for that from all the agencies concerned.

"Don't have a clue what you are talking about." Callen shrugged nonchalantly.

Leon gave a smile, "No, I'm sure you don't. Callen you are a good agent with good instincts. Regardless of what happened in LA, you're one of the best damn agents I have ever worked with. Now, will you stay or will you go back to the Blackguard, with all their many charms?"

"They're not just going to let me go. I've already talked about it with them. They want me to do the occasional job for them." Callen explained.

"And you are okay with doing that still?" Leon asked.

"Didn't say that… but it's a job that needs done. What you do here, what other agencies do… it's all important and I don't deny it but way too many of the bad guys are getting away and your hands are tied. With the Renegades, that isn't a problem." Callen asserted.

"You think you can separate the two jobs on a case?" Leon asked skeptically.

"Well, you either trust me or you don't, Leon. I reckon time will tell us both something." Callen returned a challenge of his own.

"Fair enough." Leon held his hand out, "However, you will be an NCIS agent first and foremost. You do anything for Renegades, you will take one agent of your choice to have your back."

Callen bristled, "Leon!"

"No argument Agent Callen," he replied.

Callen's eyes narrowed and then a smirk crept onto his face, "Fine. Ziva… I have to take backup, I want Ziva David."

"Ziva? Very well, if she's not on a case and she's agreeable."

"Fine. Where's home base, and who do I answer to?" he asked, appearing more relaxed.

"You will answer directly to me. There's a desk on the other side of Gibbs… unless you think you'll kill each other." Leon chuckled.

Callen stood up and headed for the door. "Shouldn't be a problem. We aren't working together and he's not my boss… should be fine. When do I start?"

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow then." Callen closed the door behind him as he headed down the stairs. Gibbs and Ziva both looked up to meet his gaze.

"Well," Gibbs asked expectantly.

"Tomorrow"

"Good" Gibbs watched as he grabbed his bag and gave Ziva a quick look before leaving. As the elevator door closed, her phone alerted. He caught the smile it brought to her face as well as the curious frown it brought to Tony's… he said nothing. All of a sudden, it became very clear that this could prove challenging.

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"Good work today, Ana" Deeks said as they were getting into the car.

"Thanks, Marty. I'm just glad it's over."

"I hear ya."

"I thought once he switched us out as partners he'd settle down, but he hasn't." Ana remarked as they headed back to the mission.

"I know. Doesn't surprise me though. You can't fix something until you admit what's broken in the first place. Sam misses his wife. He's never found peace from how she died… and I don't think he will until Callen comes back, if he comes back." Deeks stated.

"I fear you may be right." Ana agreed, "They brought the best out in each other."

Deeks nodded, "Sam was Callen's anchor. I think he could lose himself in the work if not for Sam. Callen, on the other hand, forced Sam to think outside the box when dealing with cases… Sam would tell me about the stunts he'd pull when they'd follow up leads.

"And…" Ana encouraged.

Deeks chuckled, "you know, they went into this one bar looking for someone… Russians. They weren't cooperating and one was getting edgy. Callen picked up on it. He worked his way up to the bar, took the bottle of vodka and took in a nice swig while his other hand managed to pick up the lighter off the bar…"

"No!" Ana gasped… starting to laugh, "He didn't…"

Laughing as well, Deeks answered, "Oh yeah, spit fire right in the face of the bar tender. All hell broke loose but when the smoke cleared, Callen held the AK and his own gun… neither of them the worse for wear as they stared at a room of bruised and slightly charred Russians. They were a little more willing to cooperate then. HA! Sam was clueless to his plan but he backed him up. Even when he tried to speak with him afterwards, Callen just said he knew Sam would follow his lead… then asked for some Chapstick."

They both laughed for a moment. "Callen was never boring." Deeks said.

"No, he wasn't…" Ana whispered then cleared her throat and continued, "Callen truly trusted Sam. I don't think Sam ever knew just how much Callen depended on him, believed in him."

"I know. They made one hell of a team." Deeks agreed, "Which is why I still say Sam won't be able to move on till there is closure. Callen was may be the only one who really could have helped Sam move past what happened to Michelle so he could grieve over the loss. Arkady ever say anything in regards to Callen's whereabouts?"

"No, if he knows, he's not sharing with me… he's extremely loyal to Callen." Ana replied, "If Callen wanted me to know, he would have found a way."

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Gibbs glanced up as Callen dropped his coffee and bag on his desk before sitting down. He said nothing to anyone. It wasn't unusual for him to withdraw when coming back from a mission for Blackguard. Ziva followed shortly thereafter, giving Gibbs a look of understanding.

Callen had been back to work for nearly two months. For the most part, things had gone well. Gibbs knew when Callen revisited his darker aliases that it took longer for him to get them back in the closet than the others. The one required for him to work for the Renegades was maybe, no, definitely the darkest and took the longest. So when he looked up towards the balcony and saw the concerned look on Leon's face he gave a reassuring nod that said he had his eye on things.

"You okay, Callen?" Gibbs asked quietly looking his friend over for any sign of injury.

"I'm fine, Gibbs… I'll be in the gym if anyone needs me." Callen got up and walked away.

"Ziva, what's going on?" Gibbs asked. Noticing they had caught the attention of McGee and Tony, "Don't you have work to do?"

"Heading to the lab now boss." McGee stammered getting up and glancing over at Tony, who also received a glare from Gibbs.

"Yes, boss, what he said. Going now boss" Tony replied getting nothing from Ziva as he cast her a glance when passing her desk.

"Ziva… I repeat, what's going on?"

"He's tired… that's all." She replied.

"Did something happen?" Gibbs demanded.

"No, they just gave him several tough jobs this time." She answered.

"Interrogations or…" Gibbs started to ask.

"Two interrogations and two slaps" Ziva offered.

"You mean hits… not slaps." Gibbs corrected trying not to laugh at yet another verbal slip up.

"Hits" she corrected then shrugged as she continued, "The interrogations are difficult… perhaps even more so than the killing. He is very smooth when it comes to those… he does not care for the business of forcing people to talk. It takes its toll on him. He needs to walk away Gibbs, before he can no longer reconcile it within himself."

"Understood. I don't think that's the only things he's not reconciled with." Gibbs stated.

"LA, you mean?" Ziva asked.

"Yeah, LA" Gibbs got up and headed out to catch up with Callen. He finally found him in the armory cleaning his gun, "Thought you were going to the gym."

"Too many people. Needed some quiet," Callen responded, not looking up.

"So you came to the shooting range," Gibbs said more than asked.

"Guns don't talk… What do you want, Jethro?"

"Ran into Vance on my way down here. He has a case for you. Wants me to make sure you are up to it," Gibbs replied.

"I said I'm fine. What's the case about, he say?" Callen asked as he finished putting his gun together and started cleaning up the work space.

"All I know is, it's in LA. Vance will give you the details." He watched as Callen began to seethe.

"Oh hell NO." Callen yelled, "LA? Is he serious?"

"Yes, I'd say he is… and I think you should go." Gibbs said evenly.

"You do, huh? I don't remember asking your opinion." Callen looked him in the eye as his temper began to flare.

"Time to deal with things back there. Too many things have been left undone." Gibbs replied, not rushing to the challenge, "Go… see what the case is about."

Callen shot him another look while holstering his gun and grabbing his bag. He left without another word.

Gibbs shook his head. Since accepting the position with NCIS, Callen had slipped back into old habits. He had moved from Gibbs house and had taken to temporary stays at various places and no one ever knew where. He was certain Callen was spending time with Ziva and once or twice Abby had talked him into staying at her place a few nights. It frustrated him to see Callen slip back to where he started when Hetty created that team… which only fueled his anger for the LA unit. They created a home for him and he'd finally seemed settled only to have it ripped out from under him. From everything he'd heard via Abby's interactions with Eric Beale and Arkady… Callen wasn't the only one self-destructing. Thanks to Sam, it appeared the entire team was about to self-combust and while he didn't know if their friendships could be salvaged, he did know they needed closure one way or the other.


	23. Chapter 23

**DISCLAIMER: No matter how much I wish, they still do not belong to me... at least the characters of NCIS/NCIS LA... everyone else is mine. Should any of them seem familiar to you... it is merely coincidental.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews and for everyone who is taking time to read. I am so appreciative for the time you take out of your day to support this story. This is a rather short chapter as chapters go... but hey... we are getting closer to the face off in LA... It's going to be interesting... we are little more than half way through now... still lots to happen before the end... hope you stick around and read and review until then. Enjoy. If I get enough time and you are interested, I might be convinced to put up another chapter before weekends end. Let me know what you think!**

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"What the hell, director… LA?" Callen yelled upon entering the office.

"Welcome back, Agent Callen. I see Gibbs found you." Leon ignored the outburst, "Take a seat and I will explain."

"Fine, explain." Callen growled.

"I realize you don't want anything to do with the OSP. However, this case needs handled capably and it has come to my attention that the team there is struggling."

"They have other teams," Callen stated angrily. He'd heard about the struggles within the team. He couldn't believe Sam had let things get so bad.

"Not with your experience. Let me explain and I think you will understand. Word has it that there is a new drug cartel starting up in LA. The Vidales. They are also into selling arms. The big stuff. Ordinarily, it wouldn't be a big deal, I agree. However, sources say that they are in the process of brokering an arms deal with none other than the Romanov's." Vance watched as Callen's entire demeanor changed. The anger was still there but the focus had shifted.

"Romanov's are in LA?" he asked lowly.

"If not now, they will be soon if this deal goes through. I have people already in play. We are waiting for them to work their way in through the Vidales. Once they get what we need, I want you in there heading up the take down."

"And Hetty?" Callen asked.

"As I said before, you answer to me, Agent Callen. This is not Hetty's case. You will only be using their facilities. You have any questions, you come to me. I will apprise her of the situation. Considering she has no clue you are even in the country, let alone NCIS… it will be an interesting conversation." Leon stated, already dreading the call that awaited him.

"Not my concern. So long as she understands I do not answer to her or Sam, we will have no problems." Callen's words were laced with bitterness, "Now, who is undercover?"

"Mark Welleley and James Styles from the San Diego team. Everything is in this

file and on this USB drive. Take it and get back to me with your plan and who you think you will need on your team." Leon handed him the information, expecting that would be the end of their conversation.

"Ziva is coming, I'll call you when I have the rest. We'll leave as soon as we have a flight." Callen stated as he got up to leave.

"I'll let them know." Leon said.

Callen returned to his desk and promptly got online to make flight arrangements for him and Ziva before going through the file. He leaned back while staring at the information on the computer screen. Rubbing his neck in an effort to loosen the stiffness. Gibbs tossed him a bottle of aspirin, "You do know Ziva is a member of my team?" He asked.

Callen looked up and smirked, "I'm only borrowing her."

"Yeah, well, you take care of her" Gibbs warned.

Callen picked up on the double threat and the smirk disappeared, "Always." He respected his Leroy Jethro Gibbs and would never do anything that would risk that friendship. He would never do anything that would risk Ziva's safety…

Gibbs looked Callen over. To say he was concerned would be an understatement. Callen hadn't yet reconciled the mission he had just returned from and now he was headed back to the team that sent him on this path of self-destruction. While he knew Callen needed to deal with the demons of whatever happened in LA, he wasn't sure now was the best time for him to be facing them down. He could feel the agitation emanating from him. No doubt a combination of what had just happened on this last mission but also the realization he would have to face his old team and Hetty. He was glad Ziva was going, at least he knew someone was going to be there to have his back and keep his head on straight. At least he hoped.

Gathering his things, he walked over to Ziva's desk. "You up for another trip?" he asked.

Ziva looked up from her paperwork and smiled. "I am. Is Gibbs okay with it?"

"He is. For now. He thinks I'm stealing you. Flight is in four hours. Do you want to get a bite before we leave?" Callen asked.

"Sure. Where exactly are we going?" She asked, gathering her belongings.

"LA" Callen stated. He cast a last glance over his shoulder, "Later Gibbs."

"Watch your back, Callen," Gibbs returned.

"I always do. That's why I'm taking Ziva…"

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"What are you saying, that you have known his whereabouts all this time and never thought it prudent to let us know he was at least alive?!" Hetty all but yelled at the director from where she stood in OPS. "Bloody hell, Leon. People here were worried sick! He's what? When? After all this time and just like that… no notice… What is this case about? Why wasn't I alerted?"

The yelling faded and still the ears in the bullpen as well as the rest of the mission burned for more information. They only heard one side… but they knew enough to know that it had to be big for Hetty to lose her cool. Slowly a hum of voices returned as they were left to wonder what news the director of NCIS brought that had angered their leader so.

"Haven't heard her get that upset in a long time. Only one person could bring that reaction…" Deeks started.

"Callen." Sam finished sourly, "Guess it's safe to say he survived his injuries."

Kensi shot Sam a heated look, "That's a good thing, Sam."

"Yes, it's a good thing but this?" he pointed overhead to the OPS center, "is most definitely not. It means trouble, which is something Callen mastered in." Sam replied.

"Perhaps we could just ask her." Deeks suggested.

"Ask me what?" Hetty's voice piped up behind him causing both he and Kensi to jump. Sam and Ana just grinned.

"Dang it, Hetty. That bell idea is something we should consider revisiting." He mumbled in Kensi's direction.

"I heard that, Mr. Deeks" Hetty supplied, "I dare you."

"Of course you would." Deeks returned, noticing the looks on Eric and Nell's faces as they stood on the balcony.

"What did you wish to ask me, Mr. Deeks?" Hetty looked up at him, her eyes wide with amusement over his sudden discomfort.

"Yeah, well, um that was some… I mean… so the director called? How is he doing?" Deeks stumbled over his words, nervously running his hand through his hair as he let out a chuckle towards the end. He ignored the smirks on everyone's faces.

"Were you eavesdropping?" Hetty played along.

"What?" Deeks asked, his voice a slightly higher pitch, "No, Hetty, I would never… I mean" he motioned his hand up towards the balcony as he spoke…

"Relax, Mr. Deeks" Hetty grew serious then, "The director is fine. As it turns out, so is our Mr. Callen." Hetty said stiffly.

"Thank God. So the director has finally spoken with him then?" Kensi asked in relief.

"More than just spoken with him, Mrs. Deeks. It appears, Mr. Callen has returned to NCIS via the DC office." Hetty explained.

"He's left the Blackguard then?" Ana asked hopefully.

"Not entirely, I'm afraid." Hetty confirmed.

"So, Callen decided we didn't need to know he was safe. Typical. Why let yourself get worked up over it?" Sam grumbled.

"Because, Mr. Hanna, It has come to my attention that he will be returning to Los Angeles to work on a case for the DC office. He will be working out of our offices here." Hetty explained.

"We're working together again?" Kensi asked with a hint of excitement.

"No, my dear, he will merely be using our facilities. We will not be working the case." Hetty explained, "He will undoubtedly be here tomorrow when you arrive. Please be on your best behavior." She looked pointedly at Sam then turned and walked back to her desk.

The bullpen fell silent. After nearly 2 and a half years, Callen was returning, if only briefly, to the OSP. Deeks, Kensi, and Ana all shared a relieved smile. Sam said nothing as he stormed from the room. It wouldn't be long, they knew, before they would hear the rhythmic sound of Sam pounding on the upstairs punching bag.


	24. Chapter 24

**DISCLAIMER: Sadly, NCIS/NCIS LA do not belong to me... however, every other character you meet IS mine. Any resemblances are coincidental.**

 **A/N: Well, I did promise another chapter this weekend and since we are nearing the end of that... here you go. I was almost ready to add more onto this one because I know what's coming... but I held off... so I guess we will all have to wait for the next chapter. Until then, won't you please take this time to read and review? I do love to hear from you. Let me know what you think.**

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"Do you have a preference of where you want to stay?" Callen asked Ziva as they walked out of the airport.

"Don't you have a house?" Ziva asked, noticing how he was being careful to avoid all cameras.

"I kind of gave it away." Callen said softly.

"You gave your house away? You GAVE it away? You did not sell it?" Ziva asked in disbelief.

"No, I didn't care and I didn't really need the money, so I have it to Deeks and Kensi as a wedding gift. I guess they accepted it. Probably should find out. Care to go for a drive? Or are you too tired?" Callen asked.

"I am fine… where would you like to go?" Ziva asked curiously.

"Thought we'd drive by a few places and then stop by the beach." He answered.

They had been driving for a while when Ziva finally spoke up, "You do take a roundabout way to go places, do you not?"

"Keep them guessing. You don't want uninvited company." Callen explained. "Never drive the same way twice in a row. Always watch for tails. Never assume anything is safe."

"So where exactly are we?" she asked.

"This was my house, once upon a time… no 'happily ever after' though, I'm afraid." They sat and watched for a few minutes as he saw Deeks and Kensi through the window, living their lives just like everyone else on the street. From just the front picture window he could tell they had decorated more than he ever got around to."

"Nice house. They appear to be happy here." Ziva said.

Callen nodded his agreement, "It's better suited for them than it ever was for me. Maybe they will find their 'happily ever after'."

"I didn't mean that." Ziva frowned.

"No, but it's no less true." Callen replied, pulling away from the curb.

Their next stop ended at Sam's house, or so he thought. The family he saw playing in the front yard was most definitely not Sam. His kids were away at school now. He would have to do some research and find out where he went to.

He watched as father and son played basketball in the driveway and remembered a time when it would be Sam and Aiden playing against Michelle and Callen. Kamran was always the cute little cheerleader on the sidelines. He could almost hear the laughter. Listening to Sam tell Aiden how Callen liked to cheat. He could hear Michelle admonishing him…. The smile that would pass between them… the love that was so obvious. If Sam couldn't keep that kind of happiness then what hope did he ever have? He let out a soft sigh as he looked away.

"Sam's house?" Ziva asked, taking in the sudden look of sadness that filled his eyes. His thoughts, so evidently miles away… years in the past.

"Used to be. He's moved, apparently." Callen answered. He revved the engine and pulled back out onto the street, "Let's go walk the beach for a while." He said quietly. Not willing to share the memories going through his mind of all the times Michelle had insisted he come over for dinner. He knew that Michelle was the only real reason he and Sam ever created the friendship they had. He also knew, he owed her for all the times she got Sam to back off when he didn't understand Callen's way of coping. Michelle was an agent through and through….she understood agency life in a way no 'black and white' thinking Navy Seal could ever hope to. There was only the right way and the wrong way with Sam. Without Michelle, they hadn't stood a chance of making their partnership work. He missed her almost as much as he dared miss the friendship he once thought he had with Sam.

She could see the turmoil Callen was in and wanted nothing more than to make it go away…if only for a while, "Yes, let's go to the beach… and then, we find a hotel room…" she smiled and took his hand in hers.

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"I'm telling you, they were watching the house." Deeks said as Kensi came into the room.

"Maybe…or maybe you are just being overly suspicious. Who would want to sit staring at our house?"

"I don't know. Just seems hinky" Deeks said.

"Hinky? Did you just use the word hinky?" Kensi laughed.

Deeks grinned, shaking his head to get his hair out of his eyes. "Yeah, I did." He laughed.

"Well, shaggy… they aren't there now and I'm pretty sure you are just over reacting. Now, how about you and Scooby, there, come eat your hamburgers before they get cold." Kensi said giving him a kiss on the cheek and moving back towards the kitchen.

"Huh, that might almost fit as a touché… almost" Deeks said distractedly as he tried to ignore the uneasy feeling in his gut.

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Callen's search led him to an apartment building. Sam had rented his house and moved into an apartment. He decided to stake it out the next morning while Ziva slept, under the guise of going to get breakfast and coffee.

Sam looked the same considering the vast changes in his life. The one visible difference he noticed was the lack of a smile. He was tense, almost angry in his appearance. Sam was an intimidating individual normally…with that scowl, he was frightening.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he leaned back in his seat. He couldn't stop the onslaught of memories invading his thoughts. He needed to, he had a job to do and he couldn't do that job if he was unable to get his head in the game. Callen would have to find a way to box up these feelings and issues for LA until after he was done with the job, which he hoped would be a quick one.

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"You were gone quite a while." Ziva asked as she accepted the coffee he offered, "Everything okay?"

"Sure, why wouldn't it be? Finish up here and we will head over to OSP. Take your gym bag, we'll work out. We can only do so much until we hear from Wellesley or Styles. I need to figure out the rest of the team. At this point, I'm planning on Paris Summerskill and maybe Roy Haines. They are from the same team. I've worked with them once here and a couple times since leaving. I have a call into them but haven't heard back.

"Sounds good."

"I'm also considering Deeks." Callen added.

"Are you sure that is a good idea?" Ziva asked.

"No reason it wouldn't be." Callen responded, "I'll need to talk to him first. Kensi may not be thrilled with the idea."

"Very well, I am ready." Ziva walked towards the door.

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

Tensions were running high as the mission sprung to life for another day. Word had spread over who was coming in. Emotions were charged in the bullpen. No one knew what to expect… including those closest to the man in question.

"It says it's condemned?" Ziva stated, reading the sign on the door.

Callen smiled as he remembered his first day back after being gunned down. It seemed like a lifetime ago, now. He had said the same thing. He could still hear Sam's reply as if it was yesterday. "Only on the outside" he echoed the memory.

Ziva looked around at everything as they walked down the hall. Her attention quickly refocused on the man next to her as they reached the massive main room. She sensed him tensing as they entered the space.

"Mr. Callen, Welcome back!" Hetty greeted her boy as she walked towards them.

The entire room quieted slightly as she came to a stop in front of him. Callen took a quick moment to assess the room and the people in it. Ziva wasn't the only one who watched as his demeanor shifted to one of cold business, "Hetty."

"I see you didn't come alone." Hetty turned to Ziva, "Agent David, is it?"

"Yes."

"The Director has informed me that you will be here for the foreseeable future?" She asked.

"Only until the case is done." Callen confirmed.

"I see, very well. How much space will you be needing, Mr. Callen?" Hetty inquired.

"For now, just access to the OPS center. We won't be interfering with your work. Don't interfere with ours."

"Just let me know what you require and I will do my best to oblige" Hetty offered.

"Callen!" Deeks called out, walking up to them.

"Marty" he greeted cautiously taking the hand offered, "How are you?" Callen asked.

"I'm good. I'm good. You look good… better than the last time I saw you." Deeks said.

"Yeah, well, you know me. Nothing keeps me down for long." Callen shrugged.

"We weren't so sure. We never heard from you after that mission."

"Well, as you can see… I'm fine" Callen replied, uncomfortable with the path of conversation. He knew Marty was sincere. He could always count on him to tell the truth. Slowly, his gaze moved to the side as Ana approached. His heart raced. He hadn't been fair to her when he left. He should have done more to allow her the ability to let go… not that he felt she had any reason to do anything else. They weren't in a committed relationship.

"Hello, Callen. Long time. You had us worried." Ana stated as she looked him over before setting her sights on Ziva. "Hello. I'm Ana Kolchek… and you are?"

"Ziva David" Callen introduced.

"Your new partner?" Kensi asked with a small hopeful smile, "We were told you were working for the DC office?"

Callen turned to face the remaining team. Sam stood with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face, giving nothing away in regards to his emotions.

"Ziva works for Gibb's team. She just helps me out once in a while. I choose who I need, when I need them" Callen responded before turning his attention to Sam, "Sam."

"Callen"

"How are the kids doing?" he asked sincerely.

"They are fine, as if you cared." Sam grumbled, "Two and a half years, G., no word from you. The past six months you left everyone wondering if you were dead."

"Wishful thinking again, there, Sam?" Callen said, his eyes narrowing.

"Callen" Ziva whispered as she gently grabbed his upper arm. The move did not go without notice on Ana's part.

He tilted his head down to see the hand that touched him before lifting his gaze once again to Sam. After another moment, Callen turned and headed toward the gym with Ziva at his side.


	25. Chapter 25

**DISCLAIMER: I'm borrowing these lovely characters of NCIS/NCIS LA... aside from that, I own all the other squirrely characters that pop up in the story. There should be no resemblances to people living or otherwise... that would be a mere coincidence.**

 **A/N: So here we are... Chapter 25. Hard to believe there was a time not to long ago where I was scared I wouldn't be able to write a one shot worth reading. Well, we are slightly over half way there or more. Lots of fun to be had yet. I just want to thank you all for supporting this story. You have no idea what a great boost your reviews are for me. It's one thing to like what you wrote but to have others say that THEY like it... That's huge! Thank you so much for taking the time to review. I hope you continue to enjoy the story as well as pop in and let me know what you are thinking. How do you feel about where the characters are and where they are heading. I look forward to hearing from you. This chapter is a bit longer than most so... Enjoy and have a blessed day!**

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They found themselves using the gym daily, though usually when they would least likely run into Hetty's team.

"Have you finalized your team, Agent Callen?" Leon asked.

"I have Director. Paris Summerskill and Roy Haines will be joining us here. I will also be asking Marty Deeks as well." Callen answered.

"Anyone else?" Leon asked.

"Not until we have more information. Until we know for certain what, if anything, is going down, I see no reason to pull anyone else in. Have you heard from your men?" Callen inquired, hoping something was finally happening.

"There appears to be a stall in the plan. Romanov is still on the fence, apparently. Vidales is working hard to make a mark and prove themselves. There are a few rumors. I will let you know what are fact and what is just chatter but for now, it is a matter of sit and wait I'm afraid. Consider it a vacation. You've earned some down time." Leon stated.

"I'm bored, Director. Blackguard's asked me to finish a few jobs for them. There appears to be some trouble brewing here in the states with a Mexican cartel. Not sure what the deal is but I have a few leads to run down. Since it is in the states, I wouldn't be far. As you say, we are at a standstill, once Paris and Roy get here, I will get them up to date and Roy can be working on some of that chatter and keep me posted as well."

"Ziva is going with you?" Leon ordered more than asked. Callen was already tense from the last round with Blackguard… after a week in LA with his old team, he was walking on a very fine edge and Leon could hear it in his voice.

"Yes, Leon, I haven't forgotten the deal."

"Have you considered asking any of the others to be on your team?" Leon pursued.

"Don't. I will not work with them and for good reason. You start pushing an agenda here and this job with NCIS will be finished, do we understand each other?"

"Understood," Leon said, "Be careful out there."

"Always am, Director." With that, the connection was broken. Callen turned to Nell, "What goes on here, goes no further. Is that clear? That includes, Eric. Hetty scares him too much."

Nell chuckled, "Agreed. Anything you need, Agent Callen. It will go no further."

"Thank you, and lose the 'Agent' thing. Name is Callen. Not everything has to change, does it?" Nell just smiled and Callen took that as his answer and left ops.

Nell missed having Callen there. He challenged her thinking. He loved teasing her. On nights when he couldn't sleep and would find himself back at the mission, they would have long chats over everything while she got the ops up and running in the early morning hours before everyone else came in.

Callen had found himself a few spots upstairs over the years where he could best watch the activities going on below. It helped him keep up with how things were running… where trouble spots might be brewing. It let him watch his team without them knowing so he could make sure they were doing okay, honestly. There was a time when he found solace within these walls. He looked down at the bullpen, now empty. The team had gone out on a case. 'His couch' was still there. A part of him longed to stretch out on it for a brief nap. His sleep habits had only gotten worse as of late. If he managed a few hours in a row each night, he was doing good. He didn't dare risk them coming back and finding him there. Truth was, it wasn't 'his' couch anymore.

"So, what's your excuse this time, Sam?" You've already changed out partners so you could ensure our safety out there in the field, what's next?"

"Kensi, calm down. It was nothing you did wrong, I just think we are missing some information. We will regroup and try again." Sam explained as he ran a hand over his face wearily.

"Damn right it's nothing I did wrong." Kensi threw back at him, as Deeks and Ana joined them.

"We will be lucky if we get another chance." Deeks said, "These guys are tied to known terrorists and we just gave them a free pass outta here."

"You think I don't know that?" Sam growled, "Maybe if my team wasn't so busy questioning my every move, we'd be able to do more. A team needs to know what everyone else is doing. It ensures the safety of all involved. When we're out there, I need to know we all have each other's backs. I'm not convinced we do."

"Well, we used to" Kensi said, "before you separated Marty and me. We worked well together. We never did anything to make you question that!"

"You got married. That's reason enough, don't you think?" Sam bellowed. As your team leader it is my responsibility to ensure your safety in the field!"

"Well, I've got news for you, Sam, I don't!" Kensi yelled.

"Don't what?" Sam asked.

"Feel safe!"

"Sam, I get your need to keep the team safe and I get your reason for splitting us up… but seriously, and this is no disrespect to you, Ana… Kensi and I work better together and whether you want to admit it or not, you know I'm right." Deeks stated.

"I stand by my decision. You don't like it… maybe we should consider putting one of you on another team." Sam threatened.

"Come on, Sam" Deeks reasoned.

"Enough, Deeks! Don't push me on this. We have work to do." Sam ordered.

Callen watched on in disbelief. This was not the Sam he knew. That Sam, never lost his cool. Always the in control, Navy Seal. Not today. The crack team Hetty created was now simply cracked. They weren't even a functioning team at this point. Sam was angry and on edge. Kensi was miserable, that much was obvious. She was a good agent. She knew her stuff and it appeared as if Sam had forgotten that. Deeks was forever the buffer in the team. As much as his antics wore thin on Callen, it always worked to defuse the rest of the team. Callen had come to count on it during the more trying cases. He couldn't help but wonder what was going through Hetty's mind by leaving them in the field like this. Then there was Ana. Level headed… good in the field. Hetty had really put her in a tough spot.

"They need you." Ziva said softly, sitting down next to him.

"Ha, the very last thing any of them needs, especially Sam, is me telling them what to do. Maybe now would be a good time to approach Deeks though. Might alleviate some of Sam's concern."

"I'm not sure that Marty and Kensi have anything to do with Sam's issues." Ziva said as they headed downstairs.

"No, but Michelle not being here isn't something I can fix." Callen replied.

The bullpen had fallen into an uneasy silence when Deeks phone alerted. Kensi looked up as he checked his texts… After reading it he looked around till he found the source. Callen merely raised a brow and Deeks simply gave a nod as he put his phone away. Twenty minutes later he excused himself, "Hey, I'm going to make a lunch run… who wants what?"

"I'm good," Sam answered, not bothering to look up.

"A hamburger with cheesy fries?" Ana piped up.

"I want fish tacos" Kensi added.

"Sounds good" Deeks agreed. Be back shortly. I have an extra stop to make first. Won't be long.

Callen was sitting on the sand just watching the waves as they rolled up onto the beach and then slid back out into the ocean. At first, Deeks stood back and watched. He was curious as to the reason for this meeting. He'd been in town for nearly a week and showed little interest in the lives of his former teammates.

"You going to stand there all day?" Callen called out.

"Sorry. To be fair, I learned my lesson the hard way on surprising you on the beach." Deeks chuckled as he sat down next to him.

"Long memory, Marty… I apologized, as I recall."

"Yeah, you did… so how have you been?" Deeks asked.

"Doing okay, I guess. How about you?"

"Can't complain. Kensi finally married me."

"I know." Callen smiled.

"You know?" Deeks asked.

"I happened to be in town on business…" he explained.

"You were there? Why didn't you say anything? We would have loved to have had you there." Deeks asked surprised.

"I'm not so sure about that. I got to see it. That was good enough for me. You know how much I like socializing. She made a beautiful bride. You two are good together." Callen said. He was quiet for a moment, "I see you accepted my gift."

"Wait, that was you the other night… at the house. I told Kensi there was a car watching the house." Deeks said.

"Yeah, just wanted to see if you'd moved in." Callen confessed apologetically.

"Hey, if you want it back, it was yours first." Deeks said.

"What? No, no, my time there is done. Enjoy it." Callen stated.

"Well, thank you. We love it there." Deeks answered.

"Good, I'm glad."

"Kensi really misses you. She felt really bad about what happened." Deeks attempted to explain.

"I'm not here for rehashing old hurts any more than I am here for old home week." Callen cut him off. "I have a job to do."

"So why are we here talking then?" Deeks asked.

"I want you on my team." was his reply.

"Shouldn't you be talking to Hetty and Sam if you want to use the team?" Deeks asked in surprise.

"Not the team, Marty, you… just you." Callen got up and started walking.

"Oh, wow. Wasn't expecting that." Deeks stammered.

"Why? We've worked together before." Callen stated.

"Yeah, that last time didn't work out so well. You know, I never got to thank you for saving me that day."

"You don't need to thank me. I left you there. Sam was right about that. You could have died and that's on me. If anything, I owe you an apology." Callen stated.

"No way. You had no choice. We both knew it was a risky plan but it was necessary. I tried to explain it but by that point it was too late and you were gone." Deeks looked over at Callen and saw the pain surface for the briefest of moments.

"The past is the past and none of it falls on you… which is why I want you on my team. It's only one case and then you go back to your normal routine. If it all goes well, it may be that I'll call you again. However, if it's going to be a problem for you, I'll call in someone else."

"Uh, Wow. I need to talk to Kensi first… and Hetty, I suppose." Deeks answered.

"Don't worry about Hetty. You decide you want in and Leon will deal with Hetty. Talk to Kensi and let me know. On second thought, I have to leave for a few days. Call Leon and let him know… he will take care of things from there. I should be back Monday. I hope you decide to join us." Callen shook Marty's hand and walked away leaving Deeks in shock.

By the time Deeks came back with everyone's lunches, Callen had already returned and was heading down the stairs with Ziva and two more members of his new team.

"Is that Paris and Roy from the Red Team?" Deeks whispered.

"Yup. They just got here a little while ago." Kensi answered, "He sure knows how to set up a strong team."

Deeks just nodded his agreement as he watched the interaction, distracted by his recent conversation with Callen.

"Ziva and I will be back by Monday evening. Take the weekend and enjoy the beach. Any work you do is not to be discussed outside our immediate team. Not with Hetty or Sam. If you use the ops center, only Nell is cleared. Paris, if you get a chance, check in with Marty."

"No worries Callen. We have your back. Stay safe out there." Paris said.

"Alright, Monday then" Callen said as he and Ziva grabbed their go bags.

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

"What's wrong, Marty" Kensi asked, "You've been quiet ever since you came back from getting lunch today. Even Ana was concerned. What's going on?"

"We need to talk. The reason I took so long at lunch was because Callen wanted to talk." Marty tried to explain.

"Oh my gosh! Marty, that's great, right? He's reaching out." Kensi said excitedly.

"Actually, he was interested in only one thing. He wants me to be on his team for this case he's working on." Deeks said nervously.

"Really? Just you?" Kensi was disappointed. There was a time when she and Callen had been so close. She missed her friend and mentor. She missed their team.

"For now, anyway. I tried to talk to him about what happened but he's not in the headspace to talk about that right now." He explained.

"Right. No, you are right, he has a lot on his plate right now. So, what are you going to do? What's the case about?" she asked.

"He didn't get into the case. He's pretty adamant that Hetty and Sam stay out of it. If I accept, we won't be able to discuss logistics. I don't know how dangerous or difficult we're talking and then there's Sam and Hetty. When it's all done, I still have to work with them and Sam's not real thrilled with me as is these days."

Kensi shook her head and took his hand in hers. "What do you want to do? Do you want to work with Callen? Stop worrying about me or Sam or Hetty. What is it you want to do?"

Deeks sat quietly for a moment. She watched the internal struggle he was dealing with. Then he looked into her eyes and spoke softly, even though she already knew what his answer would be. "I really want to do this. I feel like I need to and in a way I think Callen needs me to as well. Besides, if Sam's big issue is both of us on the same team… maybe this will calm things down for a while." Deeks watched Kensi for her reaction, surprised when she smiled.

"Okay then, that's what you need to do. I'm behind you 100%.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Yeah" she laughed. "Don't worry about the rest. If this is what you want to do, then go for it. But I want to speak with Callen one on one. If he wants to come here or meet elsewhere to avoid dealing with Sam… that's fine, I get it. I just need to talk to him alone."

"Okay." He answered.


	26. Chapter 26

**DISCLAIMER: I sigh over the fact that I do not own any of these wonderful NCIS/NCIS LA characters... but I grin when I say that the rest of these critters belong to me... any resemblances to anyone is completely coincidental.**

 **A/N: Hi! I am so thankful to everyone for your support of this story. Thank you for all the reviews... it's so exciting! Well, this is a big chapter for our guys. I'm as excited as I am scared to share it. I hope I did it justice. Just know that we are far from the end, so don't panic... like me. Okay, I'm going to go eat some chinese food and wait to hear what you think. Thanks in advance for the reviews, YOU ARE AWESOME!**

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Monday came and went with no word from Callen or Ziva. Deeks went to find Paris and Roy in the OPS unit while Sam was in the gym burning off steam, yet again. "Hey Paris, you haven't heard from Callen, have you? He told me he'd be back today."

"Haven't heard anything. Roy's tried finding them but there is little to go on. This is Callen we are talking about, after all. I wouldn't worry too much yet, you know how it goes." Paris assure him. "So Callen told me you were going to be joining the team. Cool."

"Yeah, Sam's not happy, but then he seldom is these days. So if you need any help on anything, let me know." Deeks confirmed.

"Thanks, not much to do at this point. The whole thing is in a stand still." Roy said, turning from his computer, "Sam's not happy, huh? What about Hetty? The ole girl can't be too happy about being kept in the dark, especially anything related to Callen."

"True. She's not. She seems fine with me doing it though." Deeks admitted.

"Well, it's a shame things fell apart here. You guys were the best team I've ever seen. A fine-tuned machine when you were in the field." Paris said, "I know it was a struggle for Callen at times but he liked it here. He turned down an offer to come work with us."

"Oh, didn't know that. Seems Callen had a lot of job offers while he was here with us." Deeks said. He was never surprised by how easily Callen could keep secrets. Just as he was shocked at the fact that he chose to stay on with them all those years when leaving was frequently his go to reaction.

It was Wednesday before Callen and Ziva returned to LA. Everyone was busy getting their day started. Sam was just heading to his desk from talking with Hetty when they entered the mission. Taking one look at Sam, Callen quickened his pace to get past him. Sam knew that look and it always unnerved him. Something had happened and it wasn't good. He wasn't the only one who saw it.

"Ziva, he okay?" Paris asked as she watched him push past everyone as he headed for the gym. She knew from her time working with him that when he became overloaded and things were intense that he turned to the gym for stress relief. She also knew that when he had that look on his face, it was better to just get out of his way.

"I do not know." Ziva answered honestly before following behind him. She quickly changed into her workout gear and joined Callen in the gym. She noticed how quickly the room had emptied since Callen had begun working on the punching bag. She didn't bother him at first. She ran over the events of the past few days. The assignment was to gather information on a human and sex trafficking group moving into the states via a Mexican cartel. The first two were stressful as it became clear it was children they were focusing on. Callen, especially, took those kind of cases to heart. He'd seen enough as a young boy, just in the foster system that he didn't take kindly to anyone who dared to mess with kids. This one appeared to be especially difficult for him. The first two individuals were tough enough to deal with but as they moved from one lead to another it became more and more clear that Callen had had previous dealings with these people. The deeper the interrogations, the darker and more intense Callen became. It was their final target, Caesar Vasquez that nearly pushed him over the edge. It was then it became personal and she could barely stop him from killing the man. When they left, they were all alive but it would be a while before they were functioning again.

When they returned to their room, while she showered, he called his superior to report in. She heard him all but beg to go back and finish them off. Told to stand down until further notice, Callen had clammed up. That night he was plagued with nightmares that woke him drenched in sweat and screaming. She debated calling Leon and Gibbs but knew Callen trusted her and she also knew Leon would most likely pull Callen and this was not the time for that to happen.

Sam watched from the back hall. Callen was relentlessly going after the punching bag as if it were whatever demon he had following him these days. He watched as Ziva approached him.

"Callen, give the bag a rest. I need to expel some energy as well."

"Not now, Ziva" Callen's voice was strained.

"Yes, now!" Ziva grabbed him and with little more provocation they were into it. Sam was not surprised that Ziva could fight as well as she did. He knew of her past. What astonished him was Callen's new found abilities. He had always been a good fighter. He had learned early, for survival's sake but this here? This was a whole new level. Krav Maga. A style of fighting frequently associated with the Israeli Special Forces, as well as, the Kidon. They were putting on an impressive display of technique which was proven by the crowd gathered at the entrance. While he had no doubt Ziva was the one who taught Callen many of the techniques, it was also obvious that the student was quickly surpassing the teacher in strength and ability. Callen showed no sign of slowing down while Ziva was quickly tiring and at this point struggling to keep up. Callen was no longer simply sparring but driven by a deep seated anger. Sam knew he couldn't keep up with his opponent but he could distract him enough to give Ziva time to breathe and maybe, as a bonus, Sam could find some release as well.

"What the hell, Callen!" Sam came in roaring. "Bad enough you show up after two plus years, no real word but now you blow in here, stirring things up and then attempt to steal one of my team members?"

Callen had Ziva pinned to the mat with his body, face to face, breathing hard as he looked her in the eye. Ziva watched as the fog cleared that had had him fighting something more sinister than she… "Callen, don't engage with him. Not now." She warned him, unaware of what Sam was attempting to do, "Let's just go." She watched as his eyes darkened while Sam continued to taunt him. She felt his muscles tense and ready for a fight.

"Is Sam completely insane?" Kensi asked, "Callen could kill him."

"He has too much control for that." Hetty said as she too had been watching.

"You just can't help yourself, can you? Some things never change." Sam yelled.

Callen slowly stood and turned to face Sam. He eyed him carefully like a wild animal ready to take down its prey.

"You do not want to go there right now, Sam" Callen warned.

"Oh, but I think I do. Where the hell have you been for the past six months? Playing dead?" Sam pushed.

"You're going to wish," Callen said angrily, "Finally got what you wanted, me out of your way. I was too dangerous to be the team lead. Isn't that what you said? I was a liability. People got hurt because of me, isn't that right? So now you are the big boy on campus. How's that working for you?"

"You know damn well how it's going. Who can possibly stand up to the legend that is G. Callen? So what if your antics threaten the safety of everyone around you. Who cares if you leave you're people in the field injured because the job comes first. What amazes me is how they just follow you right back out there as if nothing ever happened!"

"What the heck is he doing?" Deeks breathed.

Callen stalked forward, "Maybe you need to back up and think before you say anything else."

Sam could see the tight reign Callen had on his anger… to the point of a slight tremor running through his body. He even thought of backing down but a part of him really just wanted to unload all the anger he, himself, was holding onto. He knew the part he played in Callen leaving and he felt bad. He also never thought he'd make the leave permanent. He never thought he'd be able to abandon Aiden and Kamran the way he did and just after losing their mom. No, Callen left… lone wolf just like always. He saw him as a loose cannon. He went off halfcocked with no thought to his own safety and after the stunt with Deeks… he couldn't trust him. No man left behind. He needed safety. He needed to know his partner had his back.

"How many partners have you had that turned on you? What about Tracey… left you in the field not worrying about your safety because the job came first. What a hypocrite! You borrowed a page straight out of her book that day two and a half years ago! That wasn't enough. Rather than stay and fight it out, you ran."

There wasn't a soul present who couldn't help but feel the pain and anger that poured off these two men. Sam continued to throw one abusive remark after another while Callen just stood there taking it in. He understood Sam was in pain… that he missed Michelle. It was the very reason that he held back his own resentment and anger. He knew enough to know he couldn't allow himself to access those emotions on top of the past several days. It would be a big mistake for all involved.

"I'm giving you one more chance to back the hell up and stop talking." Callen threatened.

"Or what Callen?" Sam knew he was being an ass at this point but he didn't care. It felt good to yell, to unload his pent up anger. The punching bag was no longer enough, "or what?"

Callen looked Sam in the eye, "Do not make me show you. Walk away Sam, please…" as he turned to head for the locker room Sam advanced on him.

"Don't turn your back on me" As Sam yelled, he grabbed hold of Callen's arm.

Instincts took over and Callen whirled back around and the fight was on. Sam got a few good jabs in before Callen took over. At first Ziva wasn't concerned. Sam was a big man and he had skills… but he had never dealt with this Callen. The one who was no longer just an ABC agent, but a trained killer. A trained killer who was already walking a fine line. He hadn't had time to decompress from the past several days and put his Renegade persona away. He was struggling with something painful and deep and Sam was giving him no room for escape. Trapping Callen in a moment like this was a deadly mistake. As Sam moved in an attempt to gain the upper hand, one last time, Callen took him to the mat. In a move meant to finish his opponent, he was stopped by the sound of Ziva, her gun at the ready, "Callen! Stop!"

Sam looked up into Callen's eyes and didn't see any sign of the man he once called friend. But what he saw was still familiar. A pain so raw that it haunted the soul. "I warned you, Sam" Callen growled, "but you just don't listen… you never listened. You never knew when to just back off, did you? No, Michelle was the one who did that. She was the one who told you when to let things lie… because she knew! She understood! She was an agent… a damn good agent that knew what it meant to be in the field and do a job… that being an agent meant being prepared to give your life because the job came first. We aren't about traffic stops here! This is life and death stuff, Sam… and not just ours but everyone in this city or this state or God forbid, this country! When you become an agent, you realize that your life isn't what matters… the job matters. If you can keep yourself and your partner safe then you do… at all cost! There is always a way… until there isn't… until you have to make a choice. You are an Agent but you are a Seal first! You were trained that you leave no man behind! Black and white, that's all you see. Michelle saw the grey. It's not as easy as you want to make it. That's why you are failing your team! You insist they stay safe first! You're playing the wrong game here, Sam! You miss Michelle, I get that! You don't think I miss her too? Every damn day, man! I stood by your side from the day she died! I did everything I could to help you. Thing is, no one can help you until you realize that Michelle knew that a day like that was more likely to come than old age! She knew! Until you realize that… until you accept that? You have no business leading this team or any team… not until you accept that you are no longer just a Navy Seal but an agent. You can be both… once you reconcile the difference. Now, you want to talk about trust? You want to talk about team work? How about you look in the mirror there partner! You want to talk about hypocrite? Start there! After all the years of having your back and you didn't even blink at the thought that I would turn on my own team like that? You never even once questioned the validity of those videos… or my guilt. You never did trust me or you wouldn't have believed me capable of shooting a friend. You are the one who turned their back here. You are the one who left someone behind that day. I promised Michelle I would watch out for you and the kids, and I have done that. I have kept my promise to Michelle over and over again. I stayed true to my word… to my friend but you and me? We're done here. You needed closure, I hope you got it because we will not be revisiting this again. You walk away… stay out of my life." Callen's jaw clenched shut, his muscles flexed with the tension running through his body. Ziva slowly lowered her gun as Callen looked her in the eye and gave the nod that he understood and he was back. With that he walked through the crowded space as if he was completely unaware that anyone else was there and headed for the showers. Sam got to his feet and stared after him before glancing around the room and leaving the same way he came. Paris and Roy just looked at each other before Roy turned and headed for the locker room.

The room was heavy with emotion as Hetty cleared her throat and began ushering everyone back to their duties, leaving both teams standing in awe of what just happened.

"Now was not the time for this" Ziva sighed.


	27. Chapter 27

**DISCLAIMER: NCIS/NCIS LA characters are not of my making and do not belong to me... no matter HOW much I wish. All the other characters are mine, however... and any resemblances to anyone out there is simply coincidental.**

 **A/N: Okay, so first thing is first! You guys/gals are AMAAAAAAAAAZING! You make my day with your reviews. You have been so kind and supportive. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to not only READ my story but to leave a REVIEW! Awesome! Now onto the business at hand. After reading your reviews and listening to what you were saying, I have taken to adding more to this chapter than originally intended. I thought maybe we needed to consider what these team members were thinking after what happened. I usually sit on a chapter and read it repeatedly before I submit it... not happening this time so I apologize if there are any errors.**

 **ONE MORE THING PLEASE... Every story I have written leads into the next somewhat. Nothing drastic and you can read each as a stand alone. However, if you find yourself reading this story, and wondering what happened or the history to something, you may wish to go back and read the other stories. In particular, you may want to read "G. Callen Doesn't Do Christmas" and for this chapter there are references to the Joelle situation which you will find in the story, "At Storm's End". If you do take time to read them, please leave a review and let me know what you think. OKAY, on to the story! I look forward to hearing from you!**

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"This was NOT the time for this," Ziva stated, following his movement towards the locker room.

"No, it isn't. What the Hell was Sam thinking?" Paris asked, shaking her head.

"He was thinking he was saving you, Ziva." Hetty explained, "Sam isn't unfamiliar with Callen's moods. Granted, he never had the opportunity to experience Callen quite like this. He has always maintained a tight control of his anger…"

"I did not need saving," Ziva stated evenly, "Callen just finished a very difficult job for Blackguard. He needed time to regroup. This is how we do that. If Sam had just kept out of it, he would have been fine."

"Mr. Callen is anything but fine, Miss David." Hetty sniffed, pursing her lips as she looked up at the young woman in front of her, "I think the two of them needed this… however, you are correct when you say now may not have been the best time."

"In all the years we have worked with Callen, I can't ever remember a time when he seemed so volatile," Kensi remarked. She remembered how patient he was when he was mentoring her. Even when she was sure he was frustrated with her, he never took it out on her.

Deeks had to agree with Kensi. He knew Callen wasn't his biggest fan when Hetty first brought him onto the team. Then after he had been shot, Callen made no bones about the fact he didn't want him back if he wasn't ready… that he was a danger to the entire team, especially his partner. Still, in all that, he was fair. He knew Sam frustrated him, despite how much he cared for him and his family. Deeks also knew that despite how in control he was… there was a darker side to Callen that no one ever saw, at least no one on the team. He was sure Hetty knew more than she was saying. Having spent time in a scary persona of his own, he knew how hard it was to closet the alias away after it had come out to play. He figured that to some degree, if you were any good at all with undercover work, you probably had some sort of borderline personality disorder or identity crisis… Callen certainly fit the latter and he wasn't too sure about the first. If he were honest, Deeks knew that he couldn't judge Callen without judging himself. "Weeellllll, there was the whole Joelle incident…" Deeks offered in defense.

"Even then, he didn't turn it on his friends." Kensi stated.

"Does he consider you friends now?" Paris asked, "Let's face it, there is a lot of issues piled up between you all. I'm surprised he hasn't taken Sam down before now, if you want to know the truth of it."

Kensi shot her a look that most would have found intimidating. Paris just returned the look with one of her own. Finally, with a sigh, Hetty spoke up, "Simmer down, this will do no one any good. It is no secret that Callen worked for the CIA before and he has been called in on numerous joint missions with other agencies. It is also no secret that many of those ended poorly for Mr. Callen in regards to his partnerships. What isn't well known is what was required of him on many of those missions and I fear that those missions are what many of his nightmares are made up of. He eluded to that fact 3 Christmas's ago… I do not know exactly what all he has done on those missions. Most are above even my paygrade. What I do know is that it left him trusting no one and forbidding himself to enjoy any kind of life outside of this job. Agent Gibbs had to hunt for him in order to even offer him this job initially. It was a slow process getting him to accept being a member of a team, let alone a lead Agent. He was very much like this, I'm afraid. I'm afraid this will not be the last go around with Sam, unfortunately. They are both very much alike in many ways and very very different in others… It's the latter that concerns me. That aside, I worry that Leon has involved him in a mission here that may very well prove to be his undoing…" she finished as she looked towards the locker room door.

Callen was already out of the shower and dressing when Roy entered the locker room.

"Roy, you need something? Did we finally get some movement on the case?"

"What? No, man, I'm here to see if you are okay." Roy said.

"I'm fine, why?" Callen asked pulling the blue T-shirt over his head.

"Ch! Why?" he asked incredulously, "That was intense out there!

Callen looked at him seriously, "That? It was a bad moment on my part. Should have been more in control. Sorry about that." He shrugged.

Roy stood back in shock, "Not more than fifteen minutes ago you were ready to take Sam's head off… literally. Now it's like none of it even happened, "Ziva pulled a gun on you… apparently she thought you might actually follow through…"

"Yeah, okay, I'll admit, I'm a bit anti-social these days. I don't play well with others and I don't take kindly to being attacked. There are times when I need to be left alone until I have had time to decompress and Sam never did understand that. I have to be honest, I never did understand how Hetty ever thought we could be partners."

"Yet, you were a great team! I don't get it. What went wrong? I mean despite your difference, no one would have known, watching you work. Now this? You were like sworn enemies out there." Roy asked as he worked to figure out this man in front of him.

"Roy, Sam needed a wakeup call. Wasn't my finest hour and he was being an ass. Still, if he can put this behind him then maybe he'll move forward and his kids will be able to move on too. They deserve better than this." Callen said putting his things in his bag.

"And you?" What do you deserve?"

Callen seemed surprised by the question. "What do I deserve? Oh, Roy, I try not to think about that too much. All I can do is pray that I DON'T get what I truly deserve at this point." With that he left Roy to follow.

"Callen, are you okay?" Ana asked when she saw him come into the main room. He didn't stop to answer but let his hand lightly graze her arm as he shouldered his bag and kept on walking. He needed time to think and process the past week. If he were completely honest, he needed to process the better part of the past few years. He had to admit he'd felt bad more than once over the years he's been gone that he didn't stay in touch with Aiden and Kamran. He understood abandonment and here he had pretty much done just that. Sam. He was so sorry Sam had had to go through all this. He was a good man. He loved his family, faithful to his wife, served his country and he was a good agent. Perhaps he left too quickly. Maybe Sam wouldn't seem so lost and angry had he stayed. But they made it very clear they didn't want him. What was he supposed to do? No, he did what needed done. Sam was lost because life didn't make sense. For maybe the first time, he understood just how little life made sense. It would do him well, if he were to learn nothing more from the ordeal than life wasn't just black and white and that no matter how much good you do, the scales never seemed balanced in their favor. Sam needed to walk away and re-evaluate what he wanted and if doing the job was worth the risk. It was an easy choice for him to make because he had no real ties to this world. He could put his all into it because there was no one waiting at home for him. Hell, he didn't even HAVE a home.

Ziva didn't see Callen that night. He chose to stay at one of his old haunts where he could be alone with his thoughts before having to face everyone at the mission the next day. He was angry with himself for letting Sam goad him into a fight… especially knowing how incredibly bad it could get and it did.

The next day he walked the beach, his mind still unsettled. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something had been nagging at him since he met up with Caesar Vasquez. He couldn't figure out what it was, but nothing good ever came from these feelings and they were rarely wrong. Looking at his watch, with a sigh, he decided he'd better head in before someone panicked and sent out the search party.

He made quick work of a second coffee as he walked into the building.

"Callen!" Deeks called out, walking out of the bullpen to greet him. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." He answered, distracted by the sight of Sam and Hetty talking in her office.

"Yeah, been over there for about 30 minutes give or take."

"Hmmmm. Hey find the rest of the team and I'll meet you in ops. I just need a minute." Callen requested.

"Sure, will do." Deeks readied to do as asked, then turned back, "Hey, Kensi wants to talk to you. It was her only condition to my doing this…"

"Tell her to give me five with Hetty and then we'll talk up on the landing." Callen acquiesced.

"Will do, thanks" Deeks replied.

Callen leaned against the stair railing until he saw Sam exit the office. A moment of tension filled the room as the two passed each other mid-way. Callen looked over at him but Sam refused to look him in the eye. Once he passed, Callen only briefly looked back as Sam grabbed his bag and a box before leaving.

"Mr. Callen? Is there something I can help you with?" Hetty asked.

"What? Oh, yes… here. That should cover the damages of yesterday's less than stellar performance. So….Sam?" Callen inquired.

"Taking a leave of absence." Hetty allowed.

"Not that my opinion matters but it was long overdue. You should have put him on leave at the start." Callen said.

"Well, sometimes, that's not the only option. I had hoped he'd find his way over time, but yes, it is now past time. However, now, that leaves me with half a team." Hetty admitted.

"Not a problem. I'll take Kensi for now. I need one more to even the teams. She and Deeks still work well together, do they not?"

"They do. I've never had reason to believe otherwise… would you care to share what case you are working on?" Hetty asked.

"No," Callen turned to leave.

"Mr. Callen, please know how much I regret the circumstances surrounding your choice to leave us." Hetty pleaded.

Without turning completely around, Callen replied, "It's about trust and loyalty. You showed me neither after 8 years here… all the while demanding it from me. There's nothing more to say."

Slowly he climbed the stairs toward the backend of the balcony. He missed Hetty. As angry and disappointed as he was, he missed their talks and the drinks they shared at the end of a case, Sunday dinners at her house, Christmas day breakfast… she had been as close to family as he'd known. He hadn't even felt that close with Garrison before his enemies drove him back into hiding. He never did really get to know his half-sister and nephew. He was sorry for that. Sam and Hetty had both pushed him to forge a relationship there but Callen already knew and understood the dangers that would bring the single mother. Sam found that out the hard way. As he reached the top of the steps he shook his head slightly to clear his mind for this talk with Kensi.

"Kensi, Deeks said you wanted to talk?" Callen asked with a small tilted smile.

"Yes, Thanks, you doing okay? Yesterday was…"

"Yesterday. It's over. What's done is done." Callen answered.

"Right, yeah, of course." Kensi shook her head, "So I guess apologizing for treating you so badly after Marty was shot is a waste of time?" Kensi asked as Callen looked up and caught mismatched eyes staring at him so full of emotion. He always loved her eyes. They only added to her beauty.

Clearing his throat, he answered honestly, "Yes", and when he did, he could have sworn he'd heard her heart break before he had a chance to finish. "Only because I could never hold it against you. You love Marty. I put him in harm's way. I'm the one who needed to apologize. Times like that are why I'm better working alone. None of you had been agents all that long, in the scheme of things. You all still believed in good always wins over evil… that you go in as a team and go home together. I've never known that. Risk and loss were always a part of the game. It's why I don't get attached to people. Seeing you broken like that over Marty and Sam angry on your behalf reminded me of just how truly damaged I am. Don't get me wrong. I hated what I did… that I had to leave him there. Had it only been my shot, it wouldn't have been so bad but I knew the second shot wasn't good. Still, I also knew his chances were better if I stayed with the plan. I made sure help was on the way. It was the best I could do."

"You called in the ambulance?" Kensi asked as Callen nodded, "Why didn't you just tell us?"

"Kensi… I couldn't, not until it was finished. The fact that you all so readily believed my guilt… why would my telling you have changed that? I'm good at my job… maybe too good" Callen shook his head and looked off to the side, anywhere but her eyes. He couldn't stand the pity or disappointment he'd likely find there.

"I'm so sorry Callen. I should have known… I did know. I was just so scared. I wanted to say something after I'd had time to calm down and I knew Marty was going to be okay but by then, you were gone. I have missed you every day since. It's just never been the same. Sam missed you too. He was so hurt by your leaving."

Callen cast her a sad smile. In that moment, she could see that he'd suffered the most by his leaving. Nothing anyone could say could give back what he'd lost… or any of them for that matter.

"Like I said, Kens, what's done is done. There's no going back." They both remained silent for a minute. Then Callen stood and crossed his arms over his chest, all business again, "So, Hetty tells me Sam is on personal leave indefinitely. With Marty gone, as well, she is left with half a team."

"Oh Callen, please don't take Marty off your team! He wants to do this. He wants to work with you again! He has always looked up to you… We will be fine, don't worry about it, seriously!" Kensi begged.

Callen held his hand up to stop her. "Kensi, relax. I want you to join him on the team."

"Wait, what? You WANT me on your team?" Kensi whispered.

"Don't get excited. It's one assignment and then everyone goes back to their normal jobs," Callen explained.

"And you?" Kensi asked.

"What about…" Callen started before they were interrupted by a sheer whistle from across the building.


	28. Chapter 28

**DISCLAIMER: There is the NCIS/NCIS LA characters who don't belong to me and then there's everyone else who does.**

 **A/N: Hello! Thank you again for allllllll the reviews. You have been absolutely awesome! Hope you enjoy this next chapter. We're getting there. The reference you find in here in regards to a certain video is explained more in the story, "G. Callen Doesn't Do Christmas" just in case you care to read it for further information. You don't have to but I'd love to hear from you if you do. Take a moment to read and review this next chapter in our Saga! I look forward to hearing from you.**

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"Well, good to know some things don't change," Callen cringed as Kensi chuckled.

Eric motioned for them to head over towards ops.

"What is it Eric?" Kensi asked, not liking the look on his face.

"We just received a message. It appears to be for you, Callen."

"Okay, let's see it." Callen shrugged, following Eric and Kensi into the darkened room which had been cleared of all extra personnel.

Nell looked to Eric intending to tell him he needed to leave when Callen gave her a small smile, "Eric, who sent it?"

"Right, this was from a Caesar Vasquez," Eric replied.

Callen shot a look at Ziva, who appeared every bit the composed agent to everyone else but Callen saw the uncertainty and concern.

Eric continued, "I've been looking into who he is and who he works for but…"

"I know who he is, Eric," Callen interrupted. Taking a deep breath and blowing it out as he spoke, "play it."

Normally, Callen was able to remain calm and controlled but the video that played out before him made the color drain from his face. He could feel his heart speed up. His eyes widened. Nearly 20 years had gone by, yet this was one nightmare that refused to be vanquished.

"Well, Agent Callen, we meet again. Turns out, we have a friend in common… Emilio Martinez. He said he was certain you'd remember this day… especially those sweet faces in the window. Remember their names, Agent Callen? Think about it, because you couldn't save them then nor will you save those now." As the monologue finished, they watched as the building blew and Callen fell to the ground from 2 bullet wounds. Everyone in the room jumped at the unexpected explosion. None so affected as Callen.

"Have a good day, Agent Callen" he taunted as the screen froze.

"Callen…" Paris began

"Get out. I want everyone out." Callen stated with a deadly calm.

"Callen, what's going on? We need to talk about this." she tried again.

"I said," he started quietly, his voice rising as he went on, "Get OUT! I want the room cleared, NOW!" he ended in a roar.

At that moment, no one argued. Eric and Nell grabbed their tablets and followed the others out. Once the door closed behind the last person, Callen went over to the computer and locked the ops room down. No one could get in. All access was blocked from prying ears and eyes.

Only then did he allow himself a moment to feel the pain the memory of that day evoked. Sliding to the floor, he leaned his back against the table in the center of the room. With his knees drawn up to his chest, he rested his head against his knees. He thought he'd finally put this one to rest several years earlier when he tried to explain to the team why he refused to participate in Christmas. He had finally relented and told them the story around what was shown in this video. Ever since then he had tried to work on forgiving himself for not stopping the bombing in time. He still dreaded the nightmares that continued to plague him, that time of year, especially. Now this. Now, to realize they had gone on to kidnapping children for such despicable reasons and his hands had effectively been tied.

It was rare that he allowed himself time to feel the pain ripping at his heart but his time in LA had left him raw emotionally and as he thought back to those days; Izzy's sweet smile, Daniel's infectious laugh… tears slid down his cheeks.

Some days, living was too hard… yet death had repeatedly spit him back out to the land of the living instead of granting him the sweet silence and peace of that eternal sleep.

"What the hell was THAT about?" Paris demanded, "He looked like he'd seen a ghost. Seeing him so caught off guard is unnerving."

Deeks, Kensi, Nell and Eric shared a knowing look.

"Okay. You know something." Roy stated looking between them.

Before they could say anything, Ziva spoke up, "Caesar Vasquez was one of the men Callen was to visit this past weekend. There was also another man, Carlos Gutierez. Callen became more and more upset the longer he spoke with these men. It was obvious he knew them from the past."

"Twenty years ago to be exact. It was a highly classified and heavily redacted case. Suffice it to say, that building was an orphanage. Callen has carried the guilt of those kids death ever since because he couldn't stop them." Deeks informed them with only minimal detail.

"Well this Emilio Martinez has upped the ante. They are heavily involved in a human/sex trafficking ring. They are moving into the states and they just made it personal for Callen." Ziva warned.

"Uh guys? We need to get Callen to let us in. I've been doing some checking into these names. You are NOT going to believe who they are tied into!"

"Who, Nell?" Kensi asked.

"The Cartel they belonged to back when Callen first dealt with them in the DEA was the Mendoza Cartel. They were into drugs and guns until recent years. The name behind Mendoza?" Nell asked.

"I have a bad feeling about this" Deeks said.

"Who?" Paris asked.

"Comescu" Nell replied, "They were the money behind the business."

"Yeah, well, I thought they'd finally been put down" Roy said, giving a sideways glance at Paris.

"They were, as far as our intel shows, but they still have a lot of loyal subjects out there. For one, Romanov's." Nell stated.

"This just gets better and better" Deeks groaned.

"Romanov is no friend of Callen's." Roy stated.

"No, they're not." Paris agreed.

"I know Romanov's had some people killed in the comescu take down," Kensi said.

"Yeah, well before that, Callen had gone in to gather information but he was compromised and was held for a couple months. During that time he was subjected to some serious torture at their sadistic hands. Not sure how he managed to get away, but he did." Paris explained.

"Well, we're not done… the gun deal has been a difficult sell by the Vidales, so in order to impress Romanov's that they were worthy of their business, they decided to link up with the Mendoza Cartel… in exchange for the association, it gets Mendoza a step closer into the states. However, the price is that Vidale's are now hand in hand with Mendoza's human sex trafficking business. Which means…" Nell began.

"Which means the lines between his commitment to Blackguard and his job with NCIS has just become blurred… this is not good." Ziva said looking up towards ops.

"Yeah, but they work for the same side, so why's that a problem exactly?" Eric asked.

"Theoretically, maybe. Blackguard is literally the black sheep in the agency family. They cross the boundaries no one else will. They do what no one else can." Ziva explained.

"What's the problem here? I don't get it." Kensi asked.

"The problem is… NCIS will want them alive unless it can't be helped. Blackguard will want them shut down permanently, no questions asked. Short of a brief interrogation… they will give orders to terminate most likely. Mendoza is into much more than just trafficking people. They are a dangerous group. Callen has been in stand down mode since we interrogated Vasquez. This info may tip the scales." Ziva replied.

"Should we alert the Director?" Nell asked.

"No, Callen chose us because he's expecting us to be loyal. We go to the Director and he will see that as a breach of that trust." Paris said and Ziva nodded in agreement.

"First we see where his head is at." Ziva added.

"How exactly do we do that?" Deeks asked.

"Can't you hack your way back into ops Eric?" Nell asked.

"I've been trying but, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but Callen is good. You are going to have to give me a few." Eric responded.

Roy chuckled, "Callen likes to play at being technologically challenged yet he's anything but."

"He is frequently underestimated" Ziva said eyeing Kensi.

"Okay, I managed to access the screen. I can put a message up. What do I send?" Eric asked.

"Tell him, assignment compromised, need to talk." Paris suggested.

"Okay, sent."

"Now we wait" Ziva said sitting down.

Callen's senses were on full alert and he felt more than saw a change in the room. He lifted his head and noticed the message.

'I'm slipping, Eric found a way in' he thought to himself. He knew he should get up and answer. He needed to pull it together and get back to business. He knew. He just didn't want to this time. Maybe Sam wasn't the only one who needed time to rethink the purpose of the job for him. His phone alerted and he begrudgingly pulled it out. He really was slipping, he forgot to turn it off, but the number wasn't one he was familiar with.

"Hello"

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

"There's an incoming call on his phone." Eric said.

"Who?" Kensi asked.

"Burn phone…"

"Can we tap into it so we can hear the call?" Deeks asked.

"Trying but he put up some road blocks… "There were things put in place after the mole so access could be gotten to any part of the mission. I figure Callen blocked it so Hetty couldn't listen in." Eric explained as he continued to work.

"Here Eric, use this code. It's the override I put in. Extra security." Nell grinned.

"Does Hetty know?" Eric asked.

"No" Nell shrugged, "Less people, less trouble."

"Hurry Eric." Deeks said, garnering him a sour look from the computer whiz as the conversation began playing over the computer speakers.

"Agent Callen"

"Who is this?"

"What, you don't recognize the voice of an old friend? I guess it has been 20 years. People change. Except for you, I'm afraid. You are still annoyingly in my way. I was surprised to hear you didn't die that day. Unfortunate mistake but then you have had several opportunities since and yet you are still here."

"What do you want Emilio" Callen asked, his voice tight and completely void of emotion.

"Want? Nothing. I have everything I need. The bonus is making you suffer. Now, not only are you responsible for the death of all those little street urchins 20 years ago, you are equally to blame for every child disappearing from your neighborhoods now. It's in your honor that we have chosen to enter this new venture thanks to another mutual friend, Agent Callen… Iosif Romanov. I hear you spent quite a bit of time together. How many scars this time?" Emilio laughed.

"I repeat, what do you want?" Callen asked again.

"To make you suffer. Torture comes in many different ways. You were a worthless street urchin yourself once, were you not? Still just alone and as worthless now. How long is that list of people wanting you dead?"

"Much shorter these days." Callen stated coldly.

"What, because of the Comescus? You may have finished your grandfather's blood feud but you appear to have gained one all your own. You will never know peace, Agent G. Callen. And that may be more rewarding than your death!" Emilio laughed, "Have a good day, Agent Callen."

Callen looked at his screen long after the call disconnected.

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"Damn" Roy said softly as the call ended.

"You can say that again" Deeks replied, doing a double take as Roy repeated the word.

"Psychological warfare." Ziva said. "They know what he is capable of and they also know his hands are tied. While he may walk the edge of what is legal at times, he has never gone completely rogue and not for lack of trying. Callen has been approached more than once in an effort to change sides, Romanov included. Callen is a man of honor." Ziva said.

"Yeah, but even men of honor have a breaking point." Deeks added.

"Do you, Agent Deeks?" Ziva challenged, "You have been tortured. Did you see your breaking point?"

"No, but…"

"Admittedly, every man and woman has an Achilles heel. For Callen, it's threatening and hurting children. I believe Blackguard's appeal is in the fact that they can stretch his breaking point out there a bit farther… allowing him to deal with the scum like this…" Ziva countered.

"This has to be killing him." Nell whispered, remembering how much the death of Daniel and Izzy tormented him.

"So, now what?" Kensi asked.

"We wait until he's ready." Ziva stated.


	29. Chapter 29

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the NCIS or NCIS LA characters... I only get to take credit of all the other characters wandering through. Should they appear to be familiar in anyway... It's completely coincidental.**

 **A/N: Okay, First you are all just absolutely great for your support. Thank you so much for your taking the time to read and review. I pray you will enjoy this newest addition. Let me know what you think, Thanks.**

* * *

Callen's head was swimming with the realization of what the call implied. Knowing his hands were tied. The anger that knowledge evoked was what drove him to his feet. First thing's first… block Eric. He knew he would be limited on time because Eric was much better at this than he was. At best he could annoy him until he was done talking with the powers that be. Once he knew where Blackguard stood he would move on to dealing with Vance.

"Dang it!"

"What is it, Eric?" Nell looked up from her tablet.

"What do you think? Callen. He's making a call and he's blocked me again." Eric answered.

"Leave him be" Ziva ordered, "Trust him to do the right thing. My guess is, he's weighing his options. He will have to tell both Blackguard and Leon, then choose the path we will follow. You need to decide if you are willing to follow his lead once he decides."

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"Callen, how are things?" Leon asked.

"Complicated, Director." Callen answered.

Leon looked at Callen a moment before answering, "What's going on Agent Callen?"

"A lot", Callen proceeded to tell Leon what they had learned, leaving out the added details of the past several days interactions with Sam.

"I see. I need to go over what you've told me. No doubt Blackguard will be contacting me as well. Dare I remind you that you are NCIS first Agent Callen. Our protocols trump your obligations to Blackguard should they contradict one another. Is that clear?"

When Callen didn't respond right away, Vance repeated, "Is that clear, Agent Callen? Do I need to repeat myself?"

"No, Director, understood." Callen said through clenched teeth.

"Consider your team in stand down until further notice. Continue to have Nell and Roy on monitoring of the situation as well as intel gathering."

"Yes sir. I've also added Kensi and Eric to the team. Don't make a thing of it. I have a job to do." Callen informed him.

"I'll be in touch, Callen." Leon cut the feed and the ops fell into silence. Pacing the room he considered his options but at this point it all came down to a waiting game. With a heavy sigh, he opened the ops center and unblocked his phone. He almost chuckled over how pissed Eric had to be with him messing around with his toys.

"Hey, we're back in" Eric said, followed by a collective sigh of relief. A sharp whistling sound echoed from the room above, catching their attention.

"Really? First my computers and now my whistle?" Eric moaned as he followed the other up the stairs, chuckling as they went.

No one said anything as they re-entered the room. Eric just glared as he passed Callen and quickly took inventory of the space, relaxing only after making sure everything was found to be fine and in working order.

Callen watched him, fascinated at how he boldly claimed his space. The Eric he had introduced to NCIS was not so strong willed. He appreciated the difference. He wondered how much had to do with Sam working with him.

"We are in stand down until further notice. Both agencies are reviewing the information. Nell, Eric… continue to follow up any leads we may have. Be careful, as we have two men undercover. Review the message and video, as well as the call you no doubt recorded. If you need additional help, Roy will be available. The rest of you, go… hit the beach… Keep your phones on you at all times."

There was complete silence over the next few days. Everyone was on edge. "Dinner at our place." Deeks said after they had all met for an update on Eric and Nell's findings, "Everyone, 6:30. You will come, right Callen?"

Callen was prepared to decline when Ziva assured them he'd be there.

That night they all gathered in an attempt to forget, if only for a moment, the reason they were all brought together. Callen sat back and watched this team he'd pulled together. They were all excellent agents in their own right and he didn't doubt for a minute their ability to see this case to its end. Still, no matter how hard he tried to put the past where it belonged, he couldn't help remembering another team. He didn't choose them but they were highly efficient. He never doubted them either. He could lie with the best of them but never to himself and he would be lying if a part of him wasn't wishing he could turn back the hands of time. A time before the rift that now separated them.

"Here" Deeks offered him a beer.

"Not a good idea" Callen replied looking up.

Deeks set it on the table next to him. "Fair enough. How are you doing?"

Callen considered the same generic answer he gave every other time the question was asked of him but found he did have it in him. "How do you think I'm doing, Marty?" he answered with a question.

Deeks thought for a moment. "I think that you got a whole lot more than you bargained for coming back here. I think the pain of loss hurts more than the anger."

"You think too much." Callen murmured, rethinking the drink.

Deeks just chuckled, "Maybe. Want to see the place?" he offered.

Callen glanced around the living room, "If it's all the same, I think I'll pass… no offense."

"No, it's fine." Deeks responded.

"It's just weird, being here, only it's not mine… and before you start in, I'm fine with it." Callen said.

Deeks gave him a thoughtful look, "So, we found where you carved your name in the closet door." Deeks grinned.

"Yeah? I didn't exactly hide it. They never said a word when they found it. I got beat for it in other places. Rostoffs were different… so I thought" Callen sighed, "Do whatever you want with it. You won't hurt my feelings."

"We're keeping it. Adds character to the place," Deeks said drawing an honest chuckle from the man next to him.

"You've really turned it back into a home. I'm glad." Callen added as he fished his phone from his pocket to see who was calling.

"Who is it?" Deeks asked when he saw a surprised look on Callen's face.

"Kamran. Why would she be calling me?" Callen asked.

"Maybe Sam told them you're back" Deeks offered.

"I highly doubt that." Callen replied as he answered the phone.

Deeks watched as the color drained from Callen's face, "Eric, Nell" he whispered, "Trace this call."

"What's going on?" Kensi asked quietly as Deeks motioned for silence.

"He said it was Kamran but one look at his face tells you there's more to the story than catching up on old times."

"You son of a… You hurt one hair on her head and I will hunt you to the ends of the earth… but I will find you and when I do, you won't have time to beg for mercy." Callen's eyes flashed with anger, "I want to hear her voice. Put her on the phone… Damn it!"

"Callen, what's going on?" Paris asked.

"Did you find where it's coming from? Sam had that tracker app put on her phone."

"Sorry, they turned it off." Eric replied.

"Turn it back on." Kensi ordered.

"I already tried. They must have removed the battery."

"Callen?" Ziva asked, moving closer to his side.

"They have her. Caesar Vasquez. Emilio Martinez. They have Sam's daughter…" Callen whispered. He could barely breathe. As if Sam hadn't already been through enough losing Michelle, but now, thanks to him, his daughter was in danger. He had to get her back.


	30. Chapter 30

**DISCLAIMER: No, once again I must say they do not belong to me... none of the characters of NCIS/NCIS LA belong to me. I must settle my heartbreak with the knowledge that all the rest of the characters are indeed mine... any resemblances are coincidental for sure and for certain.**

 **A/N: Hello again! Once again I must thank you whole heartedly for your support and your many kind reviews. I love hearing from you. To know that you are feeling as a reader what I feel as the writer putting pen to paper and creating...well, for Callen... a mess... It's absolutely fantastic. That feedback is priceless. Thank you thank you thank you.**

 **Well, here we are, another chapter... one more chapter closer to the end. Don't panic, we aren't there yet. Hope you enjoy this one. Let me know. I'll be waiting.**

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"We should call him" Kensi said.

"No" Callen ordered.

"Callen, this is his daughter we're talking about. He has a right to know." Kensi reasoned.

"Callen's right. We have no clue where she is being held, what their intensions are, if she's even still alive. Did you hear her?" Ziva asked.

"No. They are calling again soon with video. Callen explained. Get your stuff and head back to OSP" Callen ordered. There was no questioning the order.

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

They had only returned to the OSP shortly before the expected call came in.

"Agent Callen… so nice to talk to you again. I was so disappointed when you ran off during our last visit. We were having such a good time too."

"You know what they say, Iosef, 'All good things must come to an end.'" Callen retorted.

"Yes, I guess you'd know all about that, wouldn't you? Your family, your time with Rostoff's, your team. Can't seem to hold onto anything, can you? Now your partner's… no, sorry, ex-partner's daughter. Imagine how he'll feel knowing you are the reason he lost his daughter. It will destroy him. All because of a worthless street urchin."

Callen didn't respond to the torment. He simply asked, "Can I speak with her?"

"I haven't decided. You did abandon her, after all."

"Put. Her. On. The. Phone, Iosif!" Callen demanded. He thought he'd heard a muffled cry.

"Iosif, I swear, if you so much as hurt a hair on her head, I will kill you!" he growled.

"Promises, promises, Agent Callen. Fine. I will allow you this one gift." It was only a moment that seemed like an eternity. Finally they heard shuffling and then Kamran was roughly tossed into the chair in front of the Camera.

"Make the most of your little visit, Callen. It will be your only one." Iosif sneered.

Callen looked Kamran over quickly. "Kam, have they hurt you?" he asked, swallowing hard as he asked the next question, "Has anyone touched you, hurt you?"

"No" came the sobbed reply, "Where's daddy?" she asked.

"He's not here, honny. Don't worry, I will bring you home, I promise." Callen swore.

Kamran nodded, "Tell daddy I love him," she cried.

"You can tell him yourself just as soon as you get home, okay?"

"I'm scared, Uncle Callen. I want to come home!" she said, her voice wobbling.

"I know, baby, it's going to be alright. Just hold on."

"Oh how touching…" Iosif clapped as he responded sarcastically.

"How can you expect her to believe anything you tell her? You left her just when she needed you most," he threw back as he ran his hand down her neck and she shivered, eyes wide in fear.

"I love you, Uncle G."

"Touching!" Iosif said as he motioned to some men off to the side who quickly grabbed Kamran up and removed her.

Callen could hear her crying even after she was out of view. Growing more agitated by the minute, he spoke again, "What do you want, Iosif?"

"What do I want? That's a good question. What DO I want?" he repeated, "I want to destroy you, Agent Callen! I want you to suffer. We all know what a champion you are for the children… with the exception of Daniel and Isobella… you really weren't much help to them, now were you? Then there was Michael… are you sure you're not the father? So much easier to abandon them when you pretend they don't exist… or how about Dorin? Remember him? Just one of the many you left as orphans. The only difference is that Dorin had to watch his father die at your hands. You're no hero, Agent Callen… you're a monster… and you will be destroyed."

"What is it you want from me?" Callen asked again.

"I will let you know once I decide. Until then, enjoy the rest of your night. Though I somehow doubt it. Your ex-partner should be coming for you soon."

The call ended. "Tell me you know where he is." Callen growled.

"I tried" Eric started but got no further. Callen let out an agonizing scream as he threw his phone across the room in anger.

"Eric, call Hetty, Sam will need her… and get me another phone" Callen stated, walking out of ops.

"Where are you going?" Ziva asked.

"To shoot something."

"Do not leave the building, Callen, they may call back," Ziva warned, hoping to anchor Callen to the mission so he wouldn't disappear.

"And we thought Comescus were bad." Deeks groaned.

"Sam's daughter, guys." Kensi stated, "Anything happens to her and it will destroy both of them. Callen promised Michelle he'd keep her safe. Sam will never forgive him or himself."

"Well, we aren't going to let that happen. We need to find them…fast." Paris stated.

"I'm attempting to track the call," Eric said, not bothering to look up.

"I'm running them through kaleidoscope in hopes they'll pop up. We will find them." Nell added, "I'm also looking into the cameras at Kamran's school."

"Maybe we'll get lucky following their trail from there." Roy said.

"They know what Callen is capable of… They have to know he isn't letting them just walk away." Paris said.

"What's the end game?" Deeks asked, "It's like they are just playing with him."

"They know he's on his own, basically. He is separated from his team here so they figure he's not as dangerous and because of his background he's more fragile in the face of their warfare." Ziva offered.

"They really don't know Callen then. If anything, they made him even more dangerous." Hetty said coming up from behind. "Have we heard from Mr. Hanna?"

"Not yet." Kensi replied.

"Very well, I will be in my office. Carry on."

Finally, Callen returned from the shooting range. Hetty caught his attention, "Mr. Callen, a moment if you please."

"What is it Hetty?" he asked in cold distraction.

"Can we please put down our swords for now? We must pull together if we are to bring Sam's daughter home." Hetty suggested hopefully.

"You ask a lot, Hetty."

"I realize that, but I ask it, anyway… for the sake of team and family." Hetty encouraged.

"Team and family… and who's team and family are we speaking of?" Callen asked, "This isn't my team, never was and last I checked, I have no family. I'm here to do a job and in order to do that, it cannot become personal. So, I simply need you to keep Sam here. He is too volatile to consider for the field."

"You really are a cold bastard, aren't you?!" the all too familiar angry voice of his ex-partner spat out.

Callen's stare hardened as it bore into Hetty's eyes, the message clear. He barely turned when Sam's fist connected with the side of his face, knocking him off balance. Before he could recover, Sam had him by the shirt and threw a punch to his middle.

"Mr. Hanna!" Hetty yelled, drawing the attention of the team upstairs.

Sam threw one punch after another and Callen let him.

"Why isn't he fighting back?" Kensi asked in disbelief.

"Because he thinks he deserves it" Deeks said, cringing as Callen took another hit.

Callen's instincts were screaming for him to retaliate but he simply braced himself for another hit.

"Sam" he stated, attempting to connect with the reasoning part of his brain. When Sam responded with another thrown punch, Callen side stepped it which only infuriated Sam more. "YOU! You just had to come back. Why? Why did you have to come back and bring all your troubles with you? Haven't I lost enough? Now my baby girl?" Sam growled.

"We'll get her back." Callen said evenly.

"This is just another job to you, isn't it? Well go to hell, Callen! This isn't just some other kid, this is MY kid, my baby, G. Don't you get that? No, of course you don't. How could you? What do you know about family? Nothing, because you don't have any. None that will stick around. Big surprise. How can I trust you to save my baby girl when you couldn't save any of the other kids?" Sam yelled, not thinking of what he was saying or see the pained look that completely encompassed Callen's visage.

"I am sorry, Sam. I will bring her home… or die trying. You will NOT lose her, I promise." Callen said.

"You're sorry. You promise. What does your promise mean to me, anymore?" Sam raged as he threw another punch. This time Callen caught his fist in his hand, stopping it mid swing. Then, just as quickly, pushed him back.

"No more, Sam" Callen warned. All the while remaining calm.

"What? Inconveniencing you?" Sam snarled as he stepped up till he was toe to toe with Callen.

Callen looked down and took a few deep breaths. When he looked up again, his face no longer registered the pained encounter of mere moments before. There was no sympathy for the man in front of him. He looked him in the eye. Inside he was dying but Sam would never see that. He needed to know that his daughter would come home. He needed to know the job came first before anyone's feelings. Sam needed Callen to be the very thing he hated. Callen was okay with that… except for this moment, Callen knew Sam would never forgive him. He would forever remember this day, when his little girl was put in harm's way because of him. But Callen would accept the loss so long as Kamran was safe. Then, once she was, he would leave and this time, he'd stay gone.

Hardening his expression, Callen pushed Sam back one step for every word he spoke until he backed him into the stair railing across from Hetty's desk. "This. Is. Helping. Noone."

Sam was taken back by Callen's coldness. Once against the railing, Callen settled in, eyes narrowed, voice hard, "You need to sit your ass down and let me do my job. We will bring her home."

"Wait, you honestly think I'm just going to sit here while you go for my daughter? No, think again." Sam growled angrily.

"You WILL sit this out. You want her back? Then you will stay out of my way! You will only risk her life further by going out there unhinged. Not this time, Sam."

Before Sam could reply, Callen added. "You so much as make one move towards that door and I will zip tie you to a chair. Do Not Test Me."

Callen turned to look at Hetty then turned towards ops. "Why are you out here?" he growled, climbing the steps when Eric ran out excitedly, "I found them!"

Sam's head shot up as they all ran for ops and he started to follow when Hetty called out to him, "Sam? I advise you to heed Mr. Callen's warning. Come, have a cup of tea."

"I don't want no damn tea, Hetty, I want my daughter." Sam spat out.

"And you shall have her. Patience, Mr. Hanna" Hetty said softly.


	31. Chapter 31

**DISCLAIMER: NCIS/NCIS LA characters do not belong to me but I am so thrilled to be able to borrow them for even a little while. Now there are other characters who do belong to me and any resemblances to any other persons is entirely coincidental.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi everyone. Thank you again for all the reviews, interest, and support in this story. I am absolutely overwhelmed and thrilled. I look forward to each one and try to reply as soon as I can. If I haven't, I apologize but know that your review is absolutely wonderfully appreciated. Special shout out to "Skippy" for all the many reviews. I love hearing from you, so thank you.**

 **Next chapter lies before you... Things are getting serious... okay seriouser and seriouser... (it is too a word... okay maybe not normally but it fits here.) We are closing in... I know you are worried about Sam and Callen. We should all be... they are a killer team but they have things to work out... hang in there and don't hate me too much. I hurt for them too. I only do what the character tell me to. ;) Enjoy and please please please, take just a moment to drop in and tell me what you think. I will be waiting with baited breath... and my coffee.**

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Hetty watched as Sam stared up towards OPS long after the doors closed. "You need to trust their training. You need to trust their leader. He IS who you want leading them," She consoled.

"He doesn't even care. He left here with no thought to those kids and what losing him too, so soon after their mom, would mean to them. Kamran was devastated, especially. How do I trust a man who cared so little for her wellbeing back then?" Sam asked.

"Because, Mr. Hanna, Callen does know the pain of loss and he weighs carefully every decision when on a case. He cares deeply for your children or he would never have taken the beating you gave him with no retaliation. Mr. Callen has the unique ability to lock away his feelings in a safe place where he need not be affected by them during a case… because of that ability, he can concentrate only on the logistics of the case. Your daughter could be in no safer hands." Hetty explained.

Sam bent forward and rested his head in his hands. He knew he'd said some pretty awful things to his ex-partner. He knew that it had hurt him… he saw it in his eyes… in the moment THAT was exactly what he wanted. He also knew that what Hetty said was truth. He had never met someone who had the ability to detach himself personally from a situation in order to stay focused on a job. He knew the gulf that separated them had just grown exponentially because at some point Callen was going to revisit this moment.

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

The team entered OPS hesitant but hopeful.

"Well, Eric?" Callen asked grimacing as he leaned back against the center table, arms crossed over his chest.

"You are hurt?" Ziva asked.

"Nothing to worry about," Callen replied, "Let's just get this thing done."

A phone alerted, diverting their attention, "That's your phone, Callen" Eric stated.

Callen looked at the ID… Blackguard was calling.

"Yes… they kidnapped the daughter of an NCIS agent… We can't afford to wait! They will kill her… What more do you need on top of everything else I have given you? ... I will NOT wait! You are signing her death warrant by waiting… Yeah, well, we'll see about that. You so much as threaten me and I have enough information to shut you down for good. I have precautions in place… Get me the okay for this job and I will make it well worth your while… I need it NOW... You have 30 minutes. In the meantime I'll be talking with Director Vance. I'm sure he will be interested to know how little you are concerned for the families of his people. They get a little more sensitive about family matters here… 30 minutes. Callen disconnected the call and looked up, "What?"

"Callen, did you just threaten your boss? … With the Blackguard? They kill people for a living…" Deeks said.

"Not the first time. Worst they can do is put a hit out on me. Like they've never done that before in the CIA… might be doing me a favor at this point." Callen replied as Deeks brows raised.

"Marty… we need to get a beer and talk reality. You've been way too sheltered under Hetty's rule." Callen chuckled while dialing the Director's number.

"Leon…"

"He calls him by his first name too?" Eric said.

"Don't you?" Ziva asked with a grin.

"Seriously, you people have a weird way of dealing with stress." Eric shook his head.

"It's what helps keep you sane in the midst of insanity." Roy explained as Paris nodded her agreement.

"They took Kamran! ... Because of ME, Leon… We know where they are... I'm not asking your permission here… There is only one right decision. We're bringing her home… The only question for you to answer is how is it getting done? Do we go as a team or do I go alone? Choice is yours… I'm going in 30. Get back to me before I make the decision for you." Callen cut the call short… "What now?" he asked, looking around.

"Dude that was Director of NCIS… your OTHER boss. Are you trying to get yourself fired and killed all in the same day?" Deeks asked, astounded by Callen's lack of concern for protocol.

"Marty… we're talking about Sam's daughter. I promised to bring her home. Truth is… I'm pretty much done with the Agency games. If I make it back alive then I'm thinking maybe it's time for a change. Now Eric, Nell, What precisely DO we have?"

"We tapped into the Cameras at the school and sure enough, we got them taking her. We almost lost them, but thankfully we were able to find enough cameras along the route they chose to take. They are in an old abandoned house. Directions are on your phone. And Callen, it's heavily guarded. Be careful." Eric said.

"Callen, you weren't serious about going alone were you?" Kensi asked.

Looking over at Kensi, "That's up to Leon. I won't have you risk your jobs. If he opts out, then yes, I will go alone." He said without pretense.

"Job be hanged. This is a child. Sam's child." Kensi said.

"Director is calling into ops" Eric said looking to Callen as he looked at the text alert coming in on his phone.

"Put him through." Callen ordered as they turned to the screen.

"Director"

"Agent Callen…" Leon said, sitting forward in his chair to lean on the desk. "I don't take kindly to ultimatums any more than the Blackguard appreciates threats. Something I am sure you are already well aware of at this point. You needn't have questioned what I would have decided. Trust is a two way street."

"I don't deal in trust. I deal in facts and reality. The fact is, these people are stealing children from their homes for God knows what purpose. All the while, they believe my hands are tied by a government they know, based on past performance, will likely do nothing. So they've taken a child they know means a lot to the people around me just to prove their point. Reality is, Director, they've done it before and nothing was done. So I want to know, where do we stand?"

Leon knew Callen was not one for politics and bureaucracy when it got in the way of justice. Hell, Leon felt the same. He knew there was more at play with just this one faction of the cartel's business. There was the arms deal, the drug running. He had two men in harm's way.

"Callen. To go in now… we have other games at play. Wellesley and Styles are closing in on the information needed to tie them all to the terrorists threat they pose… we have to consider their safety."

"So a 13 year old girl stays in the sadistic hands of those sick bastards? You want to tell Sam that? Tell me what you need, I will get it from them, gladly. However, I will NOT leave that child alone with them." Callen growled.

"Agent Callen… I am telling you what intel has been given to me. That said… you do this, it is without the protection of NCIS… my orders are for you to stand down until Wellesley and Styles can be reached."

"How long will that take?" Ziva asked, knowing Callen's mindset.

"Uncertain, they've been out of contact. We aren't sure whether they've been compromised or perhaps the deal is moving forward.

"Eric, find them." Callen growled.

"On it."

"Roy, keep an eye on the house for any movement."

"Got it."

"Director, make no mistake, I'm going to go shut them down, tonight! I will do what I can to find Wellesley and Styles… but when I'm done… their business will no longer exist…"

"Callen, I know Blackguard gave you the all clear to do this by any means necessary… regardless of what I say… but you realize they aren't happy with you…"

"Leon, I've never been good with long term relationships. You know that. And I am aware NCIS will have to cut ties as well. We knew in the beginning this venture would ultimately fail. Are you really surprised?" Callen asked, "I get it. No worries. I have options."

"That is exactly what worries me, Callen," Leon said frowning as Callen chuckled in return. The chuckle quickly disappeared and was replaced by a voice that spoke in all seriousness, "Well then, it's decided… I will go alone." He stated.

"I didn't say that…" Leon replied. "I said, 'the powers that be', I am saying this… I will not stand in the way of anyone who wants to go. I, unfortunately, can't offer you any protection. Just know, Agent Callen, I am behind you. Get them… bring her home… bring them all home, including Wellesley and Styles. Wait. Hold for a moment. We have more intel coming in."

"Anything, Eric?" Callen asked as they waited, his mind racing with logistics.

"Working on it, doing everything we can, Callen." Eric replied.

"Uh, Callen? We have movement." Roy called out, shooting the footage up onto the screen. "More men and what looks like two young girls."

"Callen." Leon returned, his demeanor grim.

"It appears our agents have been compromised. We have just received word that Wellesley's niece and Style's daughter have been abducted. We can only assume…"

"No assumptions necessary director… We have video footage of 2 young girls being led into the same location as Kamran Hanna. What are their names?" Callen asked.

"Delaney Styles and the niece is Sara Bedford." Leon answered.

"Nell?" Callen asked.

"Looking them up now… yes, they are a match for the video."

"Leon?"

"Considering recent events you are being ordered to move forward with the full backing of NCIS and Callen… The kids come first, then the agents. If you are able to retrieve any further intel into the Romanov family who are aspiring to replace the space left by the Comescus please… Shut them down, Agent Callen.

"Yes, sir…" The screen darkened, as did Callen's entire person.

"We go in there tonight, it's for the kill. If you are not comfortable with that, say so now… Kensi? Deeks? They won't hesitate to kill you. Are you able to go in there and do what needs done? Do I need to partner you up with Paris and Roy?" Callen asked seriously.

"Callen. We can do this." Kensi said looking him in the eye.

"Okay. Ziva and I will come in through the front. Paris and Roy will enter through here. Deeks and Kensi, you two will come in through the back. Once we get in, the goal is to get to the girls. I will arrange for some extra back up. We need to find Wellesley and Styles. We don't know if they are being held there or if they are even alive. Now, my guess is they are alive. There is no reason in kidnapping those girls otherwise…Iosif is into torture first, kill later." Callen's voice deepened with the memories of his time in Iosif Romanov's control. "Deeks, if I'm right and Iosif is there, we need him alive. He and I need to have a little chat when this is over. Get him and take him to the boatshed. We will all meet back there. Paris, Roy? You grab Delaney and Sarah and get out. I will get Kamran. Keep an eye out for an office. I can't see it being there but who knows. We may not find Iosif's office but the Vidale's? Maybe we get lucky. All the more reason to take Iosif, Casaer and Emilio alive."

"The Blackguard?" Paris asked.

"What about them? We take them alive. Once I get what I need then they can decide who gets them." Callen stated coldly, "But to be clear? They are mine first."

There was no doubt in anyone's mind what he had planned and no one was about to argue.

"Ready?" Callen asked looking around the room. When everyone nodded their acceptance he continued. "Eric, Nell, guide us in and update us if there are any changes."

"You got it," Eric said followed by Nell's, "Be careful out there."

"Okay, Head down and gear up." Callen ordered.

"Do you need help binding the rib or is it just bruised?" Ziva asked.

"Just bruised. We don't have time to deal with something an aspirin will take care of for now." Callen said.

As they reached the bottom of the stairs and headed for the armory, Callen looked over and saw Sam staring straight at him with a cold hard glare. He couldn't blame him. He was right when he said Callen's very presence was a danger to everyone around him. Bringing his daughter home was all he could do for him now. He would not let Michelle down. Giving Sam an understanding nod, he went to join the others.

They made short work of their prep and were on their way.


	32. Chapter 32

**DISCLAIMER: They aren't mine. I don't own a single character of NCIS/NCIS LA. What I do own is ever other character you run into throughout this story. Should they resemble any other person on the planet living or fictional... it is entirely coincidental.**

 **A/N: So, it's a mite early for my next post really, but I find myself not feeling the greatest and decided I would post it now before I don't feel like it later. If it turns out I'm wrong and this is as bad as it gets then bonus for all of us... I get to feel better faster and you get an extra chapter. Win/win.**

 **Let me just say once more how incredibly thankful I am to all of you for reading and supporting this story. The reviews have been awesome and I have to tell you... you guys are great for the self-esteem. HA. I have been overwhelmed by the wonderful notes of encouragement you leave after each chapter. Thank you, thank you, thank you... plus also, keep 'em coming.**

 **This chapter isn't as long but it's busy. I hope you enjoy. We're getting there. I'm going to go make myself a cup of tea and nibble some short bread as I wait to hear what you think.**

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Sitting back, watching the house through binoculars, they waited for Eric and Nell to pass along any new information. Coms in and guns ready, Callen was just itching to get started.

"The text from Blackguard…" Ziva began.

"Was not important." Callen finished.

"Are you sure? Leon made it sound intense." Ziva tried again.

"Let's do this, let's pretend it's none of your business." Callen said sufficiently ending their conversation.

"You have at least two men guarding the back… one to the side… obviously the two you see in the front. I have no idea how many are inside." Nell informed.

"Thanks Nell. Okay, first things first. Ziva and Paris. I think we need a distraction for those two men. Roy, you and I will work around to the side and take the one out back there. Once they are down, Deeks and Kensi catch the back. We will enter the house on my count.

With mutual agreement they moved forward. Systematically, the guards began to fall.

"Roy, Delaney and Sarah are in the second room back on left." Callen whispered into coms.

"Callen, we found another building where we believe they are holding Wellesley and Styles." Nell cut in.

"Is Richard's team available?" Callen asked.

"Checking… yes" Eric stated.

"Send them in… Emilio, Casaer and Iosif are to be taken alive. We will meet up at the boatshed."

"Understood."

"Are we clear to go?"

"Ready when you are Callen" Deeks said.

"On your count" Paris called.

"3, 2, 1 Go!" Callen called out.

Swiftly and efficiently they entered and began clearing room by room gunfire followed through the house. Roy and Paris found the room with Delaney and Sarah but no Kamran.

"Take them and head back to the cars. Soon as we finish clearing the house you head back with them. Kensi, you and Deeks find anything?" Callen asked.

"We have one Carlos Gutierrez and a whole lot of evidence linking the Vidales to the Mendoza cartel and Romanov." Deeks almost sang into the coms.

Callen and Ziva kept moving through the house, "Where the hell is she?" Callen asked no one in particular as he tore the house apart. As hope dwindled, Callen turned to the only person left standing. Barging through the house he grabbed Carlos from Deeks hands and threw him into a wall, "Where is she?" he growled. The intensity with which Callen handled Carlos startled all of them…except perhaps, Ziva. Ziva stood back, alert but unwilling to interrupt.

"I'm not telling you anything." Carlos smirked.

"Oh, tough guy…" Callen returned the smirk right before throwing a gut punch then swinging him around and pushing him over a table.

"Where. Is. She?" Callen asked again as he grabbed him and pulled him back to a standing position.

"I'm not telling you… They'll kill me." He sputtered.

"They are the least of your troubles." Callen growled pulling his gun on him.

"What? You ain't gonna hurt me. I'm your only hope of finding that little girl." He stated smugly.

"You over estimate your importance. I'm here to tell you, your very existence depends on your telling me everything I want to know. Understand, I don't have to kill you. To get what I want simply requires encouragement… subtle or maybe NOT so subtle persuasion. You have apparently not spent much time with Iosif Romanov…" Callen said coldly as he took aim and shot him in the muscle just above the knee.

"You shot me?!" Carlos screamed in pain before falling to the floor as Deeks and Kensi stepped back in shock. This was a side of Callen they had never seen before. It had always been suspected that his time before NCIS had been far darker. By the time they got to know Callen he had learned to control much of his emotion. Never had Kensi thought him capable of such anger and violence. Deeks, on the other hand, had spent enough time playing Max Gentry that he knew… he understood. What was hard to see was the fact that Callen seemed to be reveling in the pain he was causing the man.

"Huh, yeah, I guess I did" Callen smirked. His face hardened, his voice menacing, "and if you don't tell me what I want to know then I will continue to tear you apart piece by piece. Now, where is Kamran Hanna? Where are all the others you've taken?

When he hesitated, Callen took aim at the opposite leg.

"No! No! Basement."

"There is no basement" Callen hissed.

"Yes, there is. Door is behind the panel next to fireplace. The switch is under the mantle.

"Ziva, go check. If they are, in fact, down there… get them out and go!" Callen ordered before turning back to Carlos, "Kamran. Where is she?"

"Iosif kept her close. When he left he took her with him." Carlos stated.

"Left? Where? When?" Callen asked grabbing his collar and back handing him.

"Airport. Private plane. Right before you got here." He breathed out, licking the blood dripping from the cut in his lip.

"Airport? Rather vague. How about you narrow that down?" Callen demanded as he, once again, raised his hand threateningly.

Carlos cringed in preparation, "He has his own airstrip. I don't know where… I swear! Please!"

"Eric! Find me that airstrip!"

"Been… okay, found it. Address is on your phone." Eric replied.

"Callen, I have 15 kids down here." Ziva said.

"Kensi" Callen ordered. "Go help Ziva get those kids out. Marty, finish up here and then get these kids back to the boatshed."

"Callen, you can't go alone." Deeks said, "I'll go with you."

"No! We have no clue what he's playing at here. You keep them safe. You get them home. Paris and Roy should still be out there to help you. I'll be fine. I will meet you at the boatshed. You tell Sam she's coming home. You hear me, Marty? You take care of them… take care of Sam." Callen allowed for just a moment, a touch of the raw emotion coursing through him before tamping it back down as he turned back to Carlos.

"She ain't going home. You and I both know it. Romanov will never let her leave while you live! You're a fool if you think otherwise." Carlos spat.

"Oh, we'll see about that. I've been called many things over the years… fool is rarely one of them. Now, dangerous, deadly, stubborn, irrational… maybe." Callen taunted.

"You want me to take him back?" Marty asked, fearing the answer.

"No, I've been given my orders. I do follow orders… sucks for you though, Carlos." Callen sneered.

"What… what orders?" Carlos asked warily.

"Callen…" Deeks said when the shot rang out that settled any further arguments.

Callen never acknowledged Deeks presence still in the room. Heading for the door he grabbed up several additional guns and ammo he found lying around the house. Passing through the living room, he spared a brief moment to look at the kids gathering from the basement. He saw the scared looks, the uncertainty, the desire for safety, the lack of trust. In his mind's eye he saw Daniel and Isobelle's faces mixed in. Once again the pain he felt in his soul rose to the surface causing the hardened shell to crack. He looked at the kids gathered, "You're going home. Have any of you been hurt in any way?" Callen asked softly, his blue eyes bright with emotion. Relieved when they all shook their heads and he could see the truth in their eyes. "You are safe now. These people will take you to meet your parents." They all nodded their understanding and relief.

Callen cast a glance towards the members of his team. "Keep them safe." He said as his countenance began to transform right before them, becoming who he needed to be for the next leg of the operation… his eyes cold and dark, his voice commanding and hard, "at all cost" he finished before turning to the door.

"Is it just me or does it seem like he's not so concerned about coming back?" Deeks whispered.

"Right now? It's all about getting Kamran back for Sam." Kensi replied.


	33. Chapter 33

**DISCLAIMER: NONE OF THE NCIS/NCIS LA characters belong to me... however, any and all other characters are all my creation. Any resemblances to any persons living or other is completely coincidental.**

 **A/N: Hi there. Happy Thursday to you! Well, here we go. Callen is on the hunt! We all know he is like a dog with a bone. Nothing stands in his way! Question is... who comes home? Well, the answer to that question starts here!**

 **Thank you so much for your kind reviews. You have made me such a happy happy writer. You have been fantastic in your support. I do hope you hang in there with me until the end. Is there really EVER an ending? ORRRRRR is it just the beginning to another story? hmmmmmmm. Anyway, I look forward to hearing from you all! Please drop a note to me when you are done reading... I will be waiting!**

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Callen drove at breakneck speed. He stopped short of the airstrip, grabbed his bag of supplies and headed out on foot. He knew the plane wouldn't leave. Iosif wasn't done. He didn't kidnap Kamran for any other reason than to draw him out. However, he also knew there was truly only two options that allowed Kamran to return home. One option, he surrender himself back into Iosif's sadistic hands or option two, which he preferred, kill him. Unfortunately, as of the moment, he knew option one was the only way to ensure her immediate safety. After watching and waiting for the better part of 30 minutes. He knew she was on the plane. Iosif was no dummy, He would keep her close until he got what he wanted… Callen.

Leaving behind his bag of tricks, he approached the plane with his hands extended. "Iosif!" He yelled out. "You wanted me, so here I am!"

"Ah, Agent Callen. I wondered how long it would take you…" Iosif sneered.

"I want to see her." Callen ordered.

"You amuse me with your demands. You, who have no weapon and are surrounded." with one hand motion, the armed guards moved toward him. Waiting for just the right moment and opportunity, Callen grasped the gun barrel of the man to his left grabbing his arm under his own and using the gun he shot the guard to his right, another from behind before backhanding the gun holder rendering him unconscious. He next pointed the gun directly at Iosif, "Again, I want to see her." Callen growled.

Iosif snapped his fingers and Callen heard the shuffling and a small cry he knew to be Kamran's. "Uncle Callen!" she cried out when she saw him.

Callen gave, what he hoped, was a reassuring smile.

"Put the gun down and we will go have a nice chat in the office. Come to an understanding, if you will," he said stroking Kamran's head.

Callen seethed inside. He wanted nothing more than to tear the man limb from limb. Over the course of the two years with Blackguard, he'd noticed how much angrier he'd become… and more prone to handling that anger with violence. As he stood there, muscles tight and aching to release that tension on the man in front of him, he saw the pure innocence in Kamran's face. He would do nothing to rob her of that innocence if he could help it.

"There is only one understanding, you release her and let her walk away. Then and only then will I put down this gun." Callen stated.

Iosif thought for a moment before releasing his hold on the girl.

"Kamran, come to me. It's okay, you're going home."

She turned to look at her captor who returned the gaze with a wicked smile pasted on his face. As a cold shiver ran through her, she turned and began the decent down the stairs, quickly making her way to Callen. Everything from the past few years, forgotten if only briefly.

"Uncle Callen! I want to go home." She cried, hugging him.

"You're going to sweetie, I promise. I want you to…" Callen proceeded to tell her where he'd hid the bag and left the car, "You stay hid until you see me coming. If you don't hear from me in 30 minutes then you head to the car and call Kensi. You hear me?" Callen asked, speaking quickly before Iosif could hear.

"Yes, Uncle Callen… but why can't you come with me?" she asked, tears streaming down her face.

"Because Uncle Callen and I have some unfinished business. Once we are done you will be free to go." One of his men went to grab Kamran when Callen pushed him back, giving Kamran time to break loose.

"Run, Kam!" Callen yelled just as the butt of a rifle connected with the side of his head.

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

"Wakey, wakey, Agent Callen," Iosif said as one of his men splashed a bucket of water in his face.

Coughing and sputtering, Callen jarred himself awake.

"You disappoint me, Callen. I thought we made a deal… but I see that's not possible… so Miss Hanna will have to share in your unfortunate demise. Callen shook his head trying to clear the fog and quickly regretting the move, almost as much as the deep breath he took.

"I'm afraid my men are rather careless at times. They may have 'accidentally' bumped you or dropped you… I may have seen one 'trip' over you a time or two…" he chuckled.

Finding himself zip tied to a chair by his hands and feet and knowing that Kamran was somewhere in the building had his heart racing.

Iosif laughed as if reading his thoughts, "She's fine… for now. I fear that is a short lived truth for both of you. However, before I go… we have some unfinished business. We could have made a great team, you know… but no, and now … now you orchestrate the murder of several family members.

"Anyone ever tell you, you talk too much?" Callen said, "I have a headache and you aren't helping it none."

Iosif's face reddened in anger as he landed a blow to Callen's face, knocking his head back and another to his stomach. As pain shot through him and his breath escaped him, he heard the despairing cry from Sam's daughter and refused to allow her to hear him cry out in pain… refused to allow her to see their captor win. This only enraged Iosif Romanov further.

"I grow weary of your unwillingness to play along. Shame, I did so enjoy our time together. You played the game so well. Your screams were music to my ears. You tried so hard to fight back. Such a challenge."

"All good things must come to an end. So how about you cut me loose here and we'll be on our way. We're kind of late as it is." Callen stated.

Iosif gave a humorless laugh before backhanding him.

Callen ran his tongue over the fresh cut on his lip.

"You will not be going anywhere, I'm afraid, and that includes your ex-partner's daughter over there. Poor man… lost his wife and now his daughter and it's all your fault." Iosif taunted Callen. "As much as I would like to stay and watch as my men share with you their many talents, however, I have a plane to catch. I am afraid this is farewell, Agent G. Callen. Let's make sure our friend here has something to remember me by, yes? Leave the girl unharmed but make sure she watches…" Iosif said as he looked Callen in the eye and gave him a wicked smile before finishing his orders, "that will be added pain for our dear Mr. Callen. Having to watch him suffer while dying because of her favorite Uncle should be torture enough for them both. Be quick and leave no proof. Horrible accidents happen every day." He laughed as he backhanded Callen once more before walking towards the door.

"Yes, sir!" his men called from behind.

Callen fumed. He knew he'd not be able to stop him this time. Kamran had to come first.

"Enjoy!" Romanov called out as the warehouse door clanged shut.

A knot formed in Callen's stomach as three men advanced. Cutting his ties, two men lifted him from his chair as the third began their assault with a gut punch then one to the ribs that left him gasping for air as he felt at least one rib crack. As he weakened, the other two lessoned their hold as they added a few blows of their own. A few kidney shots and he dropped to his knees. He could hear the muffled cry from somewhere behind. He wasn't sure what their plans were for them but he knew it was more than this. He thought of fighting back but worried about a stray bullet. He had to buy time till they left and hope they could make an escape. If they did, he'd have a lot of time on his hands since he would surely be considered unwanted within the agencies. Blackguard would be pacified with the information gathered. If he was lucky they'd let him go after Romanov in order to close the case before cutting him loose altogether.

Another few hits and a kick or two to his middle and Callen finally had all he could take. He threw one leg out causing one attacker to fall then followed up with an elbow to the face. Before he could get up, he took a kick to the head, knocking him out.

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

"Okay, let's get them back to the boatshed," Paris said as they loaded the last of the kids and evidence into the cars.

"Hetty has medical personnel waiting." Kensi confirmed.

"Eric is alerting parents and they are also being directed to the boatshed."

"What about Callen?" Kensi asked.

"He'll bring her home." Ziva said, though her concerns were equal to the others.

She should have gone with him but he was right in regards to the orders he gave. Though she was sure Sam wouldn't see it that way.


	34. Chapter 34

**DISCLAIMER: Nope, no matter how much I wish... NCIS and NCIS/LA characters do not belong to me. All other characters, however, are another matter all together and they DO, in fact, belong to me. Any resemblance you may find in them to people living or other is purely coincidental.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi everyone! So sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. I went away and decided not to take my computer before realizing that meant I wouldn't be able to post. I just got in and before I go up to unpack and fall into bed I decided to go ahead and get this posted. It may have been better to wait until after Thanksgiving since you will all be happy with family and food. Still I wanted the chance to let you know how THANKFUL I am to all of you who have been so completely supportive of this story and kindly left reviews. Thank you. So here we go... Please read and when you are done, stop in and let me know what you think. Even if you have been reading all along but haven't left a review as yet... It's never too late to start. I would love to hear from you. You are all awesome and I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving.**

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"Uncle Callen! Uncle Callen!" Kamran cried out, "Please, wake up!" Her voice now more of a croak as the building filled with smoke.

Groaning, he attempted to open his eyes, his head throbbing. He shifted, finding his hands zip tied behind his back.

"Uncle Callen?! Please, wake up!" Kamran was coughing now which brought him out of his stupor.

"Kamran?" He called out, coughing now as well.

"Uncle Callen! Help me!" she cried.

Callen moved around until he got himself into a seated position. Then, using a technique he'd been practicing he managed to break the zip tie. Sam always teased him when he would catch him attempting to escape different types of confines. He really razzed him about the straight jacket. Still, you never know what situation you may find yourself in.

Staying low, he crawled toward the sounds of Kamran's choked sobs. He finally found her tied to a chair behind a pile of boxes.

Making quick work of her bindings he grabbed her and pulled her to the floor.

Uncle Callen, I'm scared." She sobbed, shaking.

Callen pulled her to him and hugged her briefly, "I know… but I need you to be brave. There's windows at the far end of the building… think you can make it?"

"Yes, I'm okay. I just want to go home."

"You will. I promise." Callen said, "Hold onto me and don't let go… we need to move fast."

Staying low in an attempt to avoid the smoke, they worked their way quickly around the perimeter… Finally coming to a door, he found it locked. The window closest was higher up. The smoke was getting thick and Kamran was struggling and truth be known so was he. Looking around then, he found a table and crates. Grabbing the table, he began stacking crates so they could climb up to the window.

"Okay, this is it, you ready?" Callen asked between coughs. Kamran only nodded. "I'm going to break the window, when I do, I want you to move quickly. We don't have much time before the place is engulfed." Callen climbed back up and used his elbow to break the window. He jumped down quickly as the fresh air only fed the flames already surrounding them. Realizing Kamran wasn't coming, he climbed down off the table only to find her unconscious. Not giving himself time to think, he picked her up and began climbing. Once out the window, he dropped to the ground, thankful he was able to absorb the brunt of the fall. Quickly he moved a safe distance from the building before gently laying her down. Finding she was not breathing he quickly began CPR. Callen was not one to scare easily but this was a whole different ballgame. She'd had him wrapped around her little finger almost from the moment they'd met. Seeing her so lifeless had him near panic. Between that and the amount of smoke he'd taken in, he found it difficult to do the rescue breathing and prayed it would be enough. After just a few breaths, though, came a gasp for air followed by choking coughs. Callen rested back on his knees as he ran a hand over his face in relief.

Helping her to a sitting position in an effort to pull in more air, he softly rubbed her back. "Easy does it, Kam… slow deep breaths…" He gently picked her up biting back against the pain that ripped through him.

"Are we going home?" she asked softly.

"Yeah, honny, you're going home. You concentrate on your breathing. Save that voice for your dad… okay?" Callen replied, relishing the brief moments he'd have with her before they reached the boatshed. He knew there would be medical staff on site to help her. He grabbed the go bag he left hidden after leaving the car. They stopped only long enough to grab the bottle of water out.

"Here drink this, it will help." Kamran nodded taking the water, "Small sips, I don't want you to choke."

Once they reached the car, he tucked her into the front seat where he could keep a close eye on her breathing. Jumping into the driver's seat, he started the car and made a beeline for the boatshed.

The boatshed was crowded with parents of the children brought in plus medical personnel. There were two interrogation rooms. One held Emilio Martinez and the other was being used for medical as each child was checked out and questioned briefly. Nate, whom Hetty requested come back, was speaking to both parents and children before giving them names of qualified and approved doctors who could help them transition through the difficult days and weeks ahead.

Paris and Roy were guarding the door while Deeks stayed near the interrogation rooms and Kensi and Ziva questioned the children. Hetty tried to keep Sam calm as they awaited word from Callen. Emotions were running high all around.

Finally, the last of the families were preparing to leave when Eric and Nell appeared on the screen.

"Hetty…"

"What is it Eric?" Have you contacted Mr. Callen?" Hetty asked.

"No. His phone is either turned off or…" Eric stalled.

"We received word that there has been an explosion at a warehouse… THE warehouse…" Nell stated nervously.

"What are you talking about?" Sam ordered.

"Mr. Hanna, Please, sit down. Do we have video?" Hetty requested.

"We're pulling it up." Nell answered.

"Is there any sign of Mr. Callen and Miss Hanna?"

"So far, no. Fire and rescue are on site now. No signs of anyone yet. They will keep us posted." Nell replied.

"Keep searching the video feedback. Look for his car perhaps." Hetty ordered.

"Absolutely," Nell said, "We are accessing the cameras on the warehouse. We will let you know what we find."

"Thank you Miss Jones."

"Hetty, I'm going!" Sam jumped out of his seat, "Give me your keys, Kensi."

"Sam, you will not leave this building. I will send Mr. and Mrs. Deeks and Miss David. But you will not be going." Hetty's voice brooked no argument.

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The trip back was a quiet one for the most part. Kamran watched Callen as he drove. He could feel her eyes on him but said nothing. "Uncle Callen! You're hurt…"

Callen shot her a glance, "What?"

"Your arm is burned, doesn't it hurt?" she asked, surprised.

Callen looked at his arm, "Guess not, didn't even notice it till now." He answered with a small smile. He knew once the adrenaline rush ended he would be feeling it then.

As they pulled into the parking lot, he was relieved to see they had all made it back. "We're here Kam." he said quietly. When she didn't respond, he looked and for a brief moment panic tightened in his chest once more, until he realized she had just fallen asleep. In an effort to reassure himself he checked her pulse, comforted by the steady beat he found there.

He knew she had to be exhausted after everything that had happened and when she made no move to wake up, he once again braced himself as he picked up and held her in his arms. His emotions, strangely enough, were all over the place. He couldn't go in there and face Sam that way. So, with each step closer to the building he systematically locked those feelings away, leaving him with a sense of detachment. The same attitude he carried through every other case. The same one Sam called cold hearted. Still… even as he passed the families, now taking their children home, he had no other thought but to see his mission done. Yes, he was ordered to save these other children but they were all safe now and in their parent's custody once more. Now, he had only one objective and it wasn't about these other families… he didn't see them… his only objective was this little girl… only Kamran and seeing to it that she was once again safe in her father's arms.

Paris looked up and saw him coming and motioned to Roy to offer him help.

Callen only held on that much tighter, as if she were a valuable treasure to be protected at all cost. So instead, Roy held the door open for him to enter.

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"Hetty, she's my daughter. I have a right to go!" Sam growled.

"Mr. Hanna, that's an order!" Hetty's voice raised until she caught unexpected movement and she saw Callen standing there, the sleeping girl in his arms. Gently, Hetty placed her hand on Sam's arm causing him to pause in his rebuttal and turn to follow her gaze.

"Mr. Callen?" Hetty asked cautiously with no reply. Callen's eyes settled on Sam, who for a moment, only stared at the man in front of him. No one dared move, unsure of Sam's reaction.

Sam's eyes locked with Callen's. Callen could see his apprehension. With a slight whisper, Kamran's eyes fluttered open. She looked up at Callen then followed his gaze until it met with her dad. "Daddy?" she asked, her voice hoarse.

It was then that Sam moved, meeting them half way. Callen gently placed her in her father's arms. Aiden, who had been out on the deck came into the room. First noticing Callen and then his sister as he handed her to his father. "Dad?" Aiden asked.

"She's fine, son" Sam replied, hugging her close.

"She needs checked for smoke inhalation", was all Callen said.

Sam looked into Callen's eyes once more and Callen gave a nod in reply to the unspoken conversation.

"Over two years apart, angry as hell at each other and they can still do that" Deeks mumbled. Kensi just grinned.

Callen watched as they followed Sam to see Kamran. It was only because of Callen that any of them even knew Sam had a family. Since that day, they had all become an intricate part of his family.

Knowing the deal he'd made, he turned to go, stopped by the realization that Emilio Martinez sat in the interrogation room. Any lingering emotion drained away to nothing but pure hate… eyes hardened, jaw clinched, he moved smoothly through the chaos to the interrogation room.


	35. Chapter 35

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own any of the NCIS/NCIS LA team. I do, however, own a whole host of other characters... most of them are bad guys, I admit... but they are mine. Any resemblance to people living or other... purely coincidental.**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi there! Well, I've had my turkey dinner... gotta love those homemade noodles just like Grandma made. YUM! Had pie that would make you cry it is so good... and I've read all the updates on some wonderful stories here and now I'm ready to post my next chapter here. I tried to think of a way to work Thanksgiving dinner into one of the chapter but I decided to just wait and perhaps we will see one come Christmas... we shall see. In the meantime, THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH for all the wonderful reviews. You have no idea how it makes my day to look and see that you have not only taken the time to read my story but also took the time to leave me a note. You are all awesome! I truly appreciate you! saying that, here it is. Let me know what you think!**

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He closed the door, "Hello Emilio… bet you didn't expect to see me again. Funny how that keeps happening," Callen smirked.

"Just means Iosif hasn't gotten to you yet," Emilio returned unthreatened.

"Oh, but he tried… and ultimately failed. Just as you have." Callen shot back.

"You got nothing on me. I'll be out before you know it." Emilio leaned forward, "and when I do… you'll be sorry."

"About that. I have what is needed to put you away for a very long time and for your sake, you had better hope I'm right", Callen said as he walked the perimeter of the room until he reached the camera and turned it off before continuing. "because if you so much as blink wrong… step out of line in anyway… If need be… we will have another little chat, just the two of us… and it won't be quite so cordial. I might find it necessary to use force." He said as he walked by giving a harsh slap to the side of the head. "I believe you and Iosif are familiar with some of these tactics… broken fingers," he mentioned as he grabbed his hand and proceeded to dislocate several fingers. "If that didn't work then you would on occasion sport a knife…" Callen pulled one out and held the blade in front of his face, noticing the sweat on the man's brow. Putting the knife back he got real close to his face as his hand came to the back of his neck… then in one swift motion he slammed his head down on the table and held it there, "Let me just be clear, here… you count yourself lucky to have a jail cell in your future. I could just as easily kill you right now at the bidding of our government. I could use any number of techniques that would make it look natural. However, if I hear you've managed to weasel your way out of this? I will find you and when I do, let's just say your freedom will be painfully short lived… emphasis on painful. Don't think I can't reach you in prison, if I so desire."

Emilio struggled against his hand, which continued to tighten around his neck. Callen just moved closer as he growled directly into his ear. "A lot has changed in the past 20 years, Emilio… A lot. Do not doubt me when I say I can squash you like the worm you are and don't think for a moment I won't. Just one tiny screw up and I will come for you… you won't see me until it's too late." With that he gave a final squeeze to his throat causing him to lose consciousness.

Callen released a breath and with it, attempted to put away the hate that burned beneath his skin. Kamran was home where she belonged. The two agents were heading home to their families with their daughter and niece. Fifteen kids were back with their families safe and sound. All was as it should be and he hoped that Sam could move forward with a fresh resolve.

Leaving the interrogation room, he turned left to head out the back door and leave the others to their reunion and celebration.

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"Oh baby girl! You had me so scared" Sam said as the Dr. looked her over and listened to her lungs, heart and airways.

"Daddy, I'm fine. Thanks to Uncle Callen." Kamran said.

"Did you lose consciousness at any point?" the doctor asked.

"Yes, Uncle Callen had to climb and break a window and it was so smoky and hard to breathe. I got sleepy." Kamran explained, "Then I woke up and we were outside. Uncle Callen had to use CPR and then he carried me to the car and gave me water to drink."

"Well, you are a very lucky girl." The doctor said patting her knee, "She sounds clear for the most part. Nothing concerning right now. The oxygen seems to have helped with soothing the airways. Just keep a close eye on her through the night. Sometimes airways can become inflamed and swell. If she has any breathing trouble, get her to the hospital, otherwise plenty of water and take it easy… work on taking slow, deep breaths."

"That's what Uncle Callen said," Kamran replied while looking around. "You need to check Uncle Callen. He got loads more smoke than me and he burned his arm… Where'd he go, daddy?"

Everyone began looking around.

"His car's still here." Deeks said, "But he's not out there."

"Not on the deck" Paris said.

"He's been in the interrogation room but I figure he left out the back when he finished." Ziva said nonchalantly.

Ziva had caught Callen as he'd walked out of the interrogation room. Knowing he'd need his space now that it was all over, she'd handed him her phone, "You call me when you've figured it out" she'd told him. "You call my office number or Gibbs. He's gonna be angry if you disappear, you know." He took the phone but said nothing, just turned and walked away.

"Is he…" Hetty began.

"He was unconscious briefly, I'd guess and a couple dislocated fingers I'm sure the good doctor can fix here. Otherwise, I think he's ready to be tucked into jail for the night." Ziva smiled, well aware of Callen's tactics.

"Well then doctor, if you'd be so kind… but not too kind." Hetty encouraged.

"Eric?" Hetty opened the link to ops.

"Yeah, Hetty?"

"Bring up the cameras around the boatshed. Find out which way Mr. Callen went, won't you? Also, Nell, I'd like to see the footage of the warehouse camera… anything showing how and where Callen and Miss Hanna escaped.

"On it Hetty."

"Looks like Callen came out the back door approximately 15 minutes ago but it didn't take long for him to hide from the cameras. Sorry."

"Keep an eye open, Mr. Beale" Hetty said.

"Kaleidoscope is on the job" Nell assured.

"Daddy, Uncle Callen is coming back, right?" Kamran asked.

"I don't know, baby, but don't you worry. G is able to take care of himself… we need to take care of you, right now." Sam replied.

Aiden got up and went out onto the deck and stared out across the water.

"It is peaceful…" Ziva stated as she walked up and leaned on the railing. She knew that Callen had regrets about leaving Sam's kids behind. He had mentioned it briefly after they'd done a night of drinking. He had said it was what Sam wanted and it was hard knowing he'd disappointed Aiden and Kamran… and Michelle.

"You're a friend of G's." Aiden said more than asked.

"Yes, I am" Ziva answered simply.

"So do you know where he is?" Aiden asked her.

"I do not." Ziva replied.

"Great" he mumbled.

Ziva watched him from her periphery, "He cares deeply about you and your sister."

"He has a funny way of showing it." Aiden stated ruefully.

"Did he not just save your sister's life?" Ziva asked.

Aiden stood quietly thinking of what could have happened, "Why did he leave?"

"I think he needs some time to work through the day's events just like all of you."

"No, why did he leave in the first place? My dad and sister needed him. I needed him." Aiden's voice had a chill to it.

"You need to ask Callen. It's a bit more difficult than you make it seem." Ziva explained.

"Fat chance of that happening" Aiden replied sourly.

Ziva debated briefly, "Do you have your phone?"

Searching his jacket he pulled out his phone and held it up.

Ziva took the phone and went to his contact list and typed an additional phone number under Callen's old one. "This number is for your eyes and your eyes only. You do not give it to anyone else or he will throw the phone away. You may need to text a message so he will know whose calling. Talk to him. Listen to him." Ziva handed the phone back to him. "He is an honorable man. He never meant to hurt you or your sister."

Aiden glanced at the phone as Ziva re-entered the building. Waiting a moment, he then followed her in.

"It's been a long few days. I think it's time everyone go home and get some rest." Hetty advised. "Mr. and Mrs. Deeks, feel free to take the rest of the week off. Miss Kolchek has been sent out on a case. For now, we are in stand down. Monday is soon enough for reports."

"Thank you, Hetty" Deeks replied absently.

"Mr. Beale, Miss Jones, please keep the program running in order to alert us should Mr. Callen pop up. Beyond that, you are free to go." Hetty continued, "and you, Miss David. What are your plans, may I ask?"

"I have spoken with Director Vance to update him. Since the case is closed, as of now I am to return to DC. I will be heading to the hotel to get my things and then to the airport upon leaving here." Ziva answered.

"I see. Well it was lovely meeting you." Hetty offered.

"Take care, Hetty Lange. Should Callen choose to come back, take heed. Your team has been cruel in their judgements. You have much to make up for. He is a good man and deserves better than he has been dealt." Ziva replied as she turned to leave.

Hetty watched her walk away. She liked the girl's tenacity. She could see why Gibbs chose her for his team. She was his "Callen". She couldn't argue with what she had to say either. She was right. They had been very unfair. She prayed that they would be given the opportunity to attempt to make things right.

"Now. Mr. Hanna, take your family home. Please call should you need anything. Sam, when you are ready, call me and we will figure this out."

"Thank you, Hetty." Sam replied softly.

"Hey Dad, I have a stop to make and then I'll be home. You two be okay?" Aiden asked.

"Be careful." Sam said, "We've had enough excitement for one day."

"Yes, sir, I'll see you in a bit, sis. You behave for dad." Aiden leaned down and gave her a hug.

Once in his car, he took his phone out and called the recently added number. When no one answered, he remembered Ziva's suggestion and sent a text, "Uncle G. Need to talk. Please call, Aiden."


	36. Chapter 36

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCIS/NCIS LA characters.**

 **A/N: Hi there. It's a bit early for my next post but This has proven to be a disappointing weekend and so in order to distract myself I have decided to go ahead and post the next chapter. What's the worse that could happen? We end sooner? Yeah, I know, bums me too. Well, I hope you enjoy it and that you will continue your kindness and drop me a line with your thoughts after you finish reading. Thank you. I really do appreciate each and every review you send. Brightens the day, don'tcha know. Have at it...**

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Callen once again looked at the phone. He sat looking at the message and against his better judgement, hit 'call' as he waited for him to answer.

"Uncle G?" Aiden answered.

"Hello, Aiden"

Surprised by the lack of emotion in the greeting he continued, "Can we talk?"

"What do you need, Aiden. Is Kamran okay?" Finally, sincerity, Aiden thought.

"She's fine. I need to talk to you, Uncle G. I have questions that need answers. Can we meet somewhere?" he asked.

For a moment, Aiden thought he may have hung up but then finally, quietly, the reply came, "when?"

"Tonight, now?" Aiden answered.

"Tonight? I'm in the middle of something… Give me an hour… Venice beach, by the Rec. Center. We can take a walk from there."

"Okay, one hour, Venice Beach, Rec. Center. Got it." Aiden confirmed.

Callen hung up and leaned his head against the back of the couch in his boarding room. He'd just finished dressing the burn on his arm. It wasn't severe and would probably heal without scarring for a change. Still, since the adrenaline had stopped pumping, it had truly begun to sting. He'd stopped at a little shop down the street and bought first aid supplies. He'd showered and cleaned up before dressing the burn. Now he simply felt exhausted. His throat hurt almost as if he'd burned it too. On top of that he'd developed not only an annoying cough but a headache that wouldn't stop. The last thing he felt like doing was going anywhere. He just wanted to go to bed. Still, it was Aiden and he couldn't bear to disappoint him again. Pushing up off the couch, he grabbed at his middle, attempting to thwart the pain in his ribs as he broke into another coughing fit. Snatching up a bottle of water he headed out, down towards the beach… careful to avoid all cameras in the process.

Aiden sat, waiting, at the Rec. Center. He glanced at his watch again, "Sorry I'm late." Callen offered, startling the boy.

He quickly stood to face Callen eye to eye and held out his hand, "Uncle G."

"Aiden" Callen responded, accepting his hand.

Aiden noticed how hoarse Callen's voice had gotten since the little he'd heard him speak earlier, "So, where to?" he asked.

"Mind if we just sit for a few?" Callen suggested, easing himself down onto the bench.

He eyed his uncle carefully, noting the slow movements.

"You okay Uncle G.?"

"Getting old," Callen smirked then revised his answer when the first failed to convince. "Been a long few days… tired."

"Kam said you got burned."

Holding up the bandaged arm, Callen asked, "So, you wanted to talk. You said you had questions needing answered?"

"Right, Kam wants to know if you are coming back." Aiden started.

"Wait. Sam and Kamran know you're here?" Callen asked, immediately on edge and scanning the area.

"No, no one knows I'm here, except your friend Ziva." He quickly assured him then continued as he saw him begin to relax a bit, "So, are you? … Coming back?"

"Not in my plans, to be honest." Callen replied.

Aiden's voice hardened as he spoke, "Why? Why come back at all? Why did you leave in the first place? Kamran cried for weeks and never stopped watching for you to come. Now she's going to be hurt all over again." Aiden yelled, standing and turning to face Callen.

Callen never looked up, "It's complicated. You need to ask your dad. I'll say this, it had nothing to do with you or your sister. Things happened. I came back to do a job. I never meant for you to know. Look, I will always be there for you and Kamran. You have my number. I'm just borrowing this until I get a new one. You need me, call."

"But you haven't been there. Kamran needed you… and you weren't there. My dad needed you, but you left. And me! I needed you here, Uncle G. We needed you!" He yelled once more.

"I'm sorry. I do regret not staying in touch with you kids. But your dad? No. No, he was very clear about where I was and was not needed. I can't change anything. I can only say I'm sorry that you and Kam were lost in the middle."

Aiden could hear the truth in what he said. Silence filled the space between them when Callen stood up. A coughing fit grabbed hold of him and he held his arms at his middle to support his ribs.

"You sure you are okay?"

"Fine." He rasped. He held his hand out, "You have my number. Use it, don't use it. Just know that I'm there for you."

Aiden shook his hand and watched as he walked away. It was late when he got home, "Where've you been?" Sam demanded, "You had me worried."

"Sorry Dad. I just had things to do." he responded, "How's Kamran?"

"She's sleeping on the couch. She was worried as well. Now what, exactly, did you have to do that was so important?" Sam asked again.

"I went to see Uncle G."

"Wait. You what? How?" Sam asked in shock.

"Ziva," they said simultaneously.

"He has her phone because his was lost saving Kam." Aiden confirmed.

"And? How did it go?" Sam pushed.

Aiden thought about their conversation, "okay… not great. He wasn't feeling good, so we didn't talk long."

"Not feeling good. Why? What was wrong with him?" Sam asked, concern in his voice. Callen never complained.

"Said he was tired. Had a headache… at least it seemed that way. He was rubbing the back of his neck and head. He kept coughing too and he was losing his voice. Kept holding his arms around his middle like it hurt to cough. Oh, and Kamran was right, he did get burned."

"I told you, daddy. They were really mean to him. They tied him up and beat him. One kicked his head, too." Kamran sobbed, remembering what happened, "He just wanted to bring me home to you!"

Sam took a deep breath as he pulled Kamran and Aiden into a hug. As her sobbing subsided he pulled back and took out his phone.

"Who are you calling?" Aiden asked.

"Eric and Nell. We need to find him." Sam stated. He may not be thrilled with Callen, but it didn't stop him from doing the right thing. Callen never showed weakness if he was at all able to hide it. Something was wrong… very wrong. Regardless of what had happened with the team, Callen had saved his daughter and he owed him that much.

"I know where he's staying." Aiden said with a proud smirk.

"Wait, G. let you know where he's staying." Sam stated, brows raised.

"Not exactly, I followed him."

Sam's concern only grew at the thought his son was able to follow G. Callen undetected. G. Callen, who could catch a tail in a matter of minutes.

"I'm calling Deeks to meet me there. Aiden, go next door and ask Mrs. Maddox if she can watch Kamran."

"No dad. I'm going too."

Sam looked at his daughter and for the briefest moment he heard his wife's stubbornness coming through, "Okay, but you will do as you're told, understand?"

"Yes, Daddy." She replied.

"Get ready to go. Aiden, get her a bottle of water."

"Yes Sir."

Sam paced the room as he waited for Deeks to answer his phone.

"Hey Sam, is Kamran okay?" Deeks asked as he answered the call.

"Yeah, yeah, Kamran's fine." Sam replied absently.

"That's good. So what can I do for you?" he asked, surprised by the call. Sam hadn't called them in ages.

"I need your help. I need you and Kensi to meet me and the kids at Venice Beach Rec. Center." Sam stated.

"Oooookay… why?" Deeks asked skeptically.

"Aiden went to meet Callen to talk. He said he didn't seem right so he followed him to his rooming house." Sam explained.

"Wait, Aiden followed Callen without getting caught?" Deeks was equally shocked.

"Yeah, I was surprised too." Sam stated.

"Sure, okay, we'll meet you there in fifteen." Deeks confirmed.

His head and heart were beating in time. His lungs burned as did his throat. Breaths were becoming harder and harder to pull. Finally he reached his room. Hands shaking, he took out his keys and struggled to open the door. Legs barely taking in the commands his brain sent, he stumbled through, closing the door behind him. His aim was the couch. When another bout of coughing overtook him, he attempted to pull his ringing phone from his pocket as he protected his ribs with his other arm. The phone clamored across the floor as his knees buckled and he slid into darkness.

Sam's charger squealed to a halt next to Kensi's SUV, "Follow me," was all he said.

Aiden guided them to the building Callen had unwittingly guided him to.

"This is where he stayed after he'd been shot." Kensi told Deeks.

"Wow." Deeks said as he climbed out of the car. It wasn't the most pleasant of buildings and knowing where Callen had lived until he gave his house to them, it was the difference of night and day. In all reality, he decided it shouldn't have. Callen made it a goal to blend in and disappear… this was the ideal place for that.

"Kensi, will you stay with Kamran?" Sam asked.

"Sure. No problem."

"Call him again" Sam instructed Aiden as they stood outside the door. They could hear the phone go off but no movement.

Deeks knocked and waited, still no answer.

Not knowing what to expect, Deeks and Sam pulled their guns. Sam counted off using his fingers. On one, he broke the door in.

"Callen!" Deeks yelled when he saw him face down on the floor.

"Oh hell no G!" Sam yelled as he knelt down next to him, "Not again." He breathed out checking his pulse, "It's barely there Deeks."

"Ambulance is on its way. Is he breathing?"

"Hardly. We ain't doin' this G… not before we talk this out. You hear me?" Sam said, remembering the last time he held him this way.

They could hear the sirens.

"Almost here G… G? Deeks, he's stopped breathing!"

Sam laid him on the floor and began CPR until the paramedics ran in and took over. They cut open his T-shirt. Noticing the bruises, "What exactly happened here?" they asked.

Sam proceeded to show his credentials and explained the day's events as they continued to work.

"Is anyone going in the truck with him?"

"Go Sam. I'll bring Aiden in your car and Kamran will go with Kensi." Deeks offered.

"No, that's okay, you go." Sam said.

"No! Get your ass in that ambulance. He needs you! We will see you at the hospital.

Sam didn't argue, much to Deeks relief, but turned to follow the man on the gurney.


	37. Chapter 37

**DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own any characters from NCIS/NCIS LA. I know, I cry too... for if I did, Callen would have some seriously better story lines. I'm just saying.**

 **A/N: Hey there! Hope everyone is having an awesome day/night. Well, we are closing in on the end here. Several chapters are all that stand between us and the end... but then again... is it EVER truly THE END? We have a lot to cover in the coming chapters... so we will start here. Once again, let me know what you think once you finish reading. I would love to hear from everyone that reads. For those that do... I thank you for taking the time to share. I'm listening to what you say. Here we go... I'm just going to go over here in the corner and wait... no pressure... just waiting... No, you did not just hear me sigh...**

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"Daddy, how is Uncle Callen?" Kamran asked immediately as Sam entered the waiting room.

"They're working on him now. Aiden, why don't you take your sister to get a snack? Walk slow. I don't want her getting winded.

"Yes, sir." Aiden said, accepting the money and knowing enough to know there was more going on than what his father had offered in answer to Kamran's question.

As they watched the kids leave, Deeks asked the same question, "So, how is he… really?"

"Not good. They had to intubate him. His vitals are all over the place. Just have to wait until the Doctor comes out." Sam said.

"You don't think he will, well, you know…" Kensi dared ask.

"I don't know. He also sustained a head injury and a couple busted ribs, internal bruising by the looks of him. You know G., never lets anyone know he's hurt or in trouble."

"Survival of the fittest, Mr. Hanna… In foster care you never show weakness. How do you think he became so resourceful in first aid?" Hetty interjected.

"Hetty? But how?" Sam looked at her in confusion.

"I called her. Kamran and I thought she should know." Kensi offered.

"Oh… Yeah, right… no, you're right. I wasn't thinking." Sam stated.

They sat quietly for a bit as they awaited word.

"So did Eric and Nell find the video footage of the fire?" Deeks asked to pass the time.

"Oh, yes, I have them on my tablet actually." Hetty said as she pulled it out and set about searching for it, "Here." She said as they gathered around.

The video showed the glass break from Callen's effort. The smoke thick and dark as it rolled out. Then through the smoke they saw Callen climb out of the window with Kamran's limp body hugged tightly against him, protectively. Gaging his jump, he let go. They could see how it pained him by his guarded movements. Sam's breath caught in his throat as he watched Callen do rescue breathing on his lifeless daughter. A moment later and it turned to a gasp when she came back to life. Kensi took his hand in hers. She knew he wasn't the only one who was having flashbacks to the day Michelle died. Oh how they wished she could have come back with all the effort they put into trying to save her. A tear trailed down her cheek as she watched how Callen took care of Kamran. No one watching could miss the love he had for the girl.

Once he picked her up and started walking, they lost him on the camera, knowing the boatshed was the next place they'd see them.

"You can see that he's hurt." Deeks said.

"Nothing gets in the way when his mind is set. He promised Michelle to keep them safe and he'd do anything in order to fulfill a promise… even to ex-partners. He kept his promise to bring her back to you, as well." Hetty stated in a matter of fact tone.

"Family of Mr. Callen?" the Doctor called from the desk.

Without thought to the past few years, they moved in unison.

"YOU are his family?" the doctor asked skeptically.

As Hetty stepped forward to explain, another voice rose above, "I am his father." The group turned to find Ana standing with Garrison, "You may speak openly here. How is my son?"

"Okay, we did have to intubate, as both lungs were struggling to do the job demanded of them. He's on 100% oxygen at this time to allow them a chance to recover. I was rather concerned by just how compromised they are…"

"He had pneumonia approximately four months ago." Garrison stated, garnering looks all around.

"I see, well I'm glad you told me. It may help in determining care. He is heavily sedated and will remain so for the next few days. Considering the injuries he obtained on top of the smoke inhalation have only further compromised things. Had you waited much longer to bring him in, he wouldn't have made it."

"Will he be okay?" Kensi asked, her voice shaky.

"We are very much in a wait and see situation. As I said, his lungs are barely functioning on their own. His breathing has no doubt been compromised for a while, especially considering the broken and bruised ribs he's sporting. The next 24 hours are critical. The hope is that the meds will kick in and his lungs will function enough to allow us to back him off the ventilator. The longer he is on the ventilator the higher the risk of complications. With having had pneumonia so recently, that only heightens that risk."

The seriousness of the situation settled in everyone's thoughts.

The doctor looked around the group then added, "Now I'm not one for spreading false hope but I've looked at his charts which Miss Lange was kind enough to bring. After reading it, I can see he is not one to follow the norm. From what I read, he's frequently beaten the odds. Let's hope that trend continues here. We have a long 24 hours ahead of us. I also noted he does better when someone stays near. He is in ICU, so for now only 2 visitors at a time." Taking notice of Aiden and Kamran who were standing back waiting, "Be careful what you tell the kids… as I said… He's beaten the odds in the past and while we are doing everything we can to help him do that this time… be careful of false hope. Garrison, is it? If you and one other would like to follow me, I will show you to his room."

The room was quiet but for the many beeps and swishes that accompanied the equipment presently keeping his son alive. Garrison slowly walked to the side of the bed and looked at the man who lay quiet and still. His son. It saddened him to think that it wasn't much less critical when he was forced to leave him then and that his time here would be equally short. It seemed his boy was destined to battles of one sort or another… be it personal or in the line of work. It never seemed he had been with him that he was happy. It would have broken his mother's heart to see him so damaged and broken.

He quietly pulled a chair to the bedside and as he sat down he gently took the limp hand in his own as a tear escaped his own brilliant blue eyes.

Ana debated the reason for her being there. Callen had made it clear he had moved on. It was obvious his relationship with Ziva was more than just business. Still her love for him tugged at her heart. She couldn't just walk away. She had no claim on him, she never did. If one were to be honest, only one person ever received that luxury. Kamran Hanna. He adored the little girl, would do anything for her. Walking to the opposite side of the bed, she took his hand in her own as she gently ran her other hand along his face, "You must fight, Callen. You must wake up so I can see your blue eyes again… please." She begged, wiping away the unbidden tear.

Over the course of the next 24 hours, they took turns sitting with him, watching as the machine forced the air through his lungs. When no change came they again took turns.

"I'm sorry, Garrison, your son's tests have shown little to no improvement. I have changed his meds around, so we will see what happens and re-evaluate in the next 24 hours." The doctor stated quietly.

"Three days G… you've got the Doc talking doom and gloom man. Your dad is walking the halls worrying. I don't think he's slept since Ana brought him here. Arkady and Hetty are debating specialists now. Deeks and Kensi are running themselves ragged for everyone. No one has left the hospital for more than a meal and a change of clothes. I heard Gibbs, Abby and Ziva are on their way back. Come on, time to get your lazy ass moving." Sam had said during one of his visits.

"The doctor is not very optimistic at this point… even if his lungs are clearing, he still won't breathe on his own." Garrison had informed the others, the stress of that knowledge weighing down on his shoulders.

Ana again considered her thoughts before… who garnered such love from him that he'd do anything for them. Kamran. Kamran had a piece of his heart few others were ever granted, "If anyone can reach him… it's Kamran." Ana stated.

"No. I won't put her through that. She's already been through so much. Her mother being murdered, G. leaving, being taken, almost dying, I won't allow her to be put in the position of…"

"Of what, daddy?" came the voice of his daughter from behind them.

"Nothing baby. We were just talking." Sam assured her with a less than convincing smile.

"About Uncle Callen?" Kamran asked, "Is Uncle Callen going to die because of me?"

"What? No, No. Uncle Callen is just very sick. It's not your fault." Sam assured her.

"But it is my fault. It's because of me he got beat up. It's because of me he got sick from the fire. He told me to run and leave him behind but I didn't. If I had listened he would have maybe fought them harder. Uncle Callen was protecting me, dad. It's my fault." She said as tears fell down her cheeks.

"Kamran, Callen wouldn't want you thinking that way. It would hurt him deeply if he knew you blamed yourself." Kensi whispered softly.

"He won't know that if he doesn't live. I want to see him." Kamran pleaded.

"I don't think it's a good idea" Sam replied, "I'm sorry."


	38. Chapter 38

**DISCLAIMER: Nope, nada, I do not own a single character from NCIS/NCIS LA. "If wishes were horses then beggers would ride".**

 **A/N: Hi. Thank you so much for all the reviews... they made my day. Been a rough week and this has been such a wonderful retreat. Just four chapters to go. Lot's to cover in just four chapters. Hope you are ready. I loved this chapter. I just love Gibb's friendship with Callen and Ziva has been such a wonderful character to work with. Abby is a darling. Hopefully, I got their voices right. I try so hard to write so I can hear their voices saying it in my head. Let me know what you think. I will be waiting... now shoo, read away.**

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He hated that sound. The incessant beeping, the constant whoosh of the ventilator. The depressing darkness, all sounds and sights of a life in the balance… He was losing count of the times it signaled Callen's life as the one in question.

Gibbs sat down next to his bed. Abby and Ziva remained in the hall, Ziva's heart was aching.

"Damn it, Callen… I'm getting too old for this. These moments of you fighting for your life are becoming all too frequent. You are far too reckless, old friend. Who knew when we met for that job in Serbia that we would have the friendship we have today. I have watched you search for your family for years. I've watched you shut out anyone who dared to care about you out of fear of being hurt and abandoned. This team here is the closest I ever saw you come to being content… happy even. I hate what they've done to you… but this?... this is unacceptable. You are a good man, you don't deserve to go out this way. So many things unfinished. Get your ass in gear, Callen!" Gibbs ordered. With a gentle squeeze of Callen's shoulder, Gibbs turned and left the room.

Abby and Ziva watched him go. Not one to show emotion, head held high, his walk was one of purpose… but to those who knew him best… the slightest drop in the shoulders gave away the pain he felt.

The girls entered the room quietly, one to either side of the bed.

"You know Gibbs," Abby went on to explain what she was sure Callen would already know, "He only yelled like that because he cares about you." Abby took in all the equipment surrounding the bed, "I hate hospitals, G. Callen… it means someone's hurting, except the maternity ward maybe… and you, you don't look like you're hurting…" she rambled.

"Abby" Ziva said simply in an effort to refocus her friend's thoughts.

"Oh, right, sorry. You have to get better Callen. You aren't allowed to give up, you hear me? You don't give up. You're G. Callen… there's always another way. Isn't that what you said?" Abby asked.

"Until there isn't… and you have to make a choice." Ziva finished.

"What?" Abby asked, looking up, her eyes bright.

"He always said, 'There's always another way, until there isn't and you have to make a choice," Ziva repeated.

"Oh… I forgot that part. Well, you only have one choice, G. Callen… live." Abby stated adamantly, "I'm going to go check on Gibbs… but I'll be back and when I do, I better see those blue eyes open and a smirk on your face."

The door slid shut behind Abby, leaving Ziva and Callen alone, "I shouldn't have left. I should have gone with you. I am sorry, I did not have your back," Ziva looked down at the face of the man she had grown to care deeply for. They were very much alike in so many ways. It's why their relationship would never be more than it was. What they had was good and lifelong… but it would never grow beyond friendship. "For people like us, if we ever do have a meaningful relationship, it needs to be with someone who still sees good in the world, who can see past the scars life has inflicted on us. It will need to be someone who still holds onto some form of innocence, despite the realities of their work. You have always told me you hate lies and would never force another person to live yours. I remember how you said Marty and Kensi made such a perfect couple. Marty had gone through so much as a kid and yet still held the innocence of one… the hope of better tomorrows and it was a good balance for Kensi who had lost that glass half full perspective. You had told me the same for Sam and Michelle. While both were positive in nature, Michelle was more of a realist than Sam."

"Maybe that's why Sam and Callen were such a formidable team." Ana whispered.

Ziva looked up, slightly startled, "I didn't realize I'd said that out loud."

"I'm sorry, I should not have intruded." Ana apologized as she turned to go.

"You're right though," Ziva answered, effectively stopping her retreat, "Callen never got to be just a child. He never knew innocence like most children. Yet he is so compassionate. He fights so others may enjoy what he never did. Sam was a good balance."

"The calm in the storm" Ana added.

"Yes," Ziva agreed with a nod, "neither is as good apart as they are together. True brothers."

Ana only nodded.

"He is easy to love, yes?" Ziva asked.

"He is… and he isn't," Ana replied.

"Agreed."

"I'll leave you to visit. I am sorry I interrupted," Ana again prepared to leave.

"No, you stay, I will come back later." Ziva said, stopping her once more before leaning over and gently placing a kiss on his forehead before whispering in his ear, "You are not alone… you are loved. Live, Callen, live."

As she let go of his hand after one last gentle squeeze, she looked at Ana. She saw the love and concern there.

"You care deeply for him. You want more than he can give. If that is so, you must choose. Can you be happy with what he CAN give, which is still more than most, in my opinion. If so, fight for him. Help him. I do not know if he will ever allow himself to trust anyone enough to commit to a relationship, to not be tempted to run but he deserves whatever happiness he can get. If that is enough for you… if you can be that person for him and be able to let go when or if the time comes… fight for him." Ziva gave a small smile as she left Ana alone.

It was a good question. Could she be happy with that? Was it enough? If she were honest with herself, she wasn't sure it was. She cared deeply for him. In the beginning she never expected more than a fleeting relationship… but in those quiet moments when he'd let his guard down, she'd fallen in love. She knew in her heart that while he may care for her or maybe even love her, he'd never allow himself the chance at a normal life. He didn't believe in it… not for himself anyways, "I don't know, Callen. I don't know if I can love you enough to settle for just here and now and no promise of the future… but never doubt, I do love you." She too kissed his brow and quietly left the room.

"Daddy, please. I need to see him. I need to tell him I'm sorry." Kamran begged.

"You owe him no apologies." Sam said a bit harsher than he intended.

Kamran walked away, tears falling down her cheeks.

"Really, dad?" Aiden asked, turning to follow his sister.

"You're making a mistake, Hanna" Gibbs said, walking up to the group.

"It's none of your business," Sam replied not bothering to turn around.

"Then I'm making it my business." Gibbs growled.

Abby walked up next to Gibbs soon followed by Ziva and moments later, Ana

"That man saved her life." Gibbs said.

"Which if it hadn't been for him coming back, would never have been in danger in the first place." Sam now turned to look Gibbs in the eye.

"That's where your head is?" Gibbs asked. "You don't know that. They were after him and would have used any means necessary. What we do know is, nothing would have stopped him from coming to save that girl. He couldn't love that kid more had she been his child. He could have taken that man out several times over, no doubt, but chose her safety over his own life. That man is still out there and he won't stop till one of them is dead. He finally had a chance at a future but he gave that up to save that little girl, your little girl." Gibbs stepped toe to toe with Sam, "Take it from someone who's been there, this isn't how you want it to end. It may not make a difference in whether he lives or dies, but it will make a difference for her if he does die… let her see him. Give her closure while she can still have it."

The room fell silent. Gibbs had said what they all were avoiding… the real possibility that Callen's luck may have finally run out or as Ziva felt… he'd made his choice.

Sam looked Gibbs in the eye. He saw a pain so similar to his own when he looked in the mirror… the pain of losing your soulmate to an enemy, "You really think he's going to die?" Sam asked.

"I think it's a real possibility… Sometimes one needs a reason not to die." Gibbs replied as Sam looked down in contemplation before turning to find his daughter looking at him. He simply nodded his acceptance and approval. She quickly walked towards the doors leading to Callen's room. He didn't want her to regret never having that closure with her Uncle Callen that he lived with every day not getting that final moment with Michelle.

Slowly Kamran made her way into the room. She stopped to look at the numbers on the screens having no idea what they all meant. She watched closely as the nurses made adjustments, gave him his meds. Finally, they left the room. She saw the sympathy in their eyes when they looked at her on their way out. She'd seen that same look over and over when her mother died.

"Hi, Uncle Callen… I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, but you know daddy. I like your friend, Mr. Gibbs. He's not afraid of dad." She sat quietly for a moment, gathering her thoughts, "I missed you when you left. I was mad at you for a long time. You promised you would always be there. My dad was mad when you left too. He said you didn't care about anyone but yourself. I knew he was wrong. He was just sad that mommy had to leave and then you did too. My mom used to tell dad that he couldn't make you stay where you didn't feel safe. Is that why you're leaving? Is that why you're dying? Because you don't feel safe here anymore? I know Heaven is a great place, Uncle Callen and you'd get to see your mom and sister and my mom… but I don't want you to go away again. I'm not mad at you no more. I love you, Uncle Callen. You said you never break a promise. You promised you would always be here for me and Aiden. You promised, Uncle Callen, Aiden said so. You can't die or you'll break a promise."

Sam stood outside the door, listening. His heart was breaking for his little girl.

"Remember when we were in the building and we were trying to find a way out? You told me to never give up… that I was going to go home to my family. Remember? Don't give up, Uncle Callen, we're your family. We love you. Please, please, please, don't give up. Stay here with me!"

Sam felt a hand on his shoulder. "That's a special kind of love. You're little girl is what kept him going… keeping her safe, keeping her family intact… keeping you safe so she never had to feel his loneliness. He never truly left here… he just gave you the space you wanted." Gibbs stated.

"I knew she loved him but I just never realized how much a part of her life he'd really become over the years." Sam admitted.

"Her protector… you were partners. You had his back. He had yours and by doing that it meant not just protecting you, Deeks and Kensi but every member of your family… especially yours."

"I never realized… I mean, I believed he had my back. I believed he liked my kids, respected Michelle… but I never thought he really cared…" Sam didn't finish.

"Callen liked to keep it that way. Made leaving easier." Gibbs sighed, "Come on, let's go get some coffee. You know she'd hate you eavesdropping."

Sam chuckled, "Yeah, she would." As he followed Gibbs down the hall.


	39. Chapter 39

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own any characters from NCIS/NCIS LA**

 **A/N: HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL WHO REVIEW! You will never know how much it means to me, to hear from you.**

 **Three chapters left after this... If you are enjoying this story, I would love to hear from you as I embark on my next one. Should I? Also, what do you think is going to happen here? So much to talk about! However, right now, you need to get busy and read THIS chapter. All I can say is GO KAMRAN! Talk soon? Have a great day!**

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"I love you, Uncle Callen" Kamran said as yet another nurse came in. She sat in the corner chair watching and waiting for the nurse to finish and give her the same sympathetic look. Only this one wore a medical mask over her nose and mouth. She also seemed less friendly than the others. She watched as she emptied a syringe into the almost empty bag of clear fluid. The nurse capped the syringe and put it in her pocket as she turned for the door.

"What did you give my Uncle Callen?" Kamran asked.

The nurse turned and looked her in the eye, her own eyes narrowed slightly from what Kamran thought might be a smile hidden behind that mask. It was then that Kamran realized why she felt funny about this stranger. She wasn't a stranger, she was one of the bad guys. She'd been the one who watched over the kids to keep them calm when they first kidnapped them.

"Help! Help!" Kamran screamed, startling the intruder into action. Hitting Kamran hard across the face and sending the girl sprawling onto the floor, she ran into the hall.

Kamran jumped to her feet and ran screaming to Callen's bedside, "Help! Please!"

Soon the alarms rang out as Sam and Gibbs turned on their heels and ran back the direction they'd come from. The intruder took note of the men and quickly turned and headed the opposite direction.

"Stop!" Sam yelled.

"You see to Kamran and Callen, I'll get her!" Gibbs ordered, pulling his gun.

"Daddy!" Kamran screamed.

"Baby, what happened? It's going to be okay…. It's going to be okay." Sam soothed, noting the bruise already forming on her cheek.

"I'm fine, Daddy! It's Uncle Callen. That lady put something in that bag." Kamran cried, pointing to the saline bag.

"Get that IV out now!" Sam ordered the nurses, who quickly complied as he took out his phone.

"Eric, we need footage of the camera in Callen's room for the last 30 minutes as well as the rest of the floor, elevators, and stairwells."

"On it, Sam. What's going on?"

"Someone just attacked my daughter and tried to kill Callen." As he disconnected the call, the rest of the team came through the door.

"Sam?" Hetty asked.

"Deeks, Kensi… lock down this hospital. No one leaves… no one gets in. Call Paris and Roy. We will need protection duty. Ana, you head towards the elevators." Sam ordered.

"Where is Gibbs?" Ziva asked.

"Out the door to the right. He took off after them."

"Who, Agent Hanna?" Hetty asked.

"Not sure who but someone came in dressed as a nurse and tried to kill Callen by putting something in his saline bag." Sam explained as Abby and Garrison walked in, watching all the commotion.

"They did what?!" Garrison demanded angrily.

"Abby, take that bag and find out what was in it." Hetty ordered, "Use the hospitals lab. Ziva, please accompany her."

Ziva nodded her acceptance. As they turned towards the door they heard the sound of two gunshots. Everything stopped for a fraction of time before Ziva ran out the door and down the hall, Sam fast on her heels.

"Gibbs!" Ziva yelled as he came around the corner.

"Abby! Take this syringe and have it analyzed" Gibbs said walking up to them.

"You've been shot." Abby shouted anxiously.

Gibbs looked at his upper arm, "It's just a graze… I didn't miss…" Gibbs growled.

"Dead or alive?" Sam asked.

"Do you see her?" Gibbs snarled.

"Right. So we don't know if there's any more or if she worked alone." Sam stated, annoyed he'd not get the chance to interrogate the woman who dared hurt his little girl and attempt to kill his partner… ex-partner… ex-partner, he reminded himself.

"Oh, she worked alone. I put a call into the guard about Iosif Romanov and passed along his latest activities regarding Callen and several family members of NCIS… That along with the information Callen retrieved… They'll be taking care of business. I know Callen intended to be the one to deliver that justice but I'm afraid it can't wait. However, until he can protect himself…"

"Already handled." Sam replied.

"How is he?" Gibbs asked.

"I don't know. They were just checking him over."

They made their way back to ICU where the chaos continued.

"What's going on?" Sam asked.

"They are attempting to regulate his stats." Hetty explained, "They are putting in a new IV."

Sam walked away to check on Kamran who sat next to Aiden with an icepack on the side of her face, "How are you doing, Baby?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Doctor said it was just a bruise" Kamran winced slightly as she gave her dad a reassuring grin.

"You were very brave!" Aiden said, patting her back, "Proud of you, sis."

"He's right, you were very brave. You may have saved G's life." Sam reaffirmed.

"Really? Is he going to be okay?" she asked hopefully.

"I don't know, Kam. What I do know is, if it weren't for you, he wouldn't have stood a chance." Sam assured her.

"But I want him to be okay" Kamran cried.

"Doctor, How is my son?" Garrison asked.

"I'm sorry, he's slipped into a coma. We are doing everything we can to keep him stable until we know what was in the syringe."

"Until we figure this out, we will have a guard rotation." Hetty stated.

"That's fine." The doctor replied then turned when Abby came running up the hall.

"Gibbs, Gibbs!"

"Abby, what is it?" Gibbs stated putting his hands on her shoulders to stop the jumping.

"I just got the results. They used Metoprolol. It's a beta blocker. Given a large enough dose it can cause breathing issues, vision disturbances, irregular heartbeat among other heart issues, low blood pressure, convulsions, and…"

"coma" the doctor finished.

"Yeah… because the bag was close to being empty it would have been pretty quick delivery. His blood test results were already high considering." Abby confirmed.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to get started on turning this around." The doctor stated.

"Can you?" Gibbs asked.

"We're going to try. I promise you, I will do everything I can to help him recover from all this. No one deserves to be put through everything he has obviously gone through" the doctor replied while handing a nurse written orders for the medicine needed to counteract the drug.

"How soon?" Garrison asked.

"I can't say. All we can do is clear his system and counteract the effects but his body is already depleted. Some of it will be up to him. Stay close to him, talk to him. Give him a reason to fight. Judging by all the scars I've seen, he's used to fighting to survive. Keep good thoughts, if you'll excuse me." The doctor stated as he turned to leave.

Garrison sat, unmoving, at his bedside throughout the night. Through all the alarms from blood pressure alerts and heart arrhythmias, he just sat and talked to him… stories of when he was a baby… stories about his mother and sister. He told stories he knew he needed to repeat once he was awake, stories he hoped he was hearing if only some, because he knew their time might be short. Garrison had contacts looking out for them and he would have to leave if his enemies got too close. He couldn't risk his son's safety, not when he couldn't at least defend himself.

The others took their turns either guarding his room or sitting with him waiting, watching… praying for a sign.

Sam decided staying together was their safest option after what happened earlier. He listened to the recording Eric pulled of Kamran's time with G. His heart broke at the pleading. Why did everything have to be so difficult?

He prayed for Callen to survive so they could figure out this mess their lives had all become because of one day so long ago. He hoped Callen would want to.

"I need to go."

"What do you mean, you need to go, Garrison?" Gibbs growled.

"My contacts have called to tell me that my enemies are near." Garrison tried to explain.

"Damn your contacts, this is your son we're talking about!" Hetty yelled, drawing attention from those around them.

"You have left him repeatedly and always when he needs you most, like now" Gibbs said lowly, "That man, your son, has spent his life looking for you, only so you can disappoint him over and over again. He is holding onto life by a thread and once again you run."

"As yet, my enemies know nothing of my son. The longer I stay the more likely that is to change. Should that happen, they would not hesitate to kill him. As much as I want to be here, I will not risk his life… not when he can't defend himself." Garrison returned.

Hetty and Gibbs shared a look before Garrison continued, "Take care of him. When he wakes, let Arkady know and when he… when it's safe, I will be back." Garrison looked them both in the eye, "I love my son… It is for him I do this." Leaving them there, he entered his son's room.

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

Nothing had truly changed in the days since the cure for the overdose bad been administered. The doctors were frustrated, his friends were concerned. As the days slid by, life continued on. Paris and Roy returned to their team. Gibbs, Abby and Ziva returned to DC… and finally, Hetty had to put her team back in the field. Though there was a constant guard on duty… the visits were not as long nor as frequent. Sam took his kids home bringing Kamran to sit with Callen every few days.

"How was it today?" Sam asked as Kamran met him in the waiting room.

"The same. I read to him. I told him all about where we are going this weekend… but he still didn't wake up." Kamran said sadly.

"I'm sorry, Baby. His body has gone through a lot. He's made it this far, he'll wake up when his body is ready." Sam explained, hoping beyond hope he was right… for Kamran's sake.

"Why don't you come see him?" Kamran asked as they headed for the car.

"Because I don't think my going in will accomplish anything. Unlike you, his favorite girl." Sam gave her a small smile, "Now, we need to pack and go get your brother."

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

"Beep, Beep… Beeping, always the incessant beeping." He'd thought he had heard voices. He could have sworn he'd heard his dad's voice… the mesh of voices he thought he'd heard rumbled through his head. Fleeting thoughts and memories… or were they dreams? He wasn't sure. All he knew was the beeping was growing more annoying by the minute. 'Why was it getting faster? Why was breathing so hard? Why couldn't he swallow?' The questions continued until they filled every thought… followed by panic and more noises and voices, none of them familiar now. Then there were the hands that refused to let him move… finally the blessed welcoming of the quiet and darkness.


	40. Chapter 40

**DISCLAIMER: After all these chapters, no, I still do not own these characters.**

 **A/N: Wow! We are fast closing in on the end. but you knew that already. Yes, Skippy, I am certain of the number. The chapters have been split up and ready to roll for quite some time. I only hope you will bear with me. We are strolling into some tough moments here and while I have a plan... it is too soon to share it with you... but I promised you I would leave them as I found them and like Callen, I keep my promises. Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I'm behind in my personal responses and for that I am terribly sorry... but I want you to know that I am very much appreciative of them. They brighten my day and they keep me coming back to do more. Please keep those reviews coming. Okay, here we go, Let me know your thoughts when you are done. It's never to late to start reviewing.**

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The soft morning rays of the California sun came through the window of the otherwise darkened room. Eyes flickered open attempting to adjust to the light. While sore, he could once again swallow. Shifting his arms and legs he found they were no longer bound or held… and there it was, the ever present sound of the heart monitor with it's now steady beeps assuring everyone that he lived. However, as he slowly turned his head and took in his surroundings, he found he was alone with the beeping. It's not that he expected to find anyone there. The voices he'd heard were merely dreams that plagued his sleep.

"Mr. Callen! It's about time you graced us with your presence" the nurse smiled as she entered the room. "They said you had blue eyes, they weren't kidding." She continued when he made no move to comment, "The doctor will be here shortly. Can I get you anything?"

A simple shake of the head was all he offered. Closing his eyes he willed the darkness to come back and reclaim him… but it was not to be.

"Good morning, Mr. Callen. How are we feeling today? You had a bit of a rough re-entry last night but your stats have remained steady all night. Can you tell me what year it is?" he asked.

Callen struggled with his thoughts for a moment before finally speaking, voice rough from lack of use, "2017. I'm assuming it's still 2017".

"Yes, it's still 2017." The doctor chuckled, "your name? Can you tell me your first name?"

Callen's eyes narrowed as he eyed the doctor curiously, "Is this some kind of joke? No first name… only a letter… G."

"Good to see you've maintained your sense of humor. I will have them bring you some broth and jello… see how you handle that. I'll be back in a bit to see how you are doing."

By Monday morning Callen was growing bored. Deeks, Kensi, Eric, and Nell had finally stopped by explaining they'd have been by sooner but had been working a case. Hetty too stopped by and requested he stop by the office when he was up to doing so. Why, she wouldn't say. She told him that Sam and the kids had gone away for a long weekend but would be back by Tuesday.

Other than that, things remained quiet. Deeks filled him in regarding the attempt on his life while there. Eric had given him camera footage for that time period as well. Callen thanked him but didn't bother to tell him that he'd already hacked into the cameras himself. He'd also called Blackguard who had informed him that Iosif was being dealt with. They were pleased enough with the evidence he'd retrieved that they asked him to stay on but Callen offered no promises.

Leon Vance had been equally impressed with the results and assured Callen he was in no fear of losing his place with NCIS… but again Callen gave no guarantees. He had a long recuperation ahead of him and he needed time to figure things out.

A knock at the door brought Callen out of his reverie, "May I come in?" his visitor asked as Callen immediately went on alert.

"Jennifer Kim, if I remember correctly… better known as Assistant Director Owen Granger's daughter. As he mentioned her father's name he saw the shadow settle over her face, "I'm sorry about your father. Owen Granger was a good man." Callen offered.

"Thank you. I'm just glad I had the chance to meet him." She replied with a small smile.

Callen couldn't help thinking about Garrison. It seemed he'd never truly get to know him. He only came around when his life was in chaos, then by the time things calmed down, he'd disappear. Perhaps he should just settle for having met him and moved on.

Jennifer sat and watched the man before her. She remembered him from the first time they'd met. He was a good fighter and he was cute. She could easily get lost in his deep blue eyes… the same blue eyes that looked so troubled and lost right now.

"I hope you don't mind my barging in. I've been looking for you for a while now."

"You have. Why?" Callen asked, turning his attention back to her.

"As you know, I spent time with my father recently. He asked one favor of me in the end. He wanted me to give you something… said it was important and you had a right to know." She stated, "It was very important to him." She replied.

"Okay…." Callen answered looking confused.

"Here." She handed him an envelope.

Taking it, he placed it in his lap. He made no move to open it in front of her.

They sat in awkward silence. They weren't friends and barely acquaintances, "Well, I hope you are up and moving soon." She stated, clearing her throat as she stood to leave.

"Thank you… and thank you for bringing this to me. I know you didn't have to." Callen responded.

"Yes… I did. It was important enough that he made me promise. I just hope you are still happy I brought it once you've opened it." She said.

Callen's eyes narrowed, "You know what's in here?" he asked, holding the envelope up.

"No, but let's be honest… in this business, one is always skeptical of such things." She replied. "Good luck Callen."

Callen's eyes followed her as the glass door slid shut behind her. He then turned his attention to the envelope in his hand. Slowly he opened it. He pulled out a sheet of folded paper and a key to a safety deposit box.

Unfolding the paper, he stared at the writing. It was definitely Grangers, but why him? It was no secret that Granger hadn't been his biggest fan in the beginning, nor had Callen been his. Yet, over time, they had gained a mutual respect for one another. He refocused his attention on the words before him.

Grisha Aleksandrovich Nikolaev Callen,

Finally, we are able to call you by name… I only wish you could have been told sooner. You are probably wondering why I am taking the time to write this when my own time here is so short. I told Hetty I had things to do. One of those things is you, Agent Callen.

In this business we keep a lot of secrets, perhaps too many. One of the most difficult secrets I've ever had to keep was yours.

I've known you much longer than when we met at the boatshed that first evening as Assistant Director. I've known you your whole life. You will be surprised at just how many people you know have also known you since the start.

Enclosed is a key to a safety deposit box, information for where is below. What is in that box is yours to do with as you wish. You deserve to know your past. You have managed to find much of it on your own but not everything.

You are a good man, Grisha. Your mother would be proud. I am honored to have had the opportunity to work with you. Forgive me for not giving this to you sooner but believe me when I say we did it all to keep you safe.

O. Granger

Callen laid the letter in his lap and picked up the key. He ran it through his fingers as he reread the letter. Granger had known him from the time he was a child. Was there no end to those who would betray his trust by keeping secrets? His thoughts were cut short as the door to the room slid open once more and in walked his half-sister, Alexandra Reynolds.

She smiled as she entered, glad to see him sitting up and alert, if not distracted. "How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I'm good. You?" he returned.

"I'm good, busy, but good. I'm sorry I didn't come back sooner. I just… it was too much like when mom died. I just couldn't bear it." She explained.

"It's fine." He stated, "You didn't need to come."

"Yes, I did. We're family. You're all I have. Garrison is rarely here anymore. I've missed you."

Callen looked at her for a moment. He realized he'd not been fair to her through all this, "I'm the one who owes you an apology. The past few years…" he stopped and looked down at his lap. "I've become so used to being alone that I tend to forget that I'm not anymore. My life is complicated at the best of times. The last thing I want to do is hurt or alienate you."

"You could never do…" she began before Callen interrupted her.

"Don't… please, don't finish that statement."

"Why? It's true" she replied, confused.

"You think it is, but one day you'd realize differently. Trust me, I know from experience, all I do is disappoint, eventually."

Alexandra looked at her brother thoughtfully… and she did consider him her brother, not her half anything. Life was hard enough and from what little she knew, his was incredibly so. They deserved a family that was all in, even if it was just the two of them.

"Okay. How about we just be thankful we have each other. Just know, I'm always here for you and I know you enough to know you'll do the same." She stated carefully.

Callen looked down at the letter in his hand as he worried the key between his fingers of the other hand. Slowly he looked up, his eyes meeting hers in a thoughtful gaze, "Do you think you could give me a ride?" he asked.

"uhm, sure. When? Where?" she asked in return.

"Now, as soon as I can get signed out of here. I have one stop to make and then I'll find a room for the night." Callen stated, "Can you hand me that bag?"

Alexandra handed him the duffle with a questioning look.

"What? If it's a problem, I'll understand. I can get a cab." He responded.

"No. I'll take you where you want to go, no problem. It's just, are you sure you should be checking yourself out already?"

"Nothing but lying here being poked at… I'm a little weak, sure, but lying here isn't going to fix that." Callen argued.

"Okay, but you'll stay with me and Jake tonight. He would love to see you and I would love to have you there." She encouraged.

After a brief debate, Callen gave a small nod, "Okay… thank you." Callen slowly stood and grabbed his bag before heading to the bathroom.

"So, do you do this often?" she called out, noticing he efficiently turned off the monitors and took his IV out before getting up.

"Do what?" he called from the bathroom.

"Just up and check yourself out of the hospital like this… I mean, it seems kind of routine." She replied.

She heard his chuckle and it made her smile. She found it sad how little he seemed to laugh. She turned from the window as the door to his room swished open, "Mr… where is Mr. Callen?" the nursed asked, looking at the monitors and IV pole.

Alexandra nodded toward the bathroom as the door opened.

"I just need to… oh, hi Hazel…" Callen stated when he noticed the nurse looking none too pleased with him.

"Don't you Hazel me! Just what do you think you're doing, Mr. Callen?" she glared at him.

"I'd think it fairly obvious." Callen answered unconcerned.

Alexandra watched with fascination at the way Callen handled the situation.

"The only place you are going is back to bed." The nurse ordered as she called out for the doctor.

"I'm afraid our time together has come to an end. I have places to be, so if you would just go get me those papers to sign, I would appreciate it." What started almost as friendly banter ended in an order that brooked no argument.

"Well, we will see about that!" Hazel said leaving the room.

"Wow" Alexandra mouthed as the older nurse left. Callen shot her his classic smirk as he perched himself on the edge of the bed. She could see he was already tiring and worried whether his decision to leave now was a good one or not. Her thoughts were quickly interrupted by the presence of his doctor.

"Mr. Callen… you seem to have stirred Nurse Hazel up. What's going on? I would strongly advise you to rethink your decision. You are still terribly weak and from what I understand, you have no home to go to?" the doctor asked.

"Doc, I appreciate your concern and your advisement is duly noted. However, I will be going to my sister's house from here and I'm sure I can rest there as well as here. Besides, she's nicer and cooks better." Callen reasoned.

With what Alexandra took as a sigh of resignation, the doctor jotted a few notes in the file before having Callen sign the papers. After a few words of warning, the doctor wished him well before taking his leave.

"Huh, that went better than expected." Callen admitted.

"So you HAVE done this before…" Alexandra stated while grabbing his bag, "What's so different this time?"

Callen thought a moment before answering, "Interference from a tiny ninja" he chuckled at Alex's confused reaction, "Let's just say there was no one worried about me coming and going this time." Callen shrugged as he headed out the door not hearing the response that trailed behind.

"I wouldn't exactly say no one," Alexandra whispered walking out behind.

"Mr. Callen, if you choose to check yourself out unadvisedly, that's your choice but you are still our responsibility until you hit the front door… so sit your butt down in the chair." The nurse ordered.

"Hazel… it's been, well, I'll miss you Hazel." Callen allowed a brief smile.

"Just listen to your nurse, Callen. It's a long way to the car." Alexandra ordered.

The smile faded as the nurse returned a smug one of her own, knowing his visitor was backing her up. Callen turned towards Alexandra, "traitor", he whispered as he lowered himself into the wheelchair.

"Keep it up and I'll let Nurse Hazel here take you all the way to the car." She grinned, enjoying what she knew would be only a brief moment of friendly banter.

"No, No, you win" Callen held his hands up then used one to wave good-bye as the nurse huffed and turned away, "Same to you witch hazel" Callen mumbled as Alexandra broke into laughter.


	41. Chapter 41

**DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own any of the characters from NCIS/NCIS LA**

 **A/N: Oh my goodness! Only one chapter to go after this... I gotta say, I'm feeling a wee bit melancholy over it. Despite what you may think, I know what I'm doing here. You need to have faith in me that I will, indeed, return this team to the way I found them... I know there are many questions and much concern in regards to that. Skippy, yes there was a bit of a time jump, but not by much. Approx. a week maybe from the point he had awakened. He was still quite weak when he left and shouldn't have checked himself out but you know how he gets... he was quite adamant and so I wrote it the way he demanded. {{{chuckles}}} But seriously, I'm not sure what you were referring to about being confused... I have planted many seeds within... I will eventually connect the dots... eventually... {{{{evil grin}}}} Thanks to everyone who has been leaving reviews. You have no idea just how much they truly mean to me. To Skippy and "guests"... I appreciate your input, I truly do. It keeps me writing... These characters are very demanding of my time as of late. LOL I keep thinking I will get to the story I started over in the Arrow fanfiction... but I just can't get settled. These guys aren't done. Yes, I'm babbling... sorry. Here you go. Please read and review! I'm waiting.**

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Once settled into the car, Callen gave his half-sister the address of the bank where the safety deposit box was housed.

"You sure this can't wait till morning? You look exhausted." She said as she looked him over carefully.

"It's waited long enough" Callen replied, his voice hard.

They drove the rest of the way in silence, each lost in their own thoughts until they had reached their destination.

"You want me to go in with you? You're looking incredibly tired." She asked again.

"I'll be fine. I won't be long. Just wait here." Callen replied, pulling himself from the car.

"If you need anything else, just let us know. Otherwise, we'll leave you to your business." The bank manager offered with a smile, looking to catch the attention of the attractive man with the intense demeanor.

Callen gave a distracted, "thank you" with a small smile in return. Once alone he opened the box. Inside was a USB stick and some pictures. Pocketing the USB stick he took a moment to look through the pictures. They were pictures of what he assumed was his sister, Amy and himself with their mother. There was a picture of his mother and father. Then there was one with, to his disbelief, his parent with none other than Arkady Kolchek, Hetty Lange, and Assistant Director, Owen Granger.

Hetty had claimed she didn't know his father. His mother, yes, but not his father. Arkady? Hell, nothing surprised him. Their relationship was always one of questioned loyalty. As for Owen, now that came as a shock. His dad had never said a word. The question lingering now was WHY?"

Closing the box he tucked the pictures into his jacket pocket. With his energy waning, he made his way back to the car.

"Did you get what you came for?" Alexandra asked.

"Yeah, I did, thanks" Callen asked, leaning his head back against the headrest.

"Good. Let's get you home so you can rest while I make dinner. Jake will be home soon. He'll be so happy to see you." she said, not expecting an answer.

"You need to prepare him for the fact, I'm leaving tomorrow. I don't want him hurt because of me." Callen warned.

"Why do you need to leave tomorrow? Is there someplace you have to be? Does anyone but our father and you know where I am?" she asked.

Callen struggled with her reasoning. "Okay, no, I don't have any place to be. Yes, I'm sure they do but not anyone who would threaten your safety which is the reason why I should go, before they do." Callen turned to look out the window.

"Stop it. No one is going to find you that quickly. Stay with us and rest up for at least a week or two. I'd like the opportunity to know my brother and Jake, his uncle." Alexandra commanded.

The car fell quiet for the rest of the trip. She figured he'd drifted off to sleep. In truth, he'd lost himself in thought as he stared out the side window at the passing scenery.

"Hetty, do you know where Callen is?" Sam asked when Hetty answered the phone the next afternoon, "I called Ana but she didn't know and neither did Kensi and Deeks."

"I'm afraid he no longer confides in me, Mr. Hanna" Hetty answered, "However, from what his nurse shared with me, he left with a woman who fit the description of Alexandra Reynolds. My guess is he is in good hands." Hetty assured him.

"Yeah, well he could have at least let me know. Kamran wanted to see him, now she's all upset because he left without saying good-bye…Again!" Sam snapped.

"Patience, Mr. Hanna. I do not think he would leave without a good-bye for your daughter. I have asked to speak with him before he goes anywhere. I think you should know, I am asking for him to return to the OSP. I am not sure what response I will receive but I thought you should know, as I realize it may play a part in your decision to return." Hetty stated.

"You honestly think after everything that's happened that he'd ever come back to the OSP?" Sam asked incredulously.

"I won't know until I ask, Mr. Hanna." Hetty replied calmly.

"Good luck with that", Sam stated, though Hetty wasn't entirely sure the statement was sincere. "If you see him, you tell him Kamran deserves to hear from him."

"I will surely do that, Sam."

NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA NCIS LA

Callen stood looking at the mission. So much had happened here. For the better part of ten years this had been… well, home… or so he thought. This time around really acted as a vehicle for closure… feelings had been shared, maybe not HIS really, but then he didn't feel the need to air out all their old junk. They apparently didn't feel that way. Still, he was thankful Marty had stepped up and set them straight. He wished it made a difference. He wished a lot of things.

Once he crossed the threshold he headed directly for Hetty's desk. He didn't take the time to stop at the bullpen. First and foremost he needed to deal with Hetty. He'd spent the previous evening reading the files Owen had sent him. To say he was angry would be a simplistic summarization of what he was feeling. If he were to be honest with himself, he didn't know exactly WHAT he felt anymore. He thought he knew these people…

"Mr. Callen…" Hetty stated watching him.

"Hetty" Callen answered. His voice, his whole demeanor came across as stony.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Callen?" she asked.

"You could say that." Callen replied.

"Well, sit, let's talk." Hetty returned as she looked him over.

"No, not today Hetty… I need time before we have that conversation. Suffice it to say, you have a lot to answer for. You and Arkady. At her questioning glance he continued, "Owen Granger left me something he thought I should have. It was quite enlightening, very disappointing in regards to the three of you if you count Garrison.

"Can we talk about this?" Hetty asked as understanding dawned.

"Now you want to talk? I'd say that ship sailed a long time ago. How many times have I asked you to tell me what you know? How many Hetty? I sincerely want to know, because I've lost count." Callen asked harshly.

Hetty sat for a moment collecting her thoughts. "It was for your own protection, to keep you safe." She stated softly.

"In case you've forgotten, I'm a grown man. I've protected myself most of my life. I'm still standing. A little weather beaten maybe, but still… I don't need your protection. I don't…" Callen stopped. He wasn't exactly sure he wanted to finish that sentence. He trusted her… once. He didn't know how he felt… other than hurt and confused.

"I am sorry Callen. You will never know just how truly sorry I am." She said at almost a whisper, "I hope you will allow me the opportunity to make amends."

Blue eyes, bright with emotion, stared into her own bespeckled ones. He noticed, quite suddenly, just how much she'd aged since he'd gone. He hadn't been the only one affected by his leaving. Despite his anger and hurt over her actions, past and present, he owed Hetty a lot. She'd saved him from himself more times than he could count. She believed in him when no one else did, including himself. Until 'that' day… when she didn't, when… like everyone else… she doubted him. Sam's betrayal was hard and it hurt more than he'd ever admit, but Hetty? Hetty's doubt was more than he could bear and it only added to the hurt that he allowed himself to trust her. It was that very thing that stopped him now.

Hetty watched as his stare became hard and icy, causing a chill to run the length of her spine.

"Callen, before you go and before we speak further on this subject, I want to present an offer to you. Don't answer me now, just take it with you as an option." Hetty began. When Callen didn't argue she continued, "I think you can see how fractured this team is with you gone…"

"What are you saying this mess is my fault? Because I'm…."

"No, Mr. Callen, No, I would never begin to suggest such a thing… but it's not been the same since you left and there's not a person here, Sam included, who would argue it. We know our mistake and we would like to try and atone for those errors in judgement. As a first step in that journey, I would like to offer you your job back… back here at OSP. Team leader… and before you ask, I already spoke with them and they are all in agreement." Hetty finished and watched Callen for his reaction carefully.

"You… they… want me back here?" Callen asked uncertainly.

"Yes" she answered simply.

"Sam as well?"

"Yes" she replied again.

There was silence… Callen's mind whirred over the implications. After everything, he found the prospect of working with them frightening and G. Callen didn't scare easily. To do this he needed the one thing he didn't have and couldn't do… trust.

"I need time… I'm going away and I'm not sure when or if I'm coming back."

"I see" Hetty answered with concern.

"Look… you told me once that you had hoped by the time I left here I would have learned to trust… to trust my team. I did that, Hetty. I trusted you and because of that, I trusted your team. We both know how that turned out now don't we. I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm not sure they can." Callen said standing up.

"We are all human and we make mistakes but we learn. Give us the opportunity." Hetty said looking up.

Callen looked away. He looked over at the bullpen. He was met with the stares from three people who appeared to know exactly what conversation was taking place. "I don't know, Hetty. I wish I did but… I can only say I will let you know when I figure it out." Callen gave only a brief glance back in her direction before walking away.


	42. Chapter 42

**DISCLAIMER: One final time for this story... no I do not own any of the characters belonging to NCIS/NCIS LA.**

 **A/N: Here we are... the final chapter. I can't believe it. I am so sad... and thrilled... and excited... and scared. REALLY scared. Firstly, because my computer didn't want to turn on and I thought I lost everything. Secondly, well, Please don't hate me. I give you no spoilers to the chapter but to say this... Does a story ever truly end?**

 **To those who found some confusion in the last two chapters about lapsed time. Yes, there was, you are not confused. When a character is in the hospital... we know it takes time for them to heal. It is difficult to always show that progression of time without stating flatly... this much time has passed. I tried throughout to show that without the added words... I guess I tripped up on that one. I'm sorry. He was in the coma for an unspecified period of time... understand that not every person coming out of a coma suffers long lasting effects. I figured he had suffered enough and needed to get on with the business of living... while the weakness of not being mobile did follow him... I insinuated that approximately a week had passed from his waking to the point of his leaving. I will double check and correct if need be. I THANK YOU so much for your input. These are the things that I appreciate. It helps me the next time I take pen to paper. I read every review and while I shamefully don't always get replies sent out as I should (I try... promise) but I listen to what you are saying and thinking. So thank you for making this journey a joyous one.**

 **READ NOTE AT THE BOTTOM PLEASE!**

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He entered the bullpen pausing momentarily at Sam's desk then turned to face the questioning looks of the remaining desks occupants.

"Callen"

"I assume you are aware of Hetty's offer." He stated more than asked.

"Yes." Was the unanimous response.

"Are you back?" Eric asked as he and Nell entered from behind them.

"Uh, no. I came to say good-bye. I'm going to take some time to think and figure out where I go from here." Callen answered.

"But why?" Kensi asked softly, "We need you here… we're not the same team without you."

Callen leaned against his old desk. He looked at Kensi thoughtfully, "Kens, even if I did come back, it would never be the same. Too much has happened and we are all very different people. I know I am… and not necessarily for the good."

"We just worked together, we didn't have any trouble." She replied desperately.

Callen sighed and offered her a small but sad smile, "I can't Kensi… not yet anyway, I'm not ready."

"Just promise us you won't go back to Blackguard or Renegades." Deeks requested, taking the hand Callen offered and pulling him into a brotherly hug.

Callen offered no reply to his request only gave a request of his own, "You take care of her Marty, I'll be watching."

Callen pulled back and looked at Ana.

"I'm just keeping it warm until you come back." She stated and then continued as Callen looked at her with a confused questioning gaze, "Your space, your desk. I'm good but I'm not you. When Sam comes back he will need you here."

"Thank you Ana for being here for them. Thank you for being here for me… I'm sorry…"

"Don't you dare apologize for us… for who we were… I knew… I accepted it then. Don't apologize for it now." She kissed him gently on the cheek, "come home soon." She gave him a soft smile, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

Callen again left the request unanswered, He shook Eric's hand and spoke softly so only he could hear, "You attempt to track me and we'll have words." Callen clapped him on the shoulder before turning to Nell. Deeks cast a questioning glance at the stark look on Eric's face.

"Hey Red"

Nell smiled and blushed at the nickname so long unspoken, "Callen"

"Watch out for them… and yourself." Callen requested.

"I will, be safe… please come back." She countered.

Callen smiled as he passed her and headed for the door making no promises he couldn't keep because Callen always kept his promises, which is why his last stop was Sam's.

He stood outside the apartment just thinking. Nine plus years of partnership and this is where it led. It bothered him more than he wanted to admit. He knew in his gut it was destined to happen. All of his partnerships had failed. He just didn't play well with others. Still, his heart had hoped. As time passed, he thought 'maybe'… 'maybe this time could be different' and if Michelle were still here maybe it would have been… but she wasn't. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Knocking, he waited, uncertain of the greeting he'd receive.

"Uncle Callen!" Kamran cried out as she looked through the peep hole. Opening the door she threw herself into him with a hug. I was worried about you when you weren't at the hospital yesterday. I thought maybe you went away again.

"No, I promised you I wouldn't do that without talking to you first." Callen reminded her.

"But you are leaving, aren't you?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"Yes, I am," Callen admitted, looking around, "Where's your dad?"

"He's in the shower, he just got home from his run." She answered.

"And Aiden?"

"He went back to school. I'm keeping my studies up here for now."

"Good" Callen cleared his throat and lowered himself into the nearest chair… his body, still recovering from all he'd been through, was beginning to fatigue.

"You okay, Uncle Callen?" Kamran asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I'm fine… just a little tired. I have something for you."

"You do?" Kamran asked, an edge of excitement in her voice.

Callen handed her a phone.

"I already have a phone" she looked up at Callen, confused.

"I know, but this is a special phone for you to use when you need to talk to me. I programmed in the number so don't give it out or use your other phone. This is for you and you alone. I have one for Aiden. Can you give it to him? Tell him what I told you." Callen said quietly.

"Is this so the bad guys don't find you?" she asked somberly.

"Yeah, something like that." Callen answered with a grin.

"Okay… does daddy get one too?" she asked hopefully.

Callen shifted uncomfortably, "No, not this time." He answered.

"Oh, are you and dad still mad at each other?" she asked, again causing Callen to clear his throat nervously.

"No, I'm not mad, I'm …disappointed… sad… but no, I'm not angry. I need to get going. You doing okay?"

"Yeah, I… I miss our home. I miss my mom." Kamran said as a tear escaped the corner of her eye and trailed down her cheek causing Callen to reach out and gently swipe it away.

"I'm sure you do. She was a special lady and she was a great mom to you and your brother. A good friend to me." Callen said with a catch in his voice.

"Yeah, mom really like you, Uncle Callen." She replied as she put a hand on his shoulder to give comfort as well.

"She did, huh?" Callen chuckled when he thought back to the first time they met, "Well, I'm glad to hear that. Listen BananaHanna, I need to get going. You need me for anything, you call me. Just remember that phone is for you only."

"Do you have to go Uncle Callen? Can't you stay and be dad's friend again?" Kamran pleaded.

"Kam, I will always be there for you. If you or your brother need me, I'll be here as soon as I can. You take care of your dad, okay?" Callen said getting up from his chair.

"What if dad needs you? Can he call you then?" she asked again.

Callen sighed, "If you think he needs my help, you call me and we'll see what we can do, Okay?" he answered her.

"Okay, I love you, Uncle Callen."

"You too, Kam. I'll let myself out so you can get back to your studies," Callen said heading for the door.

"Come back soon, please don't stay gone so long this time," She called out.

"You need me, you call." Callen responded, again avoiding the plea for a promise that once made Callen would feel compelled to keep.

Callen gave her one final wave as he closed the door and began walking down the hall.

"So, you're leaving." It wasn't a question but a statement.

Callen stopped with a smirk on his face and turned to face his ex-partner, "Yes, Sam, I'm leaving."

"You talked to Kamran this time." Sam stated knowingly.

"Yes, she knows," Callen responded.

"Guess that's something," Sam stated uncomfortably.

"Despite what you might think of me, Sam, I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt her… you have to know that…" Callen stated adamantly.

"I did once… I'd like to again."

"What's going on here… this… this here?" Callen motioned between them, "You know damn well why I left. If you are waiting for an apology you're going to be disappointed. I don't owe you anything." Callen challenged.

Sam wiped a hand over his face, "No, you don't, you're right. It's me who owes you an apology."

Callen raised a brow but said nothing at first.

Sam took a step closer, "First, thank you. Thank you for saving her and bringing her hack to me. I don't know what I would have done if she'd…" Sam struggled to finish.

"Sam… she's alive, she's fine." Callen said, "I just wish I could have done the same for Michelle."

Sam saw the pain on his face even after all this time Callen still carried the guilt for Sam's loss regardless of the fact there was nothing he could do, "Not your fault man. Look… I'm… I just"

"Don't Sam… you aren't read to say it any more than I'm ready to accept it…" Callen started.

"Callen… where are you going? When are you coming back? Are you going to accept Hetty's offer?" Sam blurted out in one go… afraid that Callen might disappear before he could try to get the answers.

"You ask a lot of questions." Callen said offering no answers.

"My kids miss their Uncle. I miss my brother," Sam responded.

Callen eyed Sam carefully before looking away, "I don't know," he stated.

"What?" Sam asked, looking confused.

"I just answered your questions."

"Which one?" Sam asked again.

"All of them. Look, you aren't the only one who has to decide if the job is still worth the risk."

"You thinking of quitting?" Sam asked, surprised by the turn of events.

"Thinking about it… I've been doing this for a long time. I'm good at what I do. I'm just a little tired of the games… not knowing who I can trust… Maybe it's times to retire." Callen said.

"You're too young to retire." Sam said, feeling the sting of Callen's words. He knew his name made that same list as his other past partners who had betrayed him.

"I don't need the money, if that's your concern. I've been stocking most of my pay away for years. I don't require much. An odd job here or there will keep me." Callen shrugged absently.

"What? For Blackguard?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Not your concern, Sam" Callen threw back.

"Come on, Callen. You know you won't retire, this is who you are. You're a born agent. A natural. It's in your blood." Sam argued.

"Yeah, well maybe that's the problem. Seriously, don't worry about me. I'm not the one paying rent and a mortgage. I get that you miss her but that little girl misses her home. She needs those memories that are tied to that house… so she doesn't forget her mother. Until you face those ghosts… you will never move forward. She deserves better than this hole in the wall," Callen said looking Sam in the eye.

"She's fine. She'll be going back to school soon anyway." Sam defended himself.

"It will always be her home. The place where she can connect with her mom. Don't rob her of that. You'll come to regret it. The day will come when you'll want those reminders for yourself. Go home Sam. Take Kam home. Live your life again. Michelle wouldn't have wanted this for you. Then you need to decide if being an agent is really right for you now… Above all else, be happy, Sam." Callen didn't say anything more just turned and walked away.

"Hey, Callen… I'm sorry. I know it doesn't change anything but I am." Sam called out not expecting a response.

He slowed only slightly but turned just enough to cast a glance back over his shoulder with his trademark smirk just barely there and a slight wave as he turned and kept walking. Sam watched, a small chill running along his spine. He'd gotten that same response that day, May 5th, when he almost lost him forever. He only hoped history would repeat, in that he would come waltzing back into their lives as if nothing happened.

For now? He'd go home… He'd take his daughter and go home. He'd make Michelle proud and hopefully… maybe one day… he'd get his best friend and brother back…

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE::::: Okay... sooooooooo... What did you think? Did you really think after all this that I would end with a cliffhanger? HA Before you scold me and you know you want... and to be honest... I don't blame you. You know I do that all the time when I read yours... So here's the thing. If you enjoyed this one... I have another... but it's not the full fledged sequel. It falls in between them. Plus I have a Christmas one in the works between THAT ONE and the SEQUEL. So, are you game? Or do I stop? Which would kind of stink since my head is exploding with the ideas. But if there are no readers to read and review... it makes no sense. SO PLEASE READ THIS NOTE AND LET ME KNOW... the next one is already done... much much shorter... the Christmas one is in the works and I'm researching the actual sequel as we speak. so I'm gonna say good bye now... and bite my nails as I await further instruction.**


	43. Chapter 43

Hey everyone!

I just wanted to stop by and leave an update on this story series. (trying to think of a name for the series… any ideas? Let me know.)

I am presently working on the last installment of this series. I am approximately half way done writing it… maybe a little more. As soon as it is done, I will begin posting it.

If you enjoyed this story… "On the Other Side of Fear Lies Freedom" then be sure to read the next two that followed… "The G. Callen Job" which was a crossover with "Leverage" (great show if you never watched it) and then "A Time to Remember".

Also, if you are new to my stories… they all intermingle. All but the three mentioned above are stand alones but if you watch, there are references to previous stories. It helps to read if you wish but isn't absolutely necessary. I would love to know what you think of them if you do choose to read them.

Had a few guest reviews I wanted to reply to….

1\. Melissa: You mentioned the change in spelling of names throughout the story. I noticed I had done that as well. Unfortunately, when I went back to fix the issue, I thought I had managed it but then your review came along and I realized that it didn't stick. Sorry. I intend to go back and try again. Not sure where I went wrong. Thank you for letting me know, I truly appreciate it.

2\. Lin S: I think we should get Callen, Hetty, and the gang back together as well… So please, hang in there and keep your eyes open for this next story.

Callen and the team have a long road ahead of them. Buckle up! It's going to be a bumpy ride!

See you soon!

Dramamama5


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